Men, as a whole, probably deserve the hate we get

No, this isn’t simping or pandering to women or whatever nonsense other men might come up with against this article. But before I get into it, one thing I want to talk about is disagreements. When there are two opposing people or two opposing sides, generally speaking, each side looks at it as if they are right and the other side is wrong, obviously.

But what if each side, whether an individual or a group, decided to not only first see if they can understand where the other side is coming from, but secondly, try to see if they have any faults of their own and then honestly admit to those faults before going into their complaints? I really think that a lot of times when people have disagreements or appear to be on opposing sides, the problem comes when there is only finger-pointing without a desire to understand the other side nor to admit to one’s own negative contributions to the issue. So, when people come at disagreements from that angle, obviously, that is going to put the other person or side on the defensive and things may go downhill from there.

So let me see if I can take some of my own advice. First of all, I want to say that I can understand where women are coming from. They have been a marginalized group for a long time and, let’s be honest fellas, for a long time we saw it as no big deal for men to be cheaters, players, or whatever else. In fact, some people probably saw movies or knew other men in which the men were verbally or physically abusive. Even in “the good old days” when marriages lasted and whatnot, some say that some of the men still had mistresses and even children outside of their “home base” families.

I recall one of my favorite movies, or at least one of my favorite Eddie Murphy movies, which is called Boomerang.

It’s quite funny, but cool at the same time, so if you haven’t seen it, you may want to check it out. The premise of the movie (which is about to be somewhat of a spoiler alert) is that the main character, played by Eddie Murphy, was a playboy, but he eventually ended up falling for a woman who kind of treated him the same way he treated women. Although one could say that he probably still did some of the women worse, but I digress.

Anyway, as much as I like the movie, I realize that me and some others saw movies like that and just sort of shrugged it off, but we have to understand that such is simply another example that men really haven’t been valuing women and we should probably understand their perspective and where they are coming from.

This also goes along the lines of the second part I mentioned above, looking at one’s own faults. If we as a whole (not individually) haven’t really been valuing or honoring women properly, then one can at least admit that much, even if we realize that some women also mistreat men, that some women overlook nice guys, etc. All of that may be true, but that doesn’t mean that men as a whole haven’t done some messed up stuff either.

I think some of the worst things that men have done was shaming women for not only doing things that men wanted them to do, but for doing things to actually make those men happy. For example, if a young man tried to get into a young woman’s pants and she let him because, goodness forbid, she liked him or was simply attracted to him, why would he then not only “ghost” her, but tell everyone at school how much of an easy “slut” she is for simply giving him what he was pushing for and for doing what he himself did? After all, it takes two to tango.

Then there was the body shaming of the past. Granted, nowadays many men are into big women and women of all shapes and sizes now, but it wasn’t always that way. It was fairly common back in the day for men to not only overlook big women, but to not see them as prospective partners, talk sh*t about bigger women, and even diss on women who weren’t even overweight, but weren’t the conventionally attractive “Barbie” types either. So some women may understandably be resentful of such past issues of men having unrealistic beauty standards for women, etc.

I did have a whole spiel about male hypergamy (men going for women who look a lot hotter than they do) as opposed to female hypergamy, with women generally dating up (at least financially and/or socially) and rarely dating too far down (rich, popular, or famous women, dating guys who don’t have much money, aren’t popular at all, and/ aren’t considered very successful), but the point is, some women are probably justifiably angry about the unrealistic beauty standards that society has placed on them.

Anyway, I have a lot more that could be said on this subject and maybe I will make a part two or simply another article related to this one, but suffice it to say, perhaps this gender war can be resolved a bit more easily by each side taking time to not only understand the perspective of the other side, but by acknowledging the faults of their own side as well. And that’s what I hope to have done a little bit in this article.

Thank you for reading and thank you more for showing love and/or commenting.