Moments of Betrayal
What the “Bridges of Madison County” can teach us about self-betrayal
(First posted Aug 2020)
“We watched in horror as Francesca betrayed herself; we were grief-stricken because we know we would do the same.”
– Sarah Ban Breathnach, “Something More”
A few weeks ago, I watched the film, “The Bridges of Madison County,” again.
The movie was based on the novel by Robert James Waller. If you haven’t seen the film, it stars Meryl Streep as Francesca and Clint Eastwood as the photographer, Robert Kincaid.
It is a beautiful film but rather uncomfortable, I suspect, for many women to watch because it raises some uncomfortable questions as to what we would do, if we were in Francesca’s shoes.
Francesca is a 1950’s housewife living, more comfortable than happy, with her husband and two teenage kids on a farm in Iowa. When her family heads off to the state farm for a few days, Francesca is relieved to have her home — and her time — all to herself…to do just as she pleases, for once.
What she doesn’t count on, however, is a National Geographic photographer getting lost trying to find the famous covered bridges of Madison County and stopping by her farm to ask for directions. One thing leads to another and, much to Francesca’s surprise, her plans of sweet solitude go out the window. She and the photographer fall in love.
When the time comes for her family to come home again, she must make a decision: stay in Iowa with her family (whom she loves dearly but has given up a great deal of herself, and her dreams, for) or leave with the photographer.
There is a moment near the end of the film when Francesca is in the family car. Her husband is driving but they are stopped at a red light. The photographer is driving the truck in front of them. When the light turns green, the truck doesn’t move. Her husband is puzzled as to why (he has no idea about the affair) — but Francesca knows perfectly well. The photographer is giving Francesca one last chance to leave her old life and embark on a new one with him.
As the truck continues sitting at the green light, her husband grows impatient and honks the horn. Francesca reaches for the door handle. Will she find the courage to leave a life she is no longer happy in? Or will she do the right thing — for her family — and stay?
Francesca slowly pulls her hand back from the door. The truck drives away. The moment has passed. The opportunity is gone. Francesca has made her choice. She holds it together until she gets home again. Then she collapses in the pantry, sobbing.
Now, I suspect many of us would say she did the right thing by staying…