Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning Is The Most Mission Impossible Mission Impossible Movie Ever

I don’t really like writing about movies because there’s not that much to write about and honestly I think movie reviews are pretty boring. Unless you write them like the day of release or even earlier. But I just saw Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning and wow, just wow. I have a lot to say.

So first of all, do you remember in Mission Impossible 3 the entire back half of the movie was focused on the ‘Rabbit’s Foot’? And no one really knew what it was only that it was important? Yeah, that’s Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning… only the entire movie.

Yeah, I’m pretty disappointed by this movie. The entire plot revolves around this key. What does the key do? It unlocks some AI’s source code or something or allows you to control it or destroy it or something. It’s not explained well. And this is despite the ridiculous exposition scene that happens not once but twice where a character or characters just casually explain the entire plot for no good reason.

It’s just so disappointing because they could have made it so much more interesting. Make it some cyber weapon made by the US or China or somewhere and have it escape onto the internet and the key unlocks some safeguards built into it. In essence, whoever unlocks the safeguards gets control over the entire internet. Now that’s a movie I want to see.

But instead this AI is not even sold as being a real threat. We’re told that it knows everything and can predict the future. But if the AI is so smart why didn’t it just get Ethan killed in like 500 possible ways? It makes no sense.

There was this AI movie I watched a while ago called Eagle Eye. It’s a really good movie, doesn’t get the credit it deserves. Some people say that parts of the movie are not very believable. Yeah, it’s true, but it does a really good job of conveying how the AI is programmed to follow the US’s founding documents. And how it thinks its doing the right thing. Damn, now I want to watch Eagle Eye again.

The AI in Dead Reckoning, on the other hand, is handled so badly that there are some pretty big coincidences that happen here. You can almost feel the invisible hand of the screenwriter at parts. Bad characters inexplicably become good, characters have major problems that randomly get solved off screen, and some characters just twiddle their thumbs for no reason.

And the characters. There are tons of new characters that are barely explained. And that is in addition to the many returning characters. It’s extremely cluttered and lacks focus. Why not just bring up some old characters? Say they broke out of prison or something, I don’t know.

Now it is possible in Dead Reckoning part 2 it’s going to come out that this AI is a massive troll and that’s why Ethan survived. Plot twist: the AI is actually Elon Musk. And then there’s going to be a massive reveal that the AI is trying to make a movie with a ridiculous amount of action while still making sense. But that wouldn’t be a very good reveal.

And there is a lot of action here. Unfortunately pretty much every single action scene has been spoiled in the trailer. And with more slow motion and dramatic camera angles which makes the movie version seem disappointing. Now that I mention it, it is possible they cut the movie down a bit. It has a 2 and a half hour runtime which is pretty long. But Avatar 2 was over 3 hours so they should have gone longer. Maybe there will be a rerelease with extended action scenes and more dialog. It seems to be what all the cool movies are doing these days.

But the number one problem with this movie is not the AI, it’s not the nonsensical plot, it’s not the random characters that pop out of nowhere, no it is Ethan’s ridiculous womanizing tendencies. A large portion of this movie is Ethan chasing some woman that obviously does not share the same feelings for him. It’s like, “What are you doing buddy?” This has been seen before in Mission Impossible. I think in 2 and a little bit in Rogue Nation but it is nowhere as awkward as it is here.

Also reminiscent of the early Mission Impossible Movies: the plot. It makes no sense. You need like a spreadsheet to keep track of who is good or bad in each scene and who has which parts of the key. I don’t think I’ve been this confused by a Mission Impossible movie since Mission Impossible 1.

All in all Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning is all the worst parts of Mission Impossible wrapped up in a neat package. The only saving grace is the action. There are a lot of action sequences. Many of which make no sense but are entertaining regardless. It’s like the scriptwriter was like, “Well Tom, what do you want to do in this one?” And then he was like, “You know, I always wanted to jump off a mountain on a motorcycle.” And then the scriptwriter was like, “OK, that’s a tough one but I think we can make up some BS story that would get you to do it.”

It is just utter nonsense. It’s not a bad movie, it was entertaining. But it wasn’t a very good Mission Impossible Movie. It wasn’t as good as Fallout. Or Rogue Nation. Or Ghost Protocol. Or 3. In terms of Mission Impossible Movies it’s probably roughly on par with 2. The one with the random doves. In fact random doves in this movie wouldn’t be too out of place. They make just as much sense as the rest of the movie.