Most Humans Are Not Slugs, a Little Salt Won’t Kill Us

It would be cool if some were

This morning, my wife went to Walmart with her sister-in-law. I had to fix breakfast on my own.; which was fine. I tried making eggs over-easy, but they ended up scrambling.

I was cool, rolling with the punches, it’s not like I’ve messed up a meal before. I cooked my breakfast and put it on the plate. I needed salt and pepper, we had pepper, but then I remembered. My wife quit buying salt.

My dad enjoyed a little food with his salt

I don’t over-use salt, I didn’t even do that when I was smoking. I’m not like my dad. He would drown my mom’s cooking with salt before tasting it, pissing my mom off in a big way.

A little salt is good for the body, it’s necessary for good health, but I can’t tell my wife that. She and my mom would have gotten along well.

Mom and dad were good cooks

Salt usage was one of the many bones of contention in the Wallace family home. My dad was a heavy smoker his whole life, which killed his taste buds. My mom was a good cook, but she didn’t use too much salt.

It’s like with everything in life, extremes are wrong. My dad loved salt, I think he liked the taste of salt more than he loved food, and he loved food.

They argued about it often

My mom went overboard fighting with dad over salt, and dad was over the top with the salt-shaker.

You’re not a slug, despite what your significant other says behind your back

I remember when my brothers and I were little. We would be outside on a hot Texas summer day. There would be slugs oozing across the patio or sidewalk.

One of us would run into the house and grab the salt shaker. We would watch fascinated as the salt-covered slug dissolved in agonizing death.

You’re not a slug, despite what your significant other says. Salt your food in moderation, it will taste better.