Men — Don’t Get Offended When Women Say “All Men.”

When you respond, “not all men,” we think you are one of the men we are talking about

Each individual holds personal truths, things that they know to be true due to a combination of deep belief and experience. Sometimes we do not even realize that other people do not “know” the same things to be true.

I am married and have been for almost 20 years. I love my husband very much. This is why it shocked me when I realized he did not have a fundamental comprehension of what being a woman is like. Especially being a woman, alone, at night.

I have never had an issue being a woman alone at night; I am pretty independent. When I was younger, like most people, I was pretty fearless. Of course, I also knew to absolutely always pay attention to my surroundings. Walk with my keys in my hands, maybe laced through my fingers. Understand to use my bag, purse, or whatever else as a weapon.

Being aware of your surroundings and the people in your general vicinity is basic safety and common sense. However, most men do not need to think like this, and certainly not all the time.

Sometime in the last year and a half (all I know is it was a discussion we had during this never-ending pandemic), I found out that my husband never really thought about this. He never realized that women have to (or at least should be) on guard all the time. He just never thought about it. Let me reiterate, I love my husband, and he is a good man. It is not like he did not consider these things on purpose. They are just not part of his reality.

If my husband is a good person and has never thought about these things, what about all the lesser men who are not good and have no issue doing bad things to women. Or what about the men who feel entitlement because they are a man. Do they think about what it is like for a woman? Do they care?

I love my husband, my son, my brothers, and other male family members and friends. I, of course, do not hate all men. However, understand that if I do not know you, I am not going to just hope you are a good guy. I need to be on guard for my own safety.

Now, when you have proven you are not a danger, you will certainly not fall into the “all men” category anymore. Unfortunately, this is just part of what being a woman in America is like.

Don’t like it? Change the culture. Men have so much more power to change this culture than women do. Shaming people goes a long way in changing how people act. Let me give you a relatable example. There was a time in America (believe it or not but not too long ago) where the country as a whole was much more politically correct.

If you were a racist, judged people based on sexuality, hated women, specific religions, etc., you typically hid that crap from others. Why? Because on the whole, it was not acceptable behavior, and society would shame you and judge you if you voiced these opinions out loud. Clearly, the winds have shifted in society where people feel it is perfectly fine to be filled with hate and express it.

Now take that example, and reverse it. Go back to shaming people. If your buddy starts talking about a teenager and how hot she is, shame that guy. Make him feel terrible. Because it is awful sexualizing a child. That is what teenagers are; they are children.

If they hoot and holler after women, let them know you are disgusted. Or catcall them right back. Daily. For weeks at a time. Show them how humiliating it is to be looked at as a piece of meat.

If you do not want to be lumped in with “all men,” don’t act like them. Help women. More to the point, help society move on from this ridiculous behavior that people think is acceptable.

I do not need to give you examples of right and wrong or the types of behaviors that should be shamed. Think about what is happening, or even just being said in your presence.

Now, ask yourself would it be okay if women acted that way towards men? How would you feel if those people were talking about your mother, nana, sister, or daughter? If those things anger you, remember, all women came from somewhere, and those men are also pretty angry.