Mind Games People Play to Keep you Emotionally Attached

Have you ever felt that a specific relationship affected your unique abilities and personality traits, but you did not realize it while in that relationship?

This is the topic on which I wanted to write for a long time. Many of us are in relationships or have experienced in the past when we lost our unique abilities, self-worth, and value without even recognizing it.

Many people have excessive control over their lives and want to maintain that control directly or indirectly. The terrifying aspect of such people is their claim of “Loving.” It would help if you were heard in your relationships that they are doing harsh acts for your good.

I know more than you, that’s why I can decide better.

You do not know the world; you cannot make the right decisions.

You do not know how to do it; let me handle it.

You cannot do anything good for you; let me take care.

People start to get close to you by showing a great deal of affection and love. Let us accept that we all need love and care at some point in our lives and believe in people who give us care and respect.

However, for many people, these things are like steps to get close to you and take control over you.

Let’s discuss some critical behavior or mind games that people can play to keep you attached to them.

1. Love Bombing

Have you ever experienced a particular person loving you in a very short time? And you probably made me think that “it could be destiny.”

Well, let me tell you that your first intuition was correct. It is a term called “Love bombing.” It happens because people push too far to gain attention or control your emotions and feelings.

For example, if a person is telling you that they have never met someone like you, or they fell in love at first sight or similar things, but in reality, they do not know anything about your life.

As I mentioned, our desire to be loved and have dreamy partners makes our judgment cloudy, and we start believing in those words. We all have a deep desire to have a partner in madly love with us, and this desire makes us feel those words.

There are many ways of love bombing someone’s life,

1. Showing obsession or love in a very short period.

2. Making lifetime plans and setting your future together while they know very little about current you.

3. They are not interested in knowing your personality, likings, or dislikes but try to onboard you with their plans.

4. They start criticizing small things to show how much they care for you.

5. They start interfering in your friend circle or family matters without knowing your desires or boundaries.

These are familiar mind games that a person can use to make you feel emphatic and flattered with love. A person can overwhelm you with love and gain emotional control over you.

How do you counter?

Remember to look for actions instead of words. Primarily, people with this behavior have nothing to offer in actuality. They do want to make any actual efforts or plans and overwhelm you with excessive feelings and words.

Always look for actual actions and go with your intuition. Do not let your desire to be loved fool you or cloud your judgment.

2. Fluctuation in Attention and Love

Another dirty mind trick people can play on you is fluctuation in love and attention. They become unpredictable in their emotion. Once they made you believe that no one in the world loves and cares for you more than them with love bombing. They use the technique of ghosting you from time to time.

Let’s understand that love and attention is like a drug. Just like a drug addict cannot live with his daily drugs, a person who has been exposed to excessive love and attention cannot live without it. Humans start to crave that attention and face emotional imbalance when there is a change in concentration.

It is the dirtiest mind trick that people like to play. They do this because they do not love you or care for you. They show excessive love and attention to control you, and once they have taken control, they like to play with emotions.

Research shows that:

Narcissism (or egoism) refers to a tendency to behave predominantly self-centeredly. Genuine concern for the feelings and needs of others is almost absent. Instead, selfish individuals seem to view others as little more than objects for manipulation (Pavica Sheldon et al., 2019)

Because of their self-centered personality, they cannot give constant love or attention to anyone. They start to see flaws according to their perception, and because they do not value the opinion of anyone but themselves, they would never discuss anything.

How do you counter?

Always remember your worth and value. Keep your judgment on self-worth. A person playing a mind game only wants you to lose your individuality and uniqueness and mold yourself according to them.

Set your boundaries according to your own beliefs, values, and work. Do not let anyone break those boundaries. Remember, a person who truly loves and cares for you will help you to flourish within those boundaries.

3. Gaining Sympathy

People who like to play mind games always go for sympathy gain. Humans always empathize with someone with a problem or facing hardships in life. It is essential to things to do. We should always be ready to help people, but there is a clear difference in the behavior of people who repeatedly use sympathy for their benefit.

These people play the victim in every situation due to their self-centered personality and always blame you or someone else for the position or complications. By being victims, they always ask and look for extra favors. They demand more in relationships and are willing to give significantly less, putting their victim story ahead.

They make you feel guilty over small things by repeating your mistakes. This behavior creates a feeling of guilt and emotional imbalance in the person. It can also overwhelm you with small things, and you start emotionally relying on others.

How do you counter?

This mind game becomes tricky to deal with. Because if you go and confront a person who has told you your victim story, you will always face ethical and moral questions. They will make you feel like you have no heart or emotions and do not support them in their hard times.

In actuality, you are always giving in a relationship and keeping your own needs and emotions aside.

Always have excellent and clear communication with people. Communicate your own needs and limits without any hesitation. I always recommend that you only push back yourself a little to create space for someone else. Maintain good communication to keep them aware of your needs and wants for equality.

Conclusion

There can be a few behavior signs or mind games that people can play to control you emotionally. These people like to be centered in every relationship and want to take control over you. In most cases, they are not looking for any benefit, and being in control satisfies their ego.

Always know your worth and value. Be willing to give your complete in any relationship but always maintain your individuality and uniqueness on any terms. Actual relations never make you feel guilty, ashamed, or inferior.

Learn to evaluate people based on their actions instead of words. Acts tell every intention crystal clear.

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