Fiction | Funny

Meet the Character — Elijah

A one-on-one interview with characters from my own stories

“Good morning everyone! My name is Bradan and I’m hosting our meet and greet interview today,” Bradan said with a cheerful smile to the crowd. “This is a new segment and I’d like to invite Elijah from The Requiem Chronicles to the stage!”

The crowd cheered as a nervous Elijah was shoved out onto the stage, and a bag was removed from his head at the same moment. He reached for Requiem with one hand and tightened his grip on the blade.

“Whoa! Someone is a little on edge. Don’t worry pal, no one is going to hurt you here. How about you take a seat?” Bradan gestured to the plush couch.

“What is all this?” he asked.

“Your interview! Now let me ask you some questions. Just simple stuff to get us warmed up. How are you doing today? What was traffic like? Probably breezed right by it since you can traverse realms and all,” Bradan chuckled.

“I’m fine… Who are you?”

“I’m Bradan. I’m the guy that’s writing your story,” Bradan smiled.

“Like a biography?” Elijah asked confused.

“No, your story. There are plenty of viewers that can’t wait to read what happens next to you. I’m the guy that writes that!”

“So you wrote me into that ravine?” Elijah stood up with a scowl.

“It wasn’t so bad. You made it out of there in one piece,” Bradan said dismissively.

“Wasn’t so bad? I was shot only what felt like yesterday!?” Elijah roared in anger. “You’ve done nothing but torment my life!”

Slay him, Elijah! This monster wrote unthinkable horrors to my being. He’s the reason the trash gnomes ran off with me!

Elijah drew Requiem and lunged at Bradan. The crowd gasped in panic as the couch was sliced open.

“Whoa! Let’s dial things back a bit. We’re pals, right?” Bradan stumbled to his feet as he pulled out a notepad and pen.

“My sword and your face are about to become pals!” Elijah yelled as he swung the sword.

Bradan hurriedly scrawled on the notepad as he ran from the attacks.

And then Elijah fell asleep and the show cut to commercial.

Elijah held Requiem high overhead when his arms began to feel limp. He staggered a few steps before he fell to the floor with a thud.

“Alright, everyone. The situation is under control now and we’re going to take a break. We’ll be back after these paid sponsors.” Bradan said reassuringly.

“David Meyers here! Long gone are the days of grief, sadness, depression, and negativity. Today, we welcome the new age of the bubble!”

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