Mirror, Mirror

a poem

That look of me in the mirror Why is that different from what I expect it to be?

A decade ago I had desired to become this person — this exact same person. The hair, the attire, the attitude, the confidence that I didn’t have back then. The small town girl with fire in her belly has maneuvered obstacles and landed gracefully. The concealers have worked, the dark circles are hidden But have not quite concealed the emptiness within.

That look of me in the mirror Why is that different from what I expect it to be?

I see a woman who has all the answers She has checked all boxes to perfection. But somewhere along the way she drifted from her own expectations. Yes, she shattered glass ceilings, but it took a toll The scars are covered, the stories untold. The arched eyebrows are neatly shaped Around the lines of doubt on her forehead

That look of me in the mirror Why is that different from what I expect it to be?

I pause and look again, this time staring into the eye. “Are you sure you are me? The me who believed in spontaneity ? In loving, laughing and setting free? You look rather caged In that fancy attire of yours The designer labels — do they define you or deride you?” “Free me”, you say I look away.

That look of me in the mirror — It is the result of my dreams, my doing Then why is that different from what I expect it to be?