avatarC.J. Obikile

Summary

The poem expresses deep emotional pain and turmoil experienced in a relationship where the speaker feels hurt by the partner's silence, absence, and emotional unavailability, leading to a struggle with love and the desire to let go of the painful relationship.

Abstract

The poem delves into the complexities of a toxic relationship where the speaker is tormented by the partner's emotional distance and the resulting internal conflict. Despite acknowledging the partner as an abuser and oppressor who belittles and disregards them, the speaker grapples with their own longing and inability to release themselves from the relationship's grasp. The poem conveys a raw mix of hatred, pain, and the struggle to reconcile the image of the person they loved with the reality of who they've become. It highlights the paradox of desiring someone who consistently causes hurt and the difficulty of moving on from a love that may have been more of an idealization than a genuine connection.

Opinions

  • The speaker feels deeply wounded by the partner's silence and absence, suggesting a profound sense of neglect and emotional abandonment.
  • There is a sense of betrayal and disillusionment as the speaker realizes that the person they loved and the reality of their partner are misaligned.
  • The poem reflects an internal battle where the speaker acknowledges the toxic nature of the relationship but still struggles to relinquish their emotional attachment.
  • The speaker's love seems to be unrequited or at least not reciprocated in a healthy manner, leading to feelings of futility and self-doubt.
  • The partner is portrayed as someone who enjoys exerting control and power over the speaker, diminishing their voice and thoughts.
  • The speaker expresses a desire to break free from the cycle of pain but is conflicted by their persistent longing for the partner's affection and attention.

POETRY

Monster

A poem I never thought anyone would see

Photo by Camila Quintero Franco on Unsplash

You are hurting me. Maybe not intentionally,

But, your silence hurts. Your absence hurts. Thinking about you hurts. Reminiscing about what we used to be, hurts. Seeing other people happy, hurts.

It feels like I replaced one pain for another, When I thought I had found my forever. Or maybe that is the lie I told myself to keep it all together.

You are unyielding, difficult, and sometimes, I really hate you.

My love does not appease you; it only seems to have made you harder. My tears do not soften you; they only seem to irritate you further.

You make a mockery of the pain, and sadness you cause me.

I do not think I love you. Maybe I love the idea of who I thought you were. Maybe I love the idea of being with that person. But that person doesn’t exist anymore. Sometimes, I doubt he ever did.

Where I always had your attention, now you blatantly ignore me. In your twisted way, maybe you want me, but I doubt it.

You are my abuser. You belittle me. You diminish my voice.

You are my oppressor. You debase me. You disregard my thoughts.

You make me long for you but never give yourself to me.

You make me feel pathetic, small, weak.

You are the monster in my nightmares, why can’t I let you go?

Poetry
Love
Relationships
Life
Life Lessons
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