Memoirs of My Room: A Journey Through Time and Illness

August 14 2019

Eight years since I sat in my lovely bedroom, which was when this photo was taken. It was the year I qualified as a driving instructor instead of finishing the final year of my BSc Degree in “Multimedia in Computing”. As I became even more busy as a working mum and starting my own businesses, things slowly started to go downhill, not in terms of work life but overall family life.

Undiagnosed for over ten years, I was finally diagnosed with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis last year, which certainly explains a lot. I always wondered how other working mums had so much energy after work, in order to maintain a family home to a high standard and additional time and energy to continue having happy family time too. We had so much fun together as a family when the children were younger. Looking back, I wish I had hired a home helper while I was working, it would have been amazing. I always thought I could not afford one and it was a waste of money. However, recently since I have become completely ill and broke for the first time in my life, having one in addition to an amazing brother and best friend, has certainly improved my quality of life and it’s a shame I didn’t get one sooner.

I remember sitting in my room on the window ledge watching the Olympic march, part of which took place on my street in 2012. The external redecoration, repair and repainting windows, renewal of the kitchen and bathroom had just been completed. So, I embarked on a goal to finish the rest of the house. I spent so much money paying someone else to redecorate and repair my home, even though I qualified as a Special Techniques painter and decorator, back in the day. He started with my youngest daughter room, my other daughter’s room, the hallway, and the living room. The last job would have been my room. Throughout this time I started off sleeping on a small section of my bed but later moved onto the sofa in my living room, while stuff from every other room was piled into my bedroom.

Now eight years on and I still have not been able to get back into my bedroom and redecorate it. Since the children have either left or departed from home, I have not been short of places or beds to sleep in. Sadly, since my condition has progressively become severe, I have spent the last nine months at home in bed. Most of the time not able to do anything at all. So, it may still be some time before I get to sit in my lovely bedroom again.

I usually repost memories without writing anything because writing exacerbates my symptoms and actually makes me really ill. But today, I was looking for something and found lots of emails and notes I have written over time but never sent or published. Over the last few years since writing became most difficult, my best friend has been helping me with this and I have always aspired to become a better writer. When looking into this today, I came across an article which recommended writing something every day. So after making myself ill, getting very upset about a topic a few days ago, wasting my time writing a response which probably wasn’t liked or read. I thought, why am I wasting my time in this support group with these people? I should use my time more wisely and put anything I write to better use.

Since my youngest daughter went to sleep, I have wanted to write a blog but have never been able to start one. The last few years have been a struggle trying to navigate through such a treacherous journey but maybe now since I can barely do anything, it could be a good time to start.

But first, I will just start by practicing my writing with this post for today.

If you enjoy reading Medium articles and would like to support me and other writers please consider subscribing by clicking on the link below.

Thank you so much for reading.

Sending you lots of love and positivity.x.x.x.

— Honeybee.🌷🐝

See the next post here: