Humor-oid

Most People Weren’t Flaky in the World I Remember

Ghosts of humans past, that’s sad

Without thinking hard, I can recall multiple incidents in the LAST WEEK where friends and acquaintances, business people and several other fellow humans disappointed. They did so simply by failing to follow through on promises. Simple promises at that.

Here’s a good example.

We’re now three for three on NOT meeting. She is a healthcare professional like me. Her first excuse, too lame to remember. For excuse number two she upped the ante. “I blew a tire.” she claimed, shortly before we were to get together. (Boy her lips must be sore, I now think, darkly.) Then, after promising that “the third time will be a charm,” a blatant “no show.” No further communication, just “crickets” or “ghosting” or whatever hellish form of horseshit you want to call it.

Here’s another one.

A friend and I, someone I’ve known for years and used to live near, arranged to get together when I was in his city on a brief trip. He was to call me when I arrived. He had dates, times and location — a hotel 10 minutes from his house — all prearranged by me. Nothing could be simpler or more scripted, all set up for success. I arrived, stayed within four miles of his house for two days and never heard from him. Now I’m home again, and still haven’t heard from him.

And finally, and believe me, I could go on and on.

I just bought a house, and I’m trying to arrange a million small details with the homeowners’s association. Each detail requires two to three emails, calls or texts, most of them ignored until I find a community representative on the property rolling around in their little golf cart and pin them to a tree and badger them with my questions. Then, and only then, do I get an answer. All other forms of communication go largely unanswered, repeatedly, annoyingly, unprofessionally.

So why is it that businesses and people, who should just behave decently and either respond appropriately or just do the right thing and behave as promised, nearly never do?

I have some theories but no real answers.

1. During my medical training we pronounced it “Fuh Big Me,” AKA F%$K You Buddy I Got Mine. This translated to sloth or a bad case of “senoritis” as fourth-year medical students the moment we knew we had secured a resident position (the next step in medical training after med school). After all, what was the school gonna do, not let us graduate? So, we devolved to do-the-least-you-can-do-to-still-pass mode and nothing more. Guess what, it worked! Weird doctor-to-be behavior but nearly everyone did it.
2. It’s what everyone has come to expect. It’s the “new normal” to use an over-used phrase. We’ve settled … for less. Customer service and simple human decency having gone the way of the dinosaur, so behaviors like I’ve described above … who cares. They’re part of the social landscape. So, frankly “Boomer (that’s me),” who are you to act all high and mighty and try to call us out on our behavior? Just roll over and die already will ya! You and your expectations of so-called decent behavior became extinct during the Jurassic Period.
3. We’re just not worth it. With 7.5 billion inconsequential humans on the planet, how we treat one another matters not at all. We’re like ants or bees, unless the king of the hill or the queen bee dies or is adversely affected, “life flows on within you or without you,”* to quote a famous sage. Get over yourself you overly-sensitive old whiner (I can hear the whispers).
4. All of the above. Just a horrible amalgamation of the above and really a minor part of the slop of civilization as it slides off the dinner plate and into the trash.

Who knows?

I do feel better though, after pounding out this little foot-stomping diatribe. And really, that’s all that matters really, that my petty little needs are met.

Unless of course you find me in the neighborhood, pin me to a tree, and demand that I do the right thing and actually care about another member of my own species.

• “life flows on within you or without you” — Within You Without You from Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. Although probably George Harrison’s intent when he penned these words was radically different than mine when I used his quote.