Millennials don’t listen to you | here’s how to change it

“If you know any lazy millennials who are in need of work, call the number below.” Immediately after reading this, his offensive flyer put me in a defensive position. When he gave me this, I was completely caught off guard. Somehow, despite his inability to market and unawareness of social dynamics, he was a successful business owner. After handing me the flyer, he went on and on speaking about how millennials are lazy and don’t listen.

Are you kidding me? The small town that I live in is racially diverse, but when it comes to beliefs, there’s hardly any diversification. In southern Louisiana, the biggest split in belief is between the elder and the youth. This guy was older and had an obvious distaste for the youth. And while he doesn’t represent his entire demographic, he definitely mirrors a large portion of them. It is people like this guy who are frustrated with millennials and claim that they want to inspire millennials to do better. If you would like to millennial influence here are a few tips

Play The patient game: building relationships

If you cold-approach someone with all guns blazing, chances are you will be met with resistance. The key to opening the influential door to someone’s mind is to build a relationship. The undeniable fact that we choose friends based on commonality, is a revelation that relationships are built by relating, not opposing.

Although it is okay to oppose the opinions of others, imposing our ideas on them is an entirely different story. Approaching and imposing is the strategy of those who are unsuccessful in building relationships with millennials. Getting a few words off of your chest may be temporarily satisfying but may instantly create permanent resistance. Resisting the egotistical urge to impose will possibly prevent the millennial from having a defensive mind against all of your ideas.

For this reason, it is important to be relatable, not imposing. Being relatable is the gateway to the relationship. Relationships are the parents of influence. Do you have any kids? A spouse maybe? Chances are your relationships with your kids or spouse put you in a position to have an influence over them.

Influence or dictation

During my time as a forklift operator, I worked with an older woman named Ashley. Apparently, after overhearing Ashley’s conversation at lunch, I knew she had a disagreement with Emily, a young enthusiastic employee. Ashley said “These slutty young girls just don’t listen. She needs to stop dressing that way at work.” Despite Emily not being in violation of the dress code policy, Ashley took a dislike to her attire.

Here Ashley makes a common error made by several “old-heads.” “The slutty young girls just don’t listen.” What Ashely really meant to say was “ The slutty young girls just don’t obey.”

Yes. What Ashley desires is not a listening ear, but instead a millennial slave who will obey her every command. It is safe to say that Ashely doesn’t want influence but dictation.

Breaking news: This is a democracy. Despite your desire to rule, you cannot dictate the actions and mindsets of others. Ashley’s aim to be an influence was only a mask to cover her dictating desires. If you really care, aim to be an influencer; not a dictator.

Intend to be listened to. Not obeyed

Now that the ugly desire to dictate someone’s life has been removed, there’s a possibility of building an enjoyable relationship with your new potential friend. If you’d like to be listened to, what is the most powerful thing you can do to attract a listening ear? Simple, become a listener. Despite the simplicity of this concept, listening is a difficult task for many of the elders.

The most unattractive mistake that you can make in any relationship is over-talking and under-listening. Despite your knowledge, in a friendly setting, no one wants to sit and extensively listen to your five-minute talk. Over-talking only increases the gap between you and all millennials. Not listening, on the other hand, closes the possibility of others’ receptivity to your words. Simply put, if you don’t listen you won’t be listened to.

My former boss, Gilbert, was a master of listening. Because he listened to the words of others, he was able to create the perception of being a caring person. Because of this, when he finally decided to speak, everyone listened. The fact that his words were scarce, gave his voice a higher sense of importance.

Disagreement and individuality

As a younger male, I’ve been approached plenty of times by agitated elders. The scenario seems ever so familiar. They’ve heard something about my beliefs that contradicts their own, and approach me with the sheer intention of kicking my cherished beliefs out of the ballpark and making a mandatory installation of their beliefs in my young brain. The elder, in desperate need for a successful conversion, has stepped onto my playing field in an offensive position only later to be offended by my reply.

Disagreement, an undeniable sign of human individuality, is often met with a heavy frown, a loudmouth, and at times a closed fist. Open your fist, and widen your eyes to the beauty that comes with individuality. The intentional individualization of ourselves gives a sense of importance and a layer of beauty. It is the fact that we can be one humanity but not one mind that makes everyone special. However, some seem to specialize in un-individualizing others and demoting them from individual to human clone.

It is humanity’s conscious individualization that gives birth to an abundance of opportunities. Every company needs its janitors, presidents, and order fillers. If all individuals were cloned to occupy only one position, no company would function out of sheer imbalance. If there was one personality, we wouldn’t be so selective of our friendships or look forward to the dating scene. If there was only one face, one color, one body, we would all pass up mirrors and abandon the modern selfie.

It is the clouded lens of the ego that blocks the view of beauty that we each behold. We must take off the clouded lens, welcome disagreement, and respect human individualization.