Medium Set a Precedent By Giving Out One Free T-Shirt

I believe I’ve earned at least a coffee mug

Medium writer, Roz Warren earned herself a Medium t-shirt without even trying. We didn’t even know Medium had t-shirts until she got one. All she had to do was write a Medium advice piece and they sent her a free gift.

I believe this has now set a precedent for all writers here.

Everyone and their dog is writing advice pieces so why is Roz so special? Probably because she came up with an official title for her advisory status. She calls herself a Medium Sherpa and never before has this platform had an actual Sherpa.

Our community has had “authorities” and “gurus” before, but never a Sherpa. If I didn’t already know what that was I’d say it sounds like a frozen ice cream treat.

Let’s be clear, I don’t want a Medium t-shirt. I have a new puppy who chews holes into everything I wear and a new t-shirt would just turn into a challenge for her.

I do, however, believe I’ve earned at LEAST a Medium coffee mug. It would have dual functionality — I could use it every single day and it’s indestructible. My puppy wouldn’t even look twice at an object her teeth can’t pierce and she doesn’t need more chew toys ever since Helen Cassidy Page shipped her a whole Amazon box of them.

You might be asking yourself how I have the audacity to proclaim that I deserve a free gift from Medium.

It’s simple. Just as Roz has committed to helping newbies get a leg up with writing here, I have fully committed to helping current writers create alternate identities here.

Over the last six months or so I’ve received countless emails inquiring about how to get set up with a second account. In fact, there were so many requests I decided to publish a how-to guide about it.

I believe my article about how to write under a second name is even more valuable than helping first time writers. Why? Because I’m encouraging people to pay Medium TWICE each month. I also pay Medium twice each month for my two accounts, so there’s that.

I’m generating more revenue for this platform than Roz is. She’s only helping people who have committed to spending $5.00 but I’m helping people embark on the fulfilling journey of paying $10.00 per month.

Therefore, I want a coffee mug.

It’s the least Medium could do for me. I require more coffee in a day than the average writer because I’m writing for two. Sort of like pregnant women are eating for two.

Just as Roz had to earn her way through the beginning stages of writing on Medium, so did I. But I took it one step further and became a beginner two whole times. Not just once.

Therefore, I want a coffee mug.

I hereby declare an open solicitation to the Medium merchandise underground bunker that none of us knew about. It’s high time they start doling out the merch to those of us who are paying double to keep Medium’s lights on.

Until I start earning what it takes to keep my own lights on, I want a damn coffee mug.

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