Menopause Obliterated my Libido

And I’m still having the best sex of my life

We weren’t really up for it but we got ourselves out to a sex party in Midtown the other night and wound up having a great time.

Usually, we’re kind of invisible at sex parties these days but for whatever reason, the young people at this party were happy to make room for us on one of the two very crowded beds in a small hotel room. It felt great to spread my legs to a hungry young man with a raging hard-on. And then to find my partner, AleXander, right there with his own raging hard-on also for me!

But the old driving urge? Not there.

I was sex-positive long before I heard the term. My first forays into masturbation were around the age of 13 when I noticed that peeing on my hand sent this wild little thrill up through my belly. Having come of age before the plague made its way to my corner of northeast Ohio I was a promiscuous little fiend. I go into even more cringe-inducing details here.

I was 52 when I met AleXander at a sex party. We were at it like animals without even knowing each other’s last names although we did discover later that we’d actually met at that same party five years earlier.

That was also the year that I experienced my first hot flashes.

The party we met at, SPAM, only ended about two years ago and during its 13-year run, we were there nearly every third Saturday. There was also Le Trapeze, the heir to Plato’s Retreat which was pricey and a bit of a roll of the dice. It was a hetero environment although we did have some memorable nights there.

But both of those venues are now gone and it’s been a little tricky finding something that works for a couple of senior sex fiends. It’s good that we live where we do or we’d be completely out of luck on that front.

However, the opportunities for public sex play have begun to thin out for us, just in time for me to also deal with The Change.

While I’ve been fortunate to be able to continue to use estrogen replacement therapy (aka birth control pills taken on alternate days with the full knowledge and approval of my lady doctor and my primary care doctor), the inescapable fact is that I just don’t have that old explosive drive to have sex. I may not have crippling hot flashes or that tiresome nausea that was also part of the fun of menopause, but it’s still been a long, slow deflation. I guess I’m lucky that it hasn’t shown up as some major, disruptive force.

The most noticeable change has been the disappearance of my tingle. I used to get this thrumming tingle starting in my clitoris and spreading down through my inner thighs and up into my belly in response to an enthusiastic mouth on my lady parts. Or even the thought of said mouth.

What I haven’t lost? My orgasms.

I’m one of those not-mythical women who kind of didn’t know what an orgasm was until I was well into my late 30s. I may have been hot as hell back in my wild days hitchhiking around Medina county, but I always had the frustrating experience of getting almost there. And then not.

It wasn’t until I’d been clean and sober for several years that I began to sail past whatever that old barrier was and have orgasms.

And good as those were, I was not prepared for what an orgasm can be with a partner as present and attentive and hungry as AleXander is. In the nine years we’ve been together I’ve logged at least three to five wake-the-neighbors orgasms per week. We’re talking nearly 2,000 really great orgasms since I started menopause. Criminy!

Acceptance is the answer

Losing the tingle, losing that heightened anticipation of a monkey sex night or a trip to one of our favorite sex romps, that was a little scary. Because he’s got the libido of a damned bull, AleXander has had relationships falter in the past due to partners becoming less interested in sex. He’s always on high alert for that and I worried I was going to have to break the bad news to him somehow.

Here’s the bad news: I didn’t feel that breathless thrill when he told me about that party in Midtown.

Here’s the good news: I had fun once I got there and look forward to the opportunity for another romp with these sexy, friendly people.

Here’s the even better news: I love sex with AleXander more than ever. I’ve never been with a partner who so completely loses himself in every aspect of sex and the longer I make love with this man, the more I want to.

Even without the tingle, the old anticipation, or any of the other sex-related things that menopause has canceled I’m still having the best sex of my life. I wonder if any of those young people at the party would have been shocked to learn they were doing it with a 62-year-old lady.

I’d tell them to brag about it.

© Remington Write 2020. All Rights Reserved

For someone who doesn’t consider herself a sex blogger, I seem to write about sex quite often. Like here:

Thanks for reading!