The mindful social media practices that will make you happier

Social media can be a powerful weapon for change when you know how to wield it.

by: E.B. Johnson

As the studies continue to roll in, we’re learning more and more about social media and the way it affects our society.

Just last year, Facebook’s former vice president for user growth, Chamath Palihapitiya, admitted that platforms like Facebook were “ripping apart the social fabric of how society works,”; and even the social media giant’s founding president, Sean Parker, admits that social media developers knowingly exploit the vulnerable human psyche.

Social media has become a powerful force all its own, but it appears to be a double edged sword. While it has the ability to bring people together from around the world, it also has the power to alienate and isolate us from the people that matter most.

Over 1.2 billion people spend an average of 90 minutes each day on platforms like Facebook. These are are husbands, our wives, our siblings, our neighbors; these are the people on the other side of the globe and the people we go to school with.

Social media is everywhere and it seems to have infiltrated every aspect of our lives. As the studies continue to mount and the evidence continues to grow, it’s clear — we have to find a new way to engage with social media or risk destroying ourselves and our future.

Ask your doctor if social media is right for you.

We traditionally don’t think of products and services as having side effects, but just like medication can manifest some nasty reactions in our bodies, social media can manifest some nasty side effects in our lives.

While social media definitely has some tangible benefits, we’re beginning to learn more about the substantial downsides of frequent social media use.

Most of us log-on to try to find ourselves through our connections with others.

We’re looking for a sense of belonging when we use social media; we’re looking for self-expression, inspiration and curiosity. We want to connect with long lost friends and make new ones on the other side of the globe.

While sharing our lives online can enhance our confidence and feeling of connection, it can also reinforce some negative and corrosive qualities and behaviors. Thanks to the rewards-based feedback loop giants like Facebook use, you can find yourself literally addicted to social, going to extremes to get the “likes” and comments you need to score that next dopamine hit.

Social media can also generate envy, one of the nastier human emotions and one that is all too easy to cultivate. The envy generated from social media can turn friendships into rivalry and love into grudges, as it tugs us to compare ourselves constantly to an endless barrage of “highlight reels”.

Studies have shown that when we spend a significant amount of time on platforms like Facebook, our wellbeing actually worsens, causing us to develop feelings of alienation, isolation and even hopelessness, anxiety and depression. Social media triggers our emotions through carefully calculated and crafted programming, which damages the healing power of our inter-personal relationships and makes us feel worthless.

When you become trapped inside a social media suck-hole, you can lose yourself and your passion for life. Social media overuse is dangerous and leads to negative-self comparison and even detraction from life experiences.

Reining in the bucking bronco.

Social media is not all bad, though. While there are some definite downsides to using social media too much, it can help us connect in powerful and undeniable ways.

Apps like Facebook and Twitter allow us to stay connected with family and friends around the globe and connect with other like-minded people in ways that generate real innovation and change.

Being able to share our personal journeys is a beautiful thing, and it can enhance our feelings of well-being and support. The secret is learning when enough is enough and how you can use social media in mindful ways that are beneficial rather than harmful.

The mindful social media practices that will make you happier.

Integrating mindfulness into your social media practices is a lot easier than it sounds. It’s all about setting your intention and moving forward in a positive way, and all it takes is a few simple tweaks.

Getting Started:

1. Define what you want from your social media experiences.

Before you engage with social media take a second to close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Consider what it is you want from your social media experience. Do you want to connect with friends? Do you want to make sure you can stay in touch with distant family?

Honestly define what you want from your social media and set your intention to a positive one. Remember: you have to start positive to end positive.

2. Stay present in the moment.

We’re not happy when we’re obsessively focused on the future or the past. Focusing on anything but the present moment causes us to feel out of control and causes negativity. Remember to stay present in the moment and engaged as you use social media. Don’t get lost on the timeline haze.

3. Clean up your feeds.

Everyone is guilty of accepting that friend or two that you don’t really know. It can feel good to have a Friends list that is packed to the rafters, but being bombarded with all that social comparison and / or Negative Nancy posting can really bring us down.

Take the time to clean up your feed and remove those who post negative content regularly.

Consciously follow only the people and things that bring joy to your life and don’t waste your time on people that have zero impact on the things going on in your real life.

Get rid of those girls that make you envious. Get rid of that uncle that posts racist rants. Life is negative enough as it is without piling it on when we’re trying to unwind on social media. Clean up your feed and find some peace in your life again.

As you post:

4. Focus on the process not the outcome.

When we post things to social media — more often than not — we’re looking for validation in the form of “likes”. The more likes we get, the more worthwhile we feel as a person, and when we don’t get those likes? Well, it doesn’t feel great.

Let go of that idea that you need to get a certain number of interactions on the content you create. The number of likes you get has nothing to do with who you are, how attractive you are or how valuable you are as a friend. People pay for likes. They literally mean nothing!

Be aware when of what gets you caught up in the likes game. Are you comparing the amount of interactions you get against others? Notice what triggers you and have the confidence to post the things that truly represent you. Remind yourself before you post, that your worth isn’t based on what others think of it.

5. Put positivity into the timeline.

Social media can be a great place to post things that are important, but sometimes we can get too caught up in all the negative things that are going on out there.

Instead of engaging in arguments or negative conversations that drain your energy, make it habit to express gratitude and positivity on your timeline. Take some time to spread some love and good vibes and you’ll be surprised at how much you get in return.

Sure, bad things happen, but we don’t have to make them the focal point of our lives. Ensure that you share your light (and the light of others) with the world by sharing the stories that can lift us up, as well as the stories that make you think.

6. Cultivate a zen response to criticism.

If you’re on social media, you’re going to get criticized; that’s just the way it works.

When you receive a negative comment or reaction from someone, take a second to reflect on it before responding. Is it true? Is it constructive? Chances are — it isn’t. Detach from your ego and be honest with yourself.

The best response is no response at all, but if you have to respond, do so with forgiveness and a quick delete. Engaging with that kind of public negativity hardly ever goes well, so don’t do it. Keep your power and maintain your peace by turning the other cheek and adopting a zen attitude to the critics.

The Scroll-a-Thon:

7. Adopt a non-judgmental stance.

As humans, we can be really judgey creatures. We judge everything from the way others look to the way they look at us. We’re hateful from time to time and it takes a lot of conscious effort to phase out the habit.

Remind yourself of the consequences of being judgey. When you constantly think negatively of others, it makes you feel bad and only goes to amplify your own insecurities.

Negative thoughts always equate to negative feelings. If you want to feel good, you need to drop the judgement. When you catch yourself judging someone, try to look for the good in them instead. You might be surprised by what you find. You’ll definitely be surprised by how much better you feel.

8. Turn your envy into inspiration.

If you’re someone (like me) that suffers from major social media envy, try converting that negative energy into positive energy by going from envious to inspired.

Instead of trying to look down on others, look up to them. Look at what they have achieved and think about how you can achieve the same things. If they can achieve great things, so can you.

9. Learn how to identify and switch the narrative.

As we scroll through our feeds and see the “incredible” lives of our “friends”, our minds can start telling us some pretty ridiculous stories.

You can log on with the best of intentions, but it doesn’t take long before your brain starts telling you how garbage you are compared to everyone else in the world. As you’re scrolling through your feed, take note of these stories your brain is making up and ask yourself if they are helpful or harmful.

Don’t judge yourself or get frustrated when you find these negative stories starting to bubble up. Instead, learn how to redirect them into more positive or constructive ideas.

Instead of thinking, “I’m not good enough,” try thinking, “I could be better. How can I improve myself so I can feel better than I do right now?”

Learning how to control your thoughts will allow you experience the inevitable highs and lows of social media without the stress and pressure; making your experience a more enjoyable and mindful one.

Being curious about the mind and the way we develop our thoughts and beliefs is imperative for our continued growth and elevation. Notice the negative thoughts when they start and get a handle on them before they get a handle on you.

10. Be authentic.

However you use social media strive — in all that you post or interact with — to be your true, unadulterated and authentic self.

It can be tempting to join in on the “personal branding” craze, but you can lose your personal truth when you get caught up in the plasticine image. Don’t focus on maintaining a persona, don’t focus on projecting some boss b*tch; be authentic with how and what you post and you’ll feel better about your experience as a whole.

Talk about the things that really matter to you and don’t be pressured into communicating anything other than what’s in your heart. Ego tweets are based around agendas and that can alienate us and leave us stuck in a negative social media experience.

Be true to yourself and be present in the process. If you need advice or support, ask for it and be honest about why you need it.

Putting it all together…

Sometimes, the greatest lesson we can learn is that less is actually enough. We live in a time when connections online seem commodities, but it’s alienating us from the true experience of life and it’s alienating us from our authentic selves.

By being more mindful about the ways we interact in the social media realms, we can create connections that change our lives and change the world. When we learn how to take a step back, assess our intentions and our responses online, we can identify what we need and don’t need from our social media experience.

Detach yourself from the likes and the need for a positive outcome every time you post on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter. Adopt a zen approach to social media, be authentic, and learn how to identify the negative reactions that certain posts from specific people can elicit.

Having a positive and mindful social media experience isn’t hard. It’s just about fostering a sense of awareness and a focus on positivity. Ground yourself and create a social media practice that works for your mental and emotional health. There’s a real world out there living and breathing around you. Don’t forget to enjoy it from time to time.