Mom of Seven Arrested After Starting Pre-Black Friday Fight

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paring for her “event of the year.”“Football players have the Super Bowl; hockey players have the Stanley Cup. Moms of seven kids have Black Friday. It’s like any other sport. You have to be ready. You have to practice.”Shonhower says that she began the discount rack brawl in preparation for similar encounters expected during upcoming Black Friday sales. She asserts the guttural war cry and arm waving is part of a Black Friday Shopper’s approach, designed to frighten off potential competition for the contested merchandise.“Everyone forgets about the approach,” Shonhower told us outside the county jailhouse this afternoon. “But if you can scare the bejeezus out of them before you even get to the display, you don’t have to break out the defensive grappling at all! The folks who win Black Friday are the folks who know how to play offense and come in with a plan.”Shonhower did apologize to Mrs. Sawyer for the incident and bought her the pumpkin that started it all, as

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a sign of good faith. Sawyer has decided not to drop the charges.“Last year I lost a Hatchimals and the last can of pureed pumpkin in the store because my shove game was weak. It won’t happen again this year. But if I want to really test my mettle, I have to make it feel real,” Shonhower says. “It was never about the pumpkin. It was about the workout.”Shonhower did decline to list the stores she intends to visit the day after Thanksgiving as well what item is on the top of her shopping list, claiming that would give away too much of her game plan.<a href="https://mailchi.mp/a10eefccb1d2/gwennalaithlandemailsubscribe">Click here to get a weekly digest of my favorite articles in your inbox.</a>Gwenna Laithland is a writer, launch advisor, and writing coach. She is the founder and editor of WonderQuill. She is a work-at-home mom of 3 living in Oklahoma. She writes contemporary sci-fi and is working on her debut novel, Beyond the Sky.</article></body>

“It’s like any other sport. You have to be ready.”

Image credit: CDC

Edmond, Oklahoma — Debbie Shonhower, 39, was arrested Thursday afternoon after starting a fight at an area Target.

According to witnesses, the mother of seven and extreme couponer attacked 73-year-old Caroline Sawyer over a 70%-off ceramic pumpkin.

“I was looking at this little table decoration when that madwoman started screaming and waving her arms. She came running at me and grabbed the pumpkin right out of my hands,” claims Sawyer. “I don’t know why I didn’t let go, but when I didn’t, she shoved me.”

Sawyer was examined by medical personnel, suffering only minor injuries. According to the police report, Shonhower explained her actions as preparing for her “event of the year.”

“Football players have the Super Bowl; hockey players have the Stanley Cup. Moms of seven kids have Black Friday. It’s like any other sport. You have to be ready. You have to practice.”

Shonhower says that she began the discount rack brawl in preparation for similar encounters expected during upcoming Black Friday sales. She asserts the guttural war cry and arm waving is part of a Black Friday Shopper’s approach, designed to frighten off potential competition for the contested merchandise.

“Everyone forgets about the approach,” Shonhower told us outside the county jailhouse this afternoon. “But if you can scare the bejeezus out of them before you even get to the display, you don’t have to break out the defensive grappling at all! The folks who win Black Friday are the folks who know how to play offense and come in with a plan.”

Shonhower did apologize to Mrs. Sawyer for the incident and bought her the pumpkin that started it all, as a sign of good faith. Sawyer has decided not to drop the charges.

“Last year I lost a Hatchimals and the last can of pureed pumpkin in the store because my shove game was weak. It won’t happen again this year. But if I want to really test my mettle, I have to make it feel real,” Shonhower says. “It was never about the pumpkin. It was about the workout.”

Shonhower did decline to list the stores she intends to visit the day after Thanksgiving as well what item is on the top of her shopping list, claiming that would give away too much of her game plan.

Gwenna Laithland is a writer, launch advisor, and writing coach. She is the founder and editor of WonderQuill. She is a work-at-home mom of 3 living in Oklahoma. She writes contemporary sci-fi and is working on her debut novel, Beyond the Sky.