Summary

The article discusses the pervasive issues of sexism, sexual harassment, and transactional relationships in West African society, particularly affecting women.

Abstract

The author reflects on personal and societal experiences of gender inequality in West Africa, highlighting the systemic sexism that hinders women's advancement and the normalization of transactional relationships due to poverty and power imbalances. The piece underscores the societal pressure on women to marry and bear children, the objectification of women by wealthy men, and the prevalent belief that women are inferior to men, which perpetuates cycles of abuse and exploitation. Despite these challenges, the author emphasizes that not all West African men are complicit in these behaviors and calls for enlightenment and education to address these deep-rooted issues.

Opinions

The author believes that poverty in West Africa contributes significantly to the objectification and exploitation of women, often forcing them into transactional relationships for survival.
There is a critical view of the societal expectation for women to prioritize marriage and childbearing as the pinnacle of their achievements.
The article suggests that many West African men hold sexist views, treating women as subservient and accepting abuse as long as they provide financially.
Wealthy, often older, men are accused of preying on younger, less fortunate women, using their financial status to coerce them into sexual favors.
The author points out that the prevalent ideology in West Africa reinforces gender roles, with women being prepared for domestic roles in their future husbands' homes.
The piece expresses that the objectification and mistreatment of women are not exclusive to poorer classes but are widespread across all societal levels.
The author is critical of the societal acceptance of men's infidelity and abuse, as long as they fulfill their perceived role as the family's financial provider.
There is an opinion that some West African men feel insecure around financially independent women and resort to manipulation and empty flattery to assert dominance.
The author is fortunate not to have been a victim of such exploitation but acknowledges witnessing and experiencing these societal issues to some extent.
The article implies that change is needed in West African society to combat the entrenched gender inequality and power dynamics that disadvantage women.

#MeToo in the West African Landscape

“Can you submit?”

When I was very young, that is, between the ages two to four, my Father fell in financially hard times.

During this period, my father was approached by a man my father’s age… Maybe slightly older, saying that he would ‘help’ my father if he would give up his daughter as a bride to either himself or one of his sons when she grew up.

My father declined.

I am touching on a touchy topic that I know so many West African women might relate to on some level.

In my 27 years of life, I have experienced — in small and major ways — sheer sexism, blatant sexual harassment and unwanted advances that would forever haunt me.

What I am about to write is not exclusive to West African Men. I am not bashing all West African Men, and do not intend to perpetuate any false notion that all West African Men are like this, because that is not the case.

Many others might resonate with this, even though they are not West African. Again, this is not intended to bash, but to enlighten and educate.

In my own homeland, and I would like to believe other West African Women would agree, poverty is rampant. Not only is it rampant, but it also brings a severe divide between the rich and poor, such that, ‘poor’ would be too inadequate a description to convey the impoverishment of the masses.

Those who do hold most of the West African countries’ wealth, tend to be old, toad-looking, obese men. As if that isn’t enough, the profound sexism that pervades our societies impedes the advancement of half of the West African populace — namely, the women — and the countries themselves.

Some sexist examples could be more minute ones such as preventing a child to go to school for the simple fact that she’s female, to the more extreme renderings where she is confined to a promiscuous lifestyle where her string of sugar Daddies cover her daily expenses.

In countries with zero government support, stark unemployment, below minimum wage income, and poorly funded public educational institutions, with a disproportionate ratio of students to teachers; teachers who are often ill-equipped and are too tired or too poor to give a damn; this might seem to be the only option for many West African women — particularly those beneath the poverty line.

Because this is so normalized and many are inured by it, it becomes the consensus in which many West African Men relate with their Women. Whether it has some historical origin or something else that occurred within the colonial era — it is apparent that West African men tend to regard their women as money-hungry, child-rearing, simple-minded, timid, maid-like machines. Provided they (Men) the bread-winners do their part, they convince themselves to have done the bare minimum of being the responsible ‘man of the house’. Therefore, if he cheats, beats or screams, the Woman must accept it. At least, he hasn’t chosen to divorce her.

This real and pervasive ideology manifests itself in the manner previous generations would encourage their women: ‘you better learn how to cook properly for your husband’, or ‘you better know how to do housework’, etc. The ultimate conclusion of these statements are ‘… before you enter your husband’s house’.

By the time the woman hits her twenties, the next thing on her to-do list is to get married. And it’s not a matter of if, but when. The older she gets, the more she is reminded of her impending biological clock doomed to expire, rendering her useless for marriage or unworthy of it. For marriage and child-bearing is the crown of her accomplishments. She is nothing without these.

The Men, of course, are mindful of this fact, and use it to their advantage. They play their part until they make their vows. And then their true colours come out. Thus, their marriages become transactional and loveless — only staying together because West African society frowns upon ‘broken’ homes.

This usually happens to all Women regardless of her class. But it’s worse when she comes from a poorer background, for the unsurprising reason that the odds are not in her favour. This is only compounded when her typically poor parents who perceive their good-looking female child as means out of poverty, by way of marriage to a more fortunate man — usually significantly older — whom she might not be so fortunate to be married to, due to his deplorable character.

These same Men now, having checked all the marks their Parents had expected them to, or those who were simply granted access to innumerable wealth due to nepotism, prey on the less fortunate but often younger and more attractive women, who struggle to survive the daily grind. By this point, many of these men are old and overweight (not always, but often), due to their endless comforts that inequality or simply advantages of having been born from a wealthier background had afforded them over the years, resulting in an expansion of their waistline, to lure women who they would not have otherwise had a chance with, but for the mere fact that they have money, prestige, and power, deem these licenses to take their chances.

Thus, it begins — with simple favours, then trinkets, then gifts, and so on it progresses, operating as debt in which, once it reaches its threshold, would be demanded payment by the predatorial man, by way of sexual favours and the like. Before the woman knows it, like quicksand, it sucks her in — slowly but surely — gradually ebbing her life away.

When these women resist or ignore such advances, these men, usually with fragile egos and a distended hubris; the failed men that they are, seek to punish and oppress the women who had enough integrity to shun their indiscreet proclivities.

In many of these countries, they torment and torture, by way of humiliation, defamation, or through means in which the woman has a difficult time financially supporting herself — all intended to bring the woman to desperation, where she has no choice but to give in to his disgusting lust for her.

I am fortunate to have not been a victim of such wiles, but I cannot say that I haven’t, on some level, experienced or been the witness of, these things. It is no surprise to me that I find a lot of West African Men insecure about approaching financially secure women. They always make it their aim to target those they deem easy to manipulate; bragging about the hotel they stay in, the condos they can buy (or have bought), the esteemed positions they have held, as well as their patronizing platitudes and empty flattery — all superficial attempts to mask their tyrannical and lackluster qualities.

So, when I hear comments made primarily by West African men, such as hiding their income from their wives, or that they do what they wish without consideration of their wives, or that they expect their wives to kneel before them as she serves him dinner that she spent hours cooking, it is evident that their actions are intended to maintain male dominance, female subjugation, as well as economic and power inequality.

Unfortunately, these are the kind of men who run West Africa.