Summary

Millennials are increasingly distancing themselves from organized religion, particularly the church, due to perceived hypocrisy, lack of alignment with personal values, and experiences of exclusion and judgment.

Abstract

The article discusses a significant trend among Millennials away from church attendance and organized religion. This shift is attributed to a disconnect between the values preached by the church and the actions of its members, as well as the church's response to social issues such as homosexuality and teen pregnancy. The author, Nicole Dake, shares personal anecdotes and cites research indicating that Millennials are finding community and moral guidance outside of traditional religious structures. The church's focus on belief and compliance over kindness and compassion has led many to seek alternative forms of spirituality or to identify as non-religious. The article suggests that the church has strayed from the teachings of love and inclusivity exemplified by Jesus, contributing to its declining appeal among younger generations.

Opinions

The author left the church not due to a rejection of religion itself but because of the church's failure to practice its own teachings and the hypocrisy observed within the congregation.
Millennials, including the author, have witnessed the church's unkind treatment of individuals who do not conform to its doctrines, such as those who are LGBTQ+ or have experienced sexual assault.
The church is no longer seen as the moral compass or social hub it once was, with Millennials finding connection and community elsewhere.
The author believes that the church has lost its way from the core teachings of Jesus, which emphasize love and compassion over judgment and exclusion.
There is a sentiment that the church's current state is antithetical to the values it purports to uphold, and this dissonance is a driving factor in Millennials' departure from the church.
The article suggests that the church's failure to adapt and address the real-world concerns and intellectual doubts of younger generations has led to a loss of authenticity and relevance.
The author expresses a personal commitment to not returning to the church and to raising their children without its influence, indicating a firm stance against the church's perceived shortcomings.
The piece concludes with a strong rebuke of the church's current trajectory, suggesting that its failure to reflect the teachings of love and acceptance may lead to its downfall, with the responsibility lying with the older generations who currently lead it.

Millennials are Leaving the Church in Droves

Religion has lost it’s moral high ground.

I didn’t leave the church because of religion, I left the church because of people who don’t understand or practice their own religion.

I got into a discussion with a friend about religion yesterday, and it turns out that we both grew up in a Southern Baptist church. Now, he is an atheist, and I am a Buddhist.

Why?

We both experienced the hypocrisy of the church today and turned away. Millennials in general are in churches less than our parents, even if many of us had a religious upbringing.

Millennials Are In Church Less

This phenomenon is not new, it has been happening for almost a decade now. Since I grew up in the church, I used to occasionally attend church functions with my mom to placate her over the years. Last time I went, I noticed such a huge difference from when I was at church when I was younger.

There were mostly older people at church. When I was growing up it was filled with families with little kids. There were rooms full of Sunday School kids. But now, the church where I grew up only has one Sunday School class, and sometimes no kids show up.

According to a recent article from CNBC,

A Pew Research Center survey, released earlier this month, found 29% of U.S. adults said they had no religious affiliation, an increase of 6 percentage points from 2016, with millennials leading that shift. A growing number of Americans said they are also praying less often. About 32% of those polled by the Pew Research from May 29 to Aug. 25 said they seldom or never pray. That’s up from 18% of those polled by the group in 2007.

This is a sweeping change from years ago, where everyone seemed to go to church. The church is no longer the social hub of the community, and people are finding connection elsewhere.

As Millennials are marrying and having children, these life transitions aren’t bringing us “back into the fold” as happened with our parents either. According to Five Thirty Eight,

For much of the country’s history, religion was seen as an obvious resource for children’s moral and ethical development. But many young adults no longer see religion as a necessary or even desirable component of parenting. Less than half (46 percent) of millennials believe it is necessary to believe in God to be moral. They’re also much less likely than Baby Boomers to say that it’s important for children to be brought up in a religion so they can learn good values (57 percent vs. 75 percent).

If other Millennials are anything like myself, they may have struggled with telling their parents that they weren’t going to take their kids to church. In my case, this has to do with religion espousing many moral viewpoints that are in direct opposition to my own.

How To Tell Your Mother You Aren’t Going To Take The Kids To Church.

It can be a struggle to tell your parents their beliefs aren’t yours.

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Why Are Millennials Leaving the Church

In my case, I left the church because I felt like it no longer aligned with my values. One of the things that I value most is treating others with kindness. I feel like the way you treat other people is more important than what you believe.

The church stresses belief and compliance over kindness and compassion.

In my teen years, I saw several of my close friends asked to leave the church, and that left scars. One of my girlfriends got raped and was pregnant. She asked the church leaders for help, and they ushered her quietly out the back door. Same thing for a friend who came out as gay.

According to the Washington Post, some reasons that Millennials are leaving the church are:

Some of us are turning to convenient, low-commitment substitutes for faith and fellowship: astrology, the easy “spiritualism” of yoga and self-care, posting away on Twitter and playing more games.

According to another article by Charles Samuel, Millennials value authenticity and purpose, which they aren’t finding in the church.

The admonishment and disconnect of modern churches often run deep.

36% of millennials can’t ask “pressing life questions” in church

23% believe they can’t express “intellectual doubts” regarding faith

17% feel judged in church because of mistakes they’ve made

25% believe the church demonizes things that happen/exist outside church

22% believe the church ignores the problems happening in the world around them

33% leave church entirely because of their discriminatory and hateful teachings regarding gay Christians and homosexuality in general

Many other Millennials, like me, believe that the church no longer represents our values in ways that are meaningful. We want to be kind to others, we want to make the world better, and we value inclusion.

Millennials are a cohort that believes every person truly matters. Ok, so you might think that this is the default setting for churches. Because, you know. Jesus would want it to be and stuff.

It should be the default setting. It often isn’t.

This point right here is critical. Millennials are leaving the church because the church has lost the values that Jesus taught.

Jesus taught us, “30Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.” (Mark 12:30–31)

The church doesn’t do that anymore.

The church doesn’t love people the way that Jesus loved people. The church doesn’t love people the way that we love people. And we can’t accept that.

Several of the other articles I read talk about how to get Millennials back to church. Personally though, I am not going back. I am not taking my kids back.

I think the song “Same Love” by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis says it best:

When I was at church they taught me something else If you preach hate at the service, those words aren’t anointed That holy water that you soak in has been poisoned

Millennials aren’t going to drink your poison anymore. Hate isn’t what religion is supposed to be about. But that is what it has been reduced to. I refuse to associate myself with that, and I am not alone.

Christianity is going to fail.

You all are like the tax collectors in the temple way back when, when Jesus overturned the tables and kicked them out. You have turned into the very thing that your own supposed savior preached against.

You want to know why the church is failing? It isn’t Millennials. Just look in the mirror religious Boomers, your reason is there.

❤ Nicole

Be well until next time my friends. If you are new to my writing, find out more about me in my profile!

Hi, I’m Nicole Dake.

My Profile — March 2022

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