The Monster Ball

Monstrous Misalliances

Monsters are the Original Frenemies

It is a Storyspinner Supporting Characters Day in the Monster Realms. And as you can imagine that in this shadow landscape, it means something completely different than it does in other invisible realms.

Frenemies have a place in our lexicon. An oxymoronic mashup of “friend” and “enemy”, it describes a relationship with someone with whom one is friendly, despite a fundamental dislike or rivalry.

A rather spot-on description of our intimate relationship with our Monsters who combine the characteristics of a friend who has got our back, and an enemy who can’t help but stab us in that same back they are supposedly guarding.

Our Monsters really do mean well. And they are mean. So it gets tangled up. And thus, when we take stock of how our relationships have grown and changed, we can now see how we lovingly sabotage ourselves. We are indeed our greatest friend and biggest enemy.

And we can thank our Monsters for this awkward misalliance.

Monsters will never not sabotage. No matter how many tea-drinking interventions you do with them, their fundamental nature is to scan the landscape for danger and make some up if they don’t see any. What looks very benign in daylight, can look frightening by moonlight.

They are looking for the worst, and whatever you seek you can and will find.

You can’t really change their self-sabotaging monstrous natures. Thus we manage our Monsters. Because they can’t be tamed. They will always be wild instinctual animal natures, never wise spirit guides. As gatekeepers, they will let you through eventually but they will not smooth your path. They will flee from your flashlight. They will lie in wait to pounce whenever they can.

It is just their fundamental enemy nature.

And in their frenemy role, they help you to grow in courage and confidence. They challenge you to become wiser. They test you, again and again, to see if you have expanded beyond reaction into deliberate action.

They are your good enemy.

Monsters grow us into the kind of people who can deal with adversity and challenge. They make us resilient. But only when we turn and face them.

Figuring out exactly what you need from these frenemies who are not going away, and making the most of this relationship is what this realm is really all about.

Deciding if Fear’s fear is real or imagined.

Filtered the messages of Anger as to whether or not your energies are being violated.

Discovering if Jealous sees an unlived potential that is important for your long-term happiness or if it is just a passing whim.

And mostly learning how to heal Shame with your Monster Remedies so that it feels safe enough to let you come out into the light with all of your perfect imperfections, real and imagined.

And finally, as you honor your monstrous frenemies in this uneasy alliance, turn your flashlight onto Procrastimonster and allow its avoidance powers to direct you into the actions you need to take to manage all the other Monsters. Doing your Monsters’ Move first thing. Checking it off your list.

More than any other, ProcrastiMonster is our helpful assistant in the art of Monster Management. It shows us where our Monsters are hiding and sabotaging us, just by activating Procrastination.

(It may sound a bit monstrous to force yourself to deal with the things Procrastimonster is avoiding before you are ready, but in truth usually avoiding just makes it worse, and we will talk about that tomorrow.)

My Monster Tea Parties have been pretty awesome this month. And the Witches Brew that has been distilled has helped me to record my Monsters’ Memoirs. This becomes the guidebook to see me through this realm, not just in October but each and every day as I brave the actions and interactions that my Monsters fear.

And that is the main point of Monster Moves. These actions and interactions are what shape my life in the visible realms. And so entering into the invisible realm of my Monsters to cultivate my relationship with them it becomes easier and easier to heed their warnings and to navigate past them at the same time.

Because that is what we are doing in a scary story. We keep ourselves alive and in the game by courageously and wisely navigating this realm to enter into the Marketplace at long last.

This Monster Menagerie likely has delayed us from this important arrival, but it has made that arrival all the more memorable for the adventure with which we have engaged.

For in truth, a story without conflict is no story at all.