Mighty Micro-Power of BitCoin

How the Vatican janitor capitalized on the Pope

This is a fictional story which highlights the coming revolution in micro-payments, thanks to the emergence of BitCoin. It will really solidify for you, why BitCoin is exciting for the world over the next 20 years, as it dominates ad-based and subscription-based business models.

“…in an instant I felt above a hundred arrows discharged on my left hand, which, pricked me like so many needles; and besides, they shot another flight into the air, as we do bombs in Europe, whereof many, I suppose, fell on my body… When this shower of arrows was over, I fell a groaning with grief and pain; and then striving again to get loose, they discharged another volley larger than the first…in my thoughts I could not sufficiently wonder at the intrepidity of these diminutive mortals” — Gulliver, in Lilliput

Pope Pugnacious the First

Gordoni [3] is a night-shift janitor in the Vatican. Being the senior-most night-shift janitor, and therefore given the top pick for which room he wished to clean, he chose the Cistine Chapel. It was there he quietly and dutifully mopped the floor in the far corner, when Pope Paul-John himself, accompanied by Bishop Rocco, entered the room in a heated discussion. Intrigued, and wishing to show his wife Nickelsia the drama, he swiftly drew his iPhone from his pocket and began recording the kerfuffle! [5]

With the Cistine Chapel’s vacuous size, Gordoni couldn’t make out any words in the heated exchange, but 20 seconds after be began recording, Pope Paul-John hauled-off and tolchocked [4] the Bishop Rocco square in the jaw. Being a holy man, the Bishop turned the other cheek, and left the Chapel. Pope Paul-John, still infuriated, began screaming utmost profanities at the walls, not realizing Gordoni was in the room. After shouting “every word in the book” at the walls, he then also left the Chapel.

First Rule of Catholic Club: Don’t Beat the Bishop — it’s not good for your soul.

After the night shift was over, Gordoni showed his wife the video, as she always loved her husband’s stories about any Vatican drama. Repeating those stories over tea, made her very popular with her friends, particularly her very chatty friend Cathy. Well this video was a million times better than anything her husband had ever brought to her before! She couldn’t believe it, and knew immediately this was far more juicy than just tea-time gossip — everyone in the world would want to see this!

After Nickelsia showed Chatty Cathy the video, Cathy convinced her to sell the video to the pope-parazzi — always buzzing around Vatican City looking for shots of the Pope and his entourage. After consulting the biggest paparazzi in the city, Mario Luigi, Nickelsia & Gordoni were given a price of $30,000. They went home to consider if this was the best option, when they ran into their industrious bitcoiny, mathematical friend Michaelangelo. “Mike” watched the video on Gordoni’s phone and his jaw dropped. When he recovered he said “$30,000 is chicken scratch, a billion people will want to watch this”. Mike told the couple to go home, and he’d come back with some math for them.

The next morning, Mike came to Gordoni’s flat with his spreadsheet app to show them what he’d calculated. It showed that if they could put the video on YouTube, Gordoni would only gain followers there, and YouTube’s terms of service would encourage Gordoni to find hundreds more videos like this, and after building up a few hundred thousand followers after a couple years, might make a modest living from finding amazing videos to show. But Gordoni would lose his job in the meantime, for violating the Vatican’s strict privacy bylaws for workers in the Vatican.

Next the three of them considered building a new website to host the video themselves, and sell the minute long clip for a small chunk of money. This is where Mike’s keen mind shined. He had figured out that at $9.99, not many people in the world would pay for a 1 minute clip, even if it was juicy, they’d just suffice hearing about the story by word of mouth. He then decided that even at $1.00 this was also the case, even tho more people would watch at that price. The previous night, he had polled all his nieghbors which amount of money would be trivial to spend, such that just about anyone would want to SEE the video of the Pope beating his Bishop. After much trial and error, he arrived at $0.09. Not a single person he asked, balked at paying $0.09 to see an incredible video like that, even his friends who didn’t care about the Pope. So he then set about calculating the profit Gordoni and his wife could make, and how to collect the money.

By Mike’s calculations, at 8 billion people on the earth, that made for about 2.2 billion families. About 10% of those families lived below the poverty line, and were without smartphones or payment means to watch a 60 second video online. But at 2 billion families, times $0.09, that was $180 million dollars in revenues available for this viralest of viral vid clips. But what about the costs?

Michaelangelo figured zero dollars would need to be spent on marketing, as the viral nature of the clip would take care of that. He figured a few thousand dollars would take care of creating a website to host the video, and www.BeatingTheBishop.com was available! What about payment costs tho? He looked up how Mastercharge worked, and found, unfortunately, that they required $0.30 per transaction from a newb commercial website, and that didn’t even factor-in what Stripe or Square might charge above that amount — typically 2–5%. A pricetag of $0.09 wasn’t even possible, he’d have to charge $0.39 just to cover the per transaction price, and then he’d be left with about 95% of $0.09, but at $0.39 he calculated only 10% of the 2 billion families would buy it — most going back to word-of-mouth method of hearing the news. It was just a clowny punch in the Cistine Chapel, after all.

$0.08 x 200 million families isn’t so bad though — $16 million! Far better than the $30,000 the top pope-a-razzi was offering. But that left $164 million on the table! Even Mastercharge would make almost 4 times as much as he did. That’s not fair! It was then, a sharp friend named Eolio came to visit. Eolio had been spending his days writing definitions for this new website called SLictionary.com. It was a dictionary, which paid creatives called “WordSmiths” to write definitions for BitCoin micro-payments. Eolio was winning “Word Bounties” for certain words put up by WordBaron patrons who wanted to own definitions in SLictionary. Owning definitions was attractive because each time someone liked a definition, the owner of that definition made 7/10th of a penny! This lilliputian amount of money was only possible because this payment system called “BitCoin” only charged about 1/1,000th of a penny per transaction. Eolio was confident that as traffic built-up on SLictionary, his quality-made definitions could earn over $1,000 per year. Eolio had written hundreds of definitions by the time he visited Gordoni’s house, and was the perfect serenditious visitor to help finish the cost calculation problem which was stumping Michaelangelo.

The simplest place to earn some BitCoin (SV)

“This is 2025!”, Eolio quipped. “Why wouldn’t you just use BitCoin?!?! Everyone has it now!” BitCoin had recently achieved some level of breakout fame, due to a man named Craig Wright winning all his copyright lawsuits against the hucksters who had bogarted his copyrighted brand name back in 2017–2023. But starting in 2024, the ticker symbol “BSV” was the only digital commodity allowed to carry the worldwide-known “BitCoin” moniker, and this had vaulted BitCoin into the limelight. By 2025, everyone indeed was experimenting with BSV wallets. Why wouldn’t they? A BSV wallet was as simple and quick as a download on an iPhone, and one could simply go to SLictionary’s “Word Bounty [1, 2] or similar websites and earn a few pennies or dollars of BSV for doing lilliputian-sized 5 minute jobs.

If Gordoni used BitCoin, he could charge the $0.09, get 2 billion families to watch the video, and make $0.09 x 2 billion minus $0.0001 x 2 billion. $179.8 million — the mother lode!

So that’s just what Gordoni, Nickelia, Mike, and Eolio did, and they all lived happily ever after.

God bless BitCoin!

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If this story of BitCoin meant something to you:

If you can, please inspire the author to write more by sending $0.0899 or some other token of appreciation to $JOHNPITTS or the accompanying paymail address: [email protected], so that he can also live happily ever after. Thanks for reading!

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[0] Gulliver’s Travels by Jonathan Swift