Medium Gods, Feature My Story to Wish Me a Merry Christmas

Summary

A writer recounts a dream where a genie grants a single wish, which they use to request Medium feature their story, only to wake up and realize it was a dream.

Abstract

In a whimsical narrative, the author describes a dream encounter with a genie who emerges from an old lamp. Contrary to the traditional three wishes, this genie offers only one. The writer, fixated on the desire for recognition, wishes for their story to be featured by Medium Staff. The genie suggests sending an email request, and upon waking, the writer does exactly that, albeit with the realization that the genie's advice was part of the dream. Despite the fantastical nature of the encounter, the writer sends a hopeful email to Medium, listing two potential stories for featuring, and briefly enjoys the dream's fulfillment before fully awakening.

Opinions

The author playfully critiques the modern trend of limiting wishes, as seen in the genie offering only one wish instead of the traditional three.
There is a hint of self-deprecation as the writer refers to their wish as "stupid," suggesting they might have aimed for something more tangible like wealth or cryptocurrency.
The writer acknowledges the futility of their action, recognizing that Medium's editorial decisions are likely governed by algorithms rather than personal appeals.
The dream's influence on the writer's real-life actions implies a deep-seated desire for validation and recognition from the Medium platform.
The tone of the email to Medium Staff is humorous and light-hearted, with the writer distancing themselves from the "stupid" wish by blaming the nude genie.
The author seems to be reflecting on the nature of wish fulfillment and the power of dreams to motivate real-world actions, despite their fantastical origins.

I had this weird dream

I found a small lamp. When I rubbed the lamp, a beautiful genie — she was completely nude, like Game of Thrones nude — came out of it. “My Master, what is thy one wish?”

“Wasn’t it three wishes, oh dear sweat and nude Genie?”

“My Master, three wishes are out of style in the Genie Land these days. If the trend makes a comeback, I’ll let you know.”

Since I had been thinking about my story getting featured by Medium Staff, I said, “I would like Medium to feature my story!”

“Email them. Say, ‘Medium Staff, please feature my story.’ ” And the genie disappeared.

“Hey, wait, waaaait. That’s not faaaair.” But the genie was gone, and I couldn’t do anything because three wishes were not in.

Now you see, my wish was stupid. I should have asked for $1 billion — or 500 Bitcoins. The genie advised me to email coz she could not hack Medium — maybe.

I sat there rubbing the lamp till it started shining like a new one. All the magic hidden in its antiqueness seemed to have evaporated.

But then I opened my laptop to write an email. I knew it would not have any effect on Medium Staff. Their algorithmic hearts function more mechanically than any self-proclaimed writer would wish to imagine.

“Dear Medium Staff,

I hope this wish of mine doesn’t bother you. I assure you it’s not my idea — a stupid — and nude — genie told me to send this email.

I want you to feature any one of these stories:

1. Think without words. Really.

2. How to write 10x engaging stuff within 24 hours with a simple habit change

I wish you a Merry Christmas.”

Two hours after I sent the email, to my utter surprise, both of my stories were featured.

And after one more minute, I woke up.

Medium Gods, Feature My Story to Wish Me a Merry Christmas — Please

I had this weird dream