MAKE YOUR MEMOIRS POP! and CONTEST WINNERS ‘SUMMER LOVE’
Medium Day’s a Winner at Parasol Pubs — ‘Make Your Memoirs Pop’
What a day it was, and here is a transcript
August 12th — ‘Medium Day’ — has come and gone, but it’s not over yet! Most of us on platform are eagerly awaiting the release of more presentation videos. What a day it was, with many writers, editors, publishers, and Medium Staff presenting. Such a day! I promised I’d release my presentation transcript, and here it is. Enjoy!
Happy Medium Day, and thanks to all of you here with us
In 2017, I got a phone call at my teaching job. I was on prep, so there weren’t teenagers in the classroom, fortunately.
“Can you come home?” said my husband, “I’ve had an accident and I need help. I was on a ladder cutting a branch with a chainsaw. I fell.”
Within a minute I’d figured out he’d broken his collarbone, or — possibly — his neck. As a substitute teacher, I was able to leave, so I was home within a few minutes. Driving in, I saw a chainsaw on the gravel driveway and a large branch. A ladder was sideways, and my heart raced.
In my mind’s eye, I could see what had happened. How the branch had hinged and struck the ladder. How he had landed, hard. Stumbled to the house to call me. Was he even still alive?
I threw the car in park and ran to the house.
Within thirty minutes, my husband was on a gurney on his way to the hospital. As I sat by his hospital bed in the trauma unit, I wrote a note in the writers’ group I belonged to online.
My husband’s broken his neck in several places, I said. I won’t be around for a while. Looks like I’ll have time to work on my memoir.
To my amazement, I got a reply from a famous author and memoirist, whose name I won’t mention.
“I don’t often do this,” she said, “But send me the first thirty pages or so. of your memoir, and do take care of that husband of yours.”
After I sent her my first chapter, my heart beating wildly considering this famous writer in New York reading my words, I received the first tip I’ll give you for your memoir.
Number 1 — Start with a bang
Especially on Medium, the first three sentences of your story will make or break you. Grab your reader fast. In Media Res is a Latin term that means ‘in the middle of action.’ Begin with an intense anecdote, or the car chase, or getting pulled over by the cops when you’ve got a body in the trunk.
Cut the boring background. We don’t want to hear your life in chronological order! You can add a bit of that in later. Begin with action.
Here’s the second tip. Use elements of fiction and creative writing in your personal essays and memoir.
Use all the tricks — imagery, dialogue, and figurative language. Let’s consider another writer — Kendra Sparkles. Kendra’s entered a few of our writing contests, and she won a prize with her story ‘The One-eyed Bird That Never Sang.’
In this memoir, Kendra works at a group home. Tucked in a dismal, dark corner of the residence is a small dirty cage with a very sad little bird. In her story of rescuing the bird, Kendra shows through images and dialogue how pathetic its existence is. A sad little bird gives deflated squeaks, for example. It’s stuck in a dark corner and the supervisor says they don’t even hardly feed it.
Here’s an excerpt from her story.
Kendra’s supervisor shares with her this, about the bird: “That’s Shithead. Someone gifted him to the house five years ago but no one here likes animals. Half the guys are terrified of him! Terrible gift. Look at that shitty eye of his!”
In this snippet of dialogue, which by the way doesn’t have to be 100 percent correct, writers — Kendra shows a lot.
The total disregard for the bird. Each word oozes negativity. Words like Terrified. Terrible. Shitty eye!
We, the readers are pulled in, and by the end of the story, we’re cheering for this bird — but also, for Kendra, because we trust her storytelling. We recognize people like that cruel supervisor. And believe me, Kendra saves the day.
Her storytelling is great. Images, dialogue, tension. It’s all there. I recommend you read her story.
And that brings us to the 3rd Tip Be courageous. Don’t be afraid of people judging you. Of course they will. And so what?
Will they talk about you? so what? Will they think you’re a pariah? so what? If they don’t know who you really are, there isn’t much depth to the relationship anyway.
When I was writing my memoir, Love and Loss in Cambodia, I realized I needed to add a detail about my life so personal I thought I’d die if it went into print.
After mulling it over, I wrote it into the book. I wrote as honestly and artfully as I could. I reminded myself if I really hated it, I would remove it later. It was crucial to my book, I decided, because it was such a huge event in my life.
