My ITAN Snippets
Mind: Your Business
The foundation of everything lies between your eyes
2020 feels like the turning point of an apocalyptic world.
First, a brief demo of World War III, then a series of Australian wildfires and now an ongoing pandemic that’s forced human civilization into lockdown.
And just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse — I mean almost everyone’s at home right now, nothing else should be happening now, right? Wrong! — you get different Gbas Gbos hits from social media; racism today, sexual violence tomorrow, drastic shifts in societal structures…the horror never seems to end!
Right now we all seem to be trying to stay afloat during these trying times. For me, that meant purchasing a weekly dose of Pepsi and investing a significant chunk of mobile data on Strange Planet comics and punny memes (laughter always has been a good medicine).
But as you might have guessed, these aren’t exactly healthy coping mechanisms, and suppressing mental expressions under thick ‘‘I’m doing fine’’ shells ends up doing more harm than good in the long run.
So here’s a quip from ITAN’s third seminar, featuring medical doctor and health enthusiast – Aproko Doctor, on prioritizing mental awareness and wellness in a seemingly apocalyptic world.
Here’s my five-point review of what the Doctor had to say…
- Introspection Is Key
‘‘You need to be aware of how you feel.’’
Imagine a second entity — someone as close as a best friend or lover — you know their likes and dislikes, their dreams and fears, every itty bitty fragment that makes them who they are. Now imagine that person as you.
I think the greatest strength a human can truly possess is the power of self awareness.
I take introspection very seriously, in fact, I occasionally have conversations with myself in front of the mirror (of course this is when everyone else is out. Wouldn’t want to awaken the African parent in my mother); reviewing what’s currently important to me and assessing my overall state of being.
The first step to minding your mind is knowing exactly what’s on it.
2. Find Your Outlet
Following up from the first tip, what’s your outlet for introspection?
In addition to my self-reflection (both in the literal and figurative sense), I sometimes get a blank sheet of paper and go full-blown three-year-old by being violent with (colored) pens on paper and when the toddler within me mellows down, I journal my thoughts.
Some people have punching bags as their outlet (working those biceps while venting anger at bad network sounds like a win-win to me), others listen to music but to be honest, nothing beats genuine conversations.
‘‘There is a reason solitude is harmful and used as a punishment in prisons. Humans are relational in nature.
We need to interact to survive.’’
People who recognize and consider your feelings, fears, faiths, and values as valid, are your safe spaces. Talk to — and with — them.
You need them as much as they need you.
3. You Are Where You Live
‘‘Your immediate environment might be a direct reflection of your state of mind. You cannot rise above your environment — control it!’’
With a decade-old stack of laundry, cluttered workspace, and ‘ornamental’ cobwebs hanging from the ceiling…for many of us, the ability to find peace of mind is like getting a dog to catch a tossed stick — farfetched.
Managing your environment is undoubtedly one of the most significant steps to take on your mindfulness journey.
You can’t be claiming Zen when living in a home that looks like it’s been visited by The Flash. Your outward environment (plus car, social media, E-mail…) is a direct reflection of your state of mind.
So wanna be more chill?
Well, start by doing your laundry, purging your applications list, and get a pretty aloe plant while you’re at it.
4. Observe A Social (Media) Distance
‘‘There should be a time of the day where you switch off all social media. Connect with actual people! The trending topics would still be there when you come back. Focus on what really matters.’’
Being a social media wallflower has its perks. To be honest, my only (real) link to the outside world is via my WhatsApp platform (which I’m trying to visit sparingly nowadays as well).
There’s hardly ever any good news in the first place so rather than become overwhelmed with conspiracy theories of the likelihood of Armageddon, why not focus on aspects that really matter?
This isn’t to say you should be unaware of what’s going on in the world, but rather it’s a prompt to limit that negativity overload and foster what’s going on within and around you.
Connect with your family (you know…those people that you share a home with…well, they still exist), hang out with friends, walk your pet and most importantly reconnect with yourself; unearth buried talents, build healthy habits, drink more water! (This is me also reminding myself).
5. Manage Your Expectations
‘‘Life happens.
Keep moving.’’
‘‘Kemi, where do you see yourself in five years?’’ I recall Ade asking me sometime in 2015,
‘‘Well…’’ I hesitated a bit reviewing big answers, ‘‘…I’m going to be in a big house and have a big fountain and have a small Chihuahua as a pet.’’
Here I am, five years down the line; still living in my parent’s house, with my ‘fountain’ being three 1500L Storex tanks and my Chihuahua being an eighteen-month-old Basenji named ‘Boy’ (not the brightest name but well he answers), so yeah I’d say things didn’t really go as planned (now that I think of it, I never actually DID plan in the first place).
Many of us from the 2015 set should be on the road to graduation right now or at least have a couple of months down the line, but here we are trying to be trending on Twitter or attempting to ration Netflix episodes to avoid completing the season (I tried it for Money Heist, it still ended in tears).
Life really will humble you. You could have everything planned out, down to the simplest detail, and then BAM! you get hit by something you never even saw coming (A global pandemic that put many lives on hold?! Like who’d have ever figured).
However, instead of brooding over how things turned out (and wondering what will happen to Professor), follow Molly Weis’ advice…
‘‘When something goes wrong in your life just yell ‘PLOT TWIST’, and move on.’’
Also, remember to appreciate every little part of your story. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, ‘‘Life is a journey, not a destination.’’
Enough of focusing on the night’s darkness instead of its stars.
Quit beating yourself up over things that are outside of your control and getting depressed for finding it hard to handle the things that are.
Realize that ‘‘being’’ is enough.
Simply being better than you were yesterday is enough.
Managing yourself mentally is enough.
Investing in knowing yourself and all those you consider important IS enough.
Your mind should be your (number one) business during these times.
So focus on it my friend…focus on you!