Monster
Shadow Monster Ferek was born on July 2nd, 2007 and ruled the Ferek household until March 4th 2024. His reign of terror lasted sixteen years and seven months. For perspective, at the time of his passing Shadow was a one hundred and sixteen year old Pomeranian; in dog years. He was violently territorial, a massive grump, and the epicenter of our family. We loved him unconditionally.
Shortly after Shadow came into this world, I was recalled into the Marine Corps and had orders to mobilize and deploy for another year. Stricken with sadness and anguish, my wife quickly decided that I could easily be replaced, temporarily mind you, by a miniaturized canine. So off we went to the local pet store to see what they had in stock.
Upon entering the showroom, my wife zeroed in on Shadow. She marched past rows of dogs who would be able to protect her from potential intruders, alert the neighbors if she were to fall into a well, play fetch, or make me look cool if I were to walk them around the neighborhood.
She made a b-line for a cage occupied by two sleepy canines who happened to look more like cats than dogs. Come to think of it, they were staged in the same aisle as the cats. This was probably a sales strategy; an attempt to con blind old cat lady’s into buying the dogs which most sane people typically ignore; the Pomeranians.
“That one,” she said as she pointed to a jet black three pound sleeping heap of fur. An employee jolted the dog awake and handed him over to my wife. His story was written in that instant as he quickly went back to sleep in Emma’s arms. She had fallen in love, but I had questions…
“Why is he so tired?”
“Why is he fifty percent off?”
“Did he just growl in his sleep?”
Like most men in the cat aisle, I was ignored. Shadow slept with his head on Emmas shoulder as we walked through the store picking out a crate, dog toys, and brushes. He slept the entire ride home, and he even slept while we put him in his crate for the night.
Turns out, he was drugged. This was for his benefit, as nobody in their right mind would have paid money to take Shadow home had they seen his true temperament. As we unlatched his crate the next morning a different animal emerged. The docile, purring animal we had tucked in the night before was seemingly replaced by a miniature yet vicious killer with a massive ego.
Most dogs are not assigned a middle name, but Shadow earned the title of Monster immediately. “Shadow Monster Ferek” was etched into a dog tag that day. It flowed well, fit his personality, and looked cool on the metal dog bone shaped tag dangling from his “Bad to the Bone” collar.
From that point on, he ran the place. He would snarl, growl, and bite anyone who came too close. Pick him up at the wrong time; better protect your face. Grab a toy he’s playing with; lose a finger. Touch him when he’s drifting off to sleep and you risked waking a demon. Larger dogs feared him. Large humans feared him. Honestly, who wants rabies?
Shadow never did drop the attitude. Rage was his thing and he never let us forget it. But over time, he did begin to settle. He would snuggle with us on the couch when he was tired. We just had to remember not to move until he woke up on his own. As an unhinged psychotic, it was best to let him wake naturally from his dreams of world domination, genocide, and Rachael Ray dog food.
Shadow looked like a ferrell raccoon, but at the end of the day he was a dog. And just like any dog, Shadow empathized with people; especially his family. He would show us his softer side when one of us was sick, sad, or hurt by sauntering over and putting his head by our legs. He would look up at us with those canine eyes that are proof that dogs possess a living soul.
He was a peacemaker. We were a newly wed couple during shadows formative years, and just like many newly wed couples we would fight; a lot. Blowout fights would frequently erupt over disagreements regarding which restaurants to go to, which movies to watch, how to properly load the dishwasher, how to properly fold a t-shirt, or where to set the thermostat. Shadow would end these fights by cowering in the corner and trembling, all the while staring at us with a look that says, “That’s enough.”
No good humans can carry on like this when they know they are putting fear into the heart of gods greatest creature; the dog. We would be brought together as we got down to his level to pet him and assure him that all would be well. To show his appreciation, he wouldn’t bite anyone for at least an hour.
Time went by and we had a son. We sent his hospital blanket home in advance so Shadow could get used to the smell of our firstborn child. He yanked the blanket away from my mother in law, took it into his crate, and snuggled with the little blue blanket for hours. He knew by its scent that this blanket had been with family.
As David got older, Shadow would chase him around and rip his socks off causing him to crash violently to the ground. He loved David, but he never hesitated to remind him that he was living in the dogs castle and he best not forget it. David maintained a respectable amount of fear of Shadow until the end. But ultimately, our son was there to help comfort him in his final moments. And Shadow was grateful.
Some more time went by and Gracie joined us. This time, it was different. Grace never put up with Shadow’s shit. She never feared him and he loved her for that. He had finally met his match and there was mutual respect; and love.
Grace would ignore his chaotic outbursts as she dressed him in princess outfits and swimming goggles. In turn, she was always the one to hold and comfort Shadow on trips to the vet, to calm him during thunderstorms, and give him the occasional bath when he smelled like wet socks. He even let her brush his teeth; once.
Grace would take ownership at the vets office, explaining in detail Shadows symptoms and conditions, and making sure the vet knew that Shadows brain was broken and he therefor could not be held liable for his violent crimes against mankind; or vet techs.
They took care of each other. They felt each other’s pain and supported each other with snuggles and hugs whenever necessary. Grace was there at the end to hold him up when he could no longer walk, guide him when he could no longer see, and provide the love he needed to keep going strong. Grace took the loss of Shadow the hardest.
Throughout Shadows nearly seventeen year existence he served as a fixture in our lives. We needed Shadow just as much as he needed us. He was my wife’s companion when I was gone, the self proclaimed protector of our home, a friend to our children, and a blessing upon our family. His loving spirit was always felt and ever present; through this families good times, and bad ones. A monster in life and an angel in our hearts.
The day he passed Grace made a memorial for him in her room. His dog bed was decorated with his collar, stuffed animals, and a home made Rest in Peace sign with his nicknames listed below. Roo, Sausage, Tater Salad… Monster.
She said to me, “I wish Shadow could see this.”
My answer was simple… “He can.”
Shadow, we will love you forever. Rest in Peace. You’ve earned it.