After I published my book, I had scores of phone calls and emails from others who said they were glad I had been honest.
Here’s a tip to help you write. Simply write your truth.
Writing it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to publish it. But what if you did?
Remember, Those who mind don’t matter. Those who matter don’t mind!
That’s Dr. Seuss.
Here’s another example.
In The Kiss that changed my life, Narrative Arc essayist Chaotically Lottie writes about a crush on her friend Bri, when they are both young teenagers. They’re hanging out, as kids do, and play a word association game. I’ll read an excerpt.
I started us off, using the first book I saw in the bags at our feet as the prompt.
Math, Match, Fire, Truck, Red, Heart, You
“Wait, me? You heard heart and immediately went to me?” Bri’s face told me she wasn’t simply stalling, she was genuinely touched and surprised at my response.
“Uh, well, yeah. I mean, I thought love and you at the same time, maybe I should have said love, I just…” Blushing furiously as I awkwardly stumbled over my words. I was the type of person who felt deeply, but privately. The unexpected vulnerability set me off on a tangent of trying to downplay my words without taking them back.
In writing about her love for this young girlfriend, Lottie accomplishes two acts of bravery and vulnerability.
First, she recounts the vulnerability and shyness she felt as a young woman falling in love with another girl. She stammered, she was anxious, and she came out with it.
Second, do you think it’s easy for people to ‘come out’ in stories? No, it’s not. But is it important? absolutely! First, we should all be able to affirm who we are as individuals, to have a voice.
But it takes courage. And that’s why we love Chaotically Lottie. She is unapologetically herself, and we love her for it.
Writing honestly about your life takes courage, especially with issues you feel vulnerable about.
A physical disability. A death in the family. Losing a job. Having a personal crisis, like divorce.
These aspects of life are important to share, and those who write personal essays and memoirs know there’s an audience out there going through similar issues. That’s why we love this writing.
You don’t have to be a strong perfect hero in your essays. Show your Achilles Heel! Admit to being an imperfect human being, and we’ll like you better. That’s authentic, vulnerable, courageous writing from the heart — writing you won’t get from AI, by the way.
Let’s talk briefly about memoir — which is a fancy French word for memory.
Memoir focuses NOT on your perfect memory of a past event. Rather, it focuses on your interactions, feelings, and learnings from your memories.
Memory is a strange beast.
I was a teenager in the ’70s, and my sister was a year and a half older. Believe me, she remembers most of my family’s escapades in a different way. One time, Mom threw a wineglass, hitting the wall to the right of Dad’s head while we were having dinner.
The glass broke and the chablis dripped down the wall. We kids — I had a brother too — stared, looking back and forth at our parents.
We’d seen a similar scene on a ’70s TV show. Was it the Love Boat? Get Smart? I don’t remember, but I do remember we’d seen it done on some TV show. It was better on TV. Anyway, my sister remembers things about our growing up years in a completely different way than me. If I were to ask her what she remembered about that incident, she would recall what happened — but the circumstances? Why Mom threw the wineglass? She would explain things differently.
That’s because her lens is different. Her personality is different. And believe me, her relationship with our parents was different.
The interesting aspect of personal essays and memoir is reading of other people’s impressions and memories of events, especially if you share history.
Get ready to hear a truckload of, “I don’t remember that!” and “That’s not exactly how that happened.” And that’s okay.
The correct reaction is to smile and say, ‘Well, we experience life differently, don’t we! It’s called Point of view, and everyone has one.”
I’d like to make a distinction between memoir and personal essays. A personal essay explores a topic that’s near and dear to you, and perhaps unique to you. Maybe you’re a proud introvert, and love birdwatching. Why not marry the fabulous silence of watching nature without having to listen to your friends yammer about something? If you’re quiet, the birds will come. This is one idea for a personal essay.
Conni Walkup Hull recently wrote a personal essay about the joy of solitude, and she shares What some call being alone, I call sanctuary. I seek it; I have always sought it. I don’t think that’s going to change..
We have published many personal essays at The Narrative Arc. — Mike Butler’s essay about learning he‘s going to become a grandfather. — Kit Descjacques’ personal essay about affirmative action. — Erie Astin’s personal essay about her version of a long walk. — Kim Kelