Summary

The author reflects on personal growth, the importance of managing expectations, and the realization of the need for financial stability to achieve long-term goals, emphasizing the significance of understanding one's purpose and setting clear objectives.

Abstract

The article titled "Monday, The Resolution Day" delves into the author's introspection on the nature of expectations and their impact on personal well-being. The author acknowledges the anxiety and disappointment that can arise from uncontrollable external factors, drawing on personal experiences such as a race and relationship expectations to illustrate the point. The narrative transitions to the author's recent realizations about the root of their depression—financial instability—and the consequent shift in perspective regarding the future. This epiphany leads to a reevaluation of goals and the adoption of a more forward-thinking approach to life, including financial planning and prioritizing experiences over material possessions. The author concludes by sharing their newfound purpose, which includes writing a personal mission statement, exercising, studying, and writing, and encourages readers to face their fears and adapt to achieve their habits and goals.

Opinions

Expectations can lead to unnecessary anxiety and disappointment, especially when outcomes are beyond our control.
Personal relationships should be accepted without expectations of change, as this is a recipe for dissatisfaction.
Financial problems can be a significant source of mental health issues, and addressing them is crucial for well-being.
The author emphasizes the importance of living in the present while planning for the future, balancing immediate experiences with long-term stability.
Understanding one's 'why' is a powerful motivator for change and can lead to the development of clear, achievable goals.
Facing fears is essential for personal growth, and they can be transformed into motivational tools.
The author values experiences over material possessions but recognizes the necessity of financial security for a fulfilling life.
Self-reflection and honesty are key to personal development and setting realistic and meaningful objectives.

Monday, The Resolution Day

The weekend has gone and last night, like most Sunday nights, expectations are created for the upcoming days…

” Will I get a job interview this week?

”Will he call me? ”

” I will begin my diet and exercises tomorrow ”

… it’s a long list…

Expectations create anxiety and disappointment.

Have you ever thought of how much pain you would have prevented caused by it?

I did. I constantly remind myself not to do it .

Regarding what is under my control, I know which results I will get, but when it comes to what is not in my control…

On my first race, I trained in similar course conditions, studied the course, prepared myself considering as many factors as possible. It was hotter than I expected but I finished in the time I trained for. I knew the weather and the level of other participants were out of my control. Therefore, I was happy with my results.

In a personal relationship, it’s even more clear. We meet someone and he or she looks perfect. The more we know that person, the more we fall in love until we find ” details ”, we wished they were different. If you are in a relationship expecting the other to change or thinking that you can change him or her, it won’t work.

Fulfill me, make me happy, make me feel safe, tell me who I am. The world cannot give you those things, and when you no longer have such expectations, all self created suffering comes to an end. – Eckhart Tolle

Now, we have a brand new book of blank pages waiting to be fulfilled. A new year has begun bringing hope, expectations, wishes to become true.

Like every year, I evaluate what has happened in the past year, my win and losses. Also, I assess what I want for this year.

Some things never change but as I grow older, my goals and wishes change.

Last year, I learned that financial problems are the trigger of my depression. On the other hand, I had this Carpe Diem mentality because I never believed in a future for myself.

It doesn‘t make sense, right?

It took me 45 years to realize it. Living throughout depression my entire adult life. Experiencing the scariest incidents of it last year.

Fear of dying although my mind only saw death as a solution for myself.

I am single, living alone in a country where I am not fluent in the language. No friends near me or family. Add to that financially broken.. again!

I wasn’t luck asking for help before. It was a traumatic experience that always make me question my self-worth.

Fear turned into panic. It made me think and search for help. I knew what was my main trigger and I decided to search for books and financial information. It made me feel so stupid knowing that I have no savings and that I never care about it. As embarrassing and hard it is to face the problem, I asked myself why. Why do I behave like that? I always made good money working and I don’t have much expenses, then why? I do have hobbies that involve trips and that are expensive like scuba diving and hiking but even so why didn’t I ever bother about saving?

The answer was right in front of me: Future!

The future was inexistent in my mind. When I was 16, I thought I would live until my 20’s or so. As I grew older, I kept this mentality that I don‘t deserve a future or all it entitles for most people.

A house, a family, a steady job until retirement.

Not for me.

Recently, I had been saying that if I live until my 80‘s I will still be diving. It’s a joke.

What if it‘s not a joke and I do want it?

Thus, I better have a roof, a healthy body, and money to allow me to live that long, don’t you think?

That was the moment that all changed. I understood the reasons for the depression, my behavior, my fears.

When you find your why, you find a way to make it happen.” Eric Thomas

The goals and dreams have changed. Not the values.

My belongings are kept to a minimum, not attaching myself to materialistic possessions. Now, if I am going to be here for a while, it’s okay to have a coach or even a computer in the future.

I give priority to experience instead. It didn’t change. From now on, I might see a decrease in long exotic trips and adventures but I understand the bigger goal behind (diving in my 80’s) and I smile.

Now, I have a real purpose. I know why I must exercise, keep up with my studies, be mindful with my expenses, and even why I must keep writing.

For this holiday, I had the following to do list:

Write my Personal Mission;
Exercise everyday;
Study;
Write;
Finish a book ( I read more than one at a time)

All done now!

My mission was the most difficult part to do. I have been thinking about it for days. I have been reading articles, journaling, even asking for help until it came out. Now I comprehend my purpose and from there setting my goals for the year ahead became clear.

Keeping the other tasks were also a piece of cake!

I woke up and went out for a run to witness the first sunrise of the year. The temperature felt like -8C and I had no reason beside my to do list to leave my bed.

First sunrise of 2022 in Japan. Photo courtesy by the author

It was a good choice. The right choice.

Every day we have a chance to change, learn, and adapt. Whatever if it`s a new habit, a goal-setting, a decision to make, be honest with yourself.

No one besides You know what is better for you.

Fears can be a good thing if we understand the reasons behind them. Only you dare to face what scares you and use it on your behalf.

Habits and goals became manageable to achieve. There will be obstacles but your inner straight will find a way. You will find resources and motivation to keep moving.

Like me, I hope you will write many stories of success and happiness in those blank pages ahead.

Thank you for your time.