“Monk! Those who don’t get married, lose out on this very important thing!”
There is a very sweet lady in my office — half American half Chinese, close to 55 years of age, happily married, has a son and daughter — both grown up, staying far from home, and building their respective lives. She works as an administrative support staff and sits just next to me. Lets call her “Juan”.
And, she behaves like an angry old lady in the office. I once asked her why is she so stubborn with everyone, and she gave a very practical response — “If I am nice to everyone, they give me too much work. One person is not enough to support this large workforce.” Indeed, she was correct and I could not argue with that.
But towards me, she has the softest corner.
Needless to say, we talk a lot which envy everyone in the office. One even whispered, “What do these two people talk about? One is 30, and the other is 60. Both are such contrasting characters — one is a bully and the other a monk. I wonder if they even have any common topics to talk about.”
Well, we talk about anything and everything — from interfering in-laws to old age, from stray dogs to community service, her occasional feedback on my dressing sense, etc. One fine morning we talked very seriously for half an hour on how she wanted her death ceremony to be conducted.
During one of our conversation, she very affectionately said this to me,
“I want you to get married. I want you lead a happy life.”
I knew what she meant, but to this I very politely replied — “But Juan I am already very happy. There is nothing more I can ask for from life.”
She could not help but smile. She said —
“Let me rephrase myself. I want you to live a fulfilling life.
Get married, have kids, and experience life!”
Our conversation continued for 5 minutes as she was very affectionately telling all this to me. Soon others also joined, and Juan said —
“I am convincing him to get married. I would have asked my daughter to marry him, but she is already married.”
Everyone laughed at this, and I knew she was saying this on a lighter note.
But I knew what she meant and she meant well of me. I said, “Sure Joan, I think it will happen when it has to happen.” We laughed for some more time on lame things. The conversation ended. The day ended.
But as I was walking back home from the office, her one phrase stuck with me.
“I want you to live a fulfilling life.”
I began to wonder how leading a “happy life” and a “fulfilling life” are so different, and how this is applicable to every aspect of life.
A happy life is one where everything is fine and shine like a Walt Disney movie — A nice childhood with the best of resources, you marry your first love, have a perfect marriage with perfect kids, and life goes on.
But a fulfilling life is where we experience all sorts of emotions, all sorts of hardships, and all sorts of pain — because then only we can say that we have truly lived a fulfilling life.
Still cannot choose between a happy life or a fulfilling life? Here’s a perfect analogy!
Remember as a kid when we would all go to an amusement park with lots and lots of joy rides — the rollercoasters, the toy cars, the hunting mansions! As a kid, we would not leave the wonderland until we have experienced all of them.
Then, as adults, why are we afraid to experience all the rides life has to offer?
Each emotion — be it sadness, heartbreak, disappointment or even happiness — is a ride. Each ride is unique and each ride is important.
And a fulfilling life is the one where we have hopped on to each and every ride, and enjoyed it thoroughly.
I think I am beginning to understand life now. All the pains, sufferings, and difficulties are nothing but God’s plan for us to have a fulfilling life.
And O boy! did we not buy a full price ticket to get this one and only life?
How sad would it be to come to this once in a life time adventure and not take all the rides it has to offer?
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