Tuesday Prompt

Meet Anastasia, Queen of High Society Anxiety

Marilyn’s recent Incredibly delectable insecurity — available now as long as supplies last!

Greetings Everyone,

My name is Anastasia, and I’m Marilyn’s anxiety. High society anxiety I might add…yes, I’m liking the sound of that. High society anxiety.

Not that Marilyn is high by any stretch of the imagination. She peaked at 5 foot 2 inches and now is rapidly heading in the other direction, thanks to her exotic Kyphotic thoracic vertebra — you know, the part of the rib cage where the bra goes…If not, don’t worry about it.

That’s my job. Worry. Stress. Anxiety. It’s a full-time occupation. Especially in Marilyn’s condition. Have you seen her lately?

Besides being slumpy of posture, she’s a nervous wreck. So unbecoming of a woman of a certain age, who should be enjoying her dotage. Don’t tell her I used that word. She’d be horrified. But she’s slipping. Very imperceptibly, of course, but slipping nonetheless.

Which is why I’ve come to her aid and assistance.

So she can compare where she is with where she should be. This sets her up perfectly to experience and enjoy my offerings — rapid heart palpitations, shortness of breath, and oh, let’s say, a little lightheadedness sprinkled with some lovely hot flushes.

Most people have to buy drugs to get this effect.

That’s another form of high Marilyn doesn’t qualify for, being in recovery all these many years. Takes some of the spontaneous fun and joy out of life.

If she’s not going to self-medicate, I have to go in after her. Inhabit her inner realms so she can enjoy the above-mentioned stimulations to the Central Nervous System.

Come to think of it, I should charge her the going rate. Because, after all, if it weren’t for Moi dishing out the goodies, she’d have to buy them from some version of a dealer — whether we’re talking Big Pharma or the local street pusher.

Someday she’ll come to appreciate me.

After all, thanks to me she gets an amazing amount of writing and editing done! Thanks to me, she’s prolific and terrific and always on the go, go, go!

What’s my secret you ask? Shhhh. That’s why it’s a secret. Oh, okay, I’ll share a wee bitty one. The acute and chronic minimization of slumber. Works like a charm. Just enough to juice up the day, but not enough to interfere with her massive output.

She thrives on fumes. My fumes. I maintain her heart at somewhere between 84 and 91 beats a minute. With peaks I the low 100s. Oh, is life fun at that pace! This ensures the minimization of slumber as well.

Is it sustainable?

Sure. Since I keep loading her plate. Let’s see, on a typical day like today, she’s got a Commedia dell’Arte class overlapping with a Zoom call on how to get started on Instagram which overlaps with yet another Zoom call on book marketing.

In, around, and between all that, she has three articles to edit for a publication, her own post to write for something called Know Thyself, Heal Thyself — which is where I come in.

I took pity on her and am writing it myself.

Because in a little bit she has a Worship Team Meeting for church. And before that meeting, she has to make a call she’s dreading. Which is of course giving her more of what I bring to the table. All to the good from my point of view.

When that’s done, she gets a break.

Time for a walk in what’s left of the sun. Cop some vitamin D and a bit of Serotonin if she’s lucky. But that stuff gets in my way. Makes my job all the much harder.

Fortunately, I’ve got a jump start and the Serotonin production lags way behind. When she comes back from her walk, there’s another piece of writing to do…and somewhere in there, I’ll release her to eat a salad.

But before that, she has to break up a bunch of boxes for the recycling bin and make another phone call.

Someday she’ll thank me.

I get all the credit. For her recent weight loss. For her many trips to the doctor in person and virtually. For all that she accomplishes in one 24 hour period. And for making sure she chews up life and spits it back out as she goes.

Thanks to me, she’s effective, efficient, and quite the one-woman whirlwind.

By the way, she doesn’t use up all my goodies. I’ve got extra Elixir of my Essence packaged and ready to go to the highest bidder.

Any takers?

Thank you, Diana C. for giving me this rare platform to show off!

Marilyn Flower writes political humor and satire to delight socially and spiritually conscious folks. She’s a regular columnist for the prison newsletter, Freedom Anywhere, where she writes about faith and prayer. Five of her short plays have been produced in San Francisco. Clowning and improvisation strengthen her resolve during these crazy times. Stay in touch!