!! Metacognitive doubts ‘’‘@#$
a post-modern Poem
%^& ~^ I have oft encountered These deep feelings of Dark nothingness, A void of existence, A chasmic depression, And desperate hopelessness. Their causes have been Sundry, nothing in particular. Sometimes, the stupidity and folly Of the venerated crowd everywhere Have disgusted me to the point Of wanting to scream Over social media, directed at No one in particular, just in general. Other times, it’s my own situations–Familial, economic, professional, Physical, mental, personal or moral–That has driven me to the edge of A shadowy vortex, as though Charybdis Sucking out all my Energy and motivation and the will to Live right out of my left breast. Yet occasions further, the Source of my disillusionment Has been larger than me, Or the perfect illogicality of the Multitude of sacred consumers, The thermostatic seesaw of The fickle public mood Captured by the greatest Opinion poll of all — the Stock market; Or the myriad societies and time zones That I get to populate or pretend to Participate in. None of those, specifically. It is the infinite divisibility of the individual, The idiocy of calling spaceS Universe although there is no Evidence contrary to the concept of multiverseS. {the only Rationale for this, i think, is that any idea of Multiverses is anathema to the monotheists.} The utter lunacy of trying to Define and describe and capture Immortal Time and its mercurial events Within the mortal handles And digits (and, erstwhile, sands) of fragile clocks, In the annals of history’s crumbling pages, The sheer selfishness of trying to Explain away the inexplicable By our morbid minds and Easily exhaustible pool of knowledge, All in search of some mental calm, Societal order and peace of being. [Just because we don’t comprehend Some phenomena, doesn’t automatically Render it simple and mundane By the vice of our anthropomorphic adaptations and explanations, or does it ¿] The infallible randomness and valuelessness of our billions-strong birth and life and action And reaction and expression and fears and death. The lamentable vulgarity of skirmishing over terrestrial Dust and liquefied building blocks like A couple of raven bands fighting over A tiny turf of the street and its lamp posts, And duelling like in-heat stags of the mating season Mistaking carnal pleasures as eternal treasures, Even though the ancient semitic adage Preaches the wisdom of ?/ كُلُّ نَفْسٍ ذَآئِقَةُ الْمَوْت (¡Kullu Nafsin Zaikatul Maut aka Every soul shall taste death…..!) The hapless slavery to evolutionary biochemistry, the feckless fealty to organic physics, The notions created by repeated motions On our memoric films-negatives. And the metaphysical whack-a-mole between The left and right hemispheres Of the terminally living computational Machine lovingly called “the brain”, An outdated, decaying data processor made Of carbon fibre THAT just Nurtures us for laying more and more EGGS in a cramped chicken farm Of gAlAcTic proportions. through the Grand parade of life, We c-r-a-w-l like earthworms scrambling From the smell of approaching maiden Snowfall, all the while oblivious tO the Impending step of statutory termination; although Time, the timeLESS ringmaster, The structural god-substance, dons The sardonic grin of a great white shArk. The rabid clamour for meaning and control in an otherwise pristine sea of noir with Hot and cold metallic rocks just chilling and killing time; emanating and devouring Ceaseless energy, all the while patiently Yet violently waiting, like Vesuvius or Fujiyama, To dilute into that serenely ebony wave from Which they all were issued. At such points of existential crises, I feel like incarnating the lazy idleness, The cosmic apathy of the ethereal goliath,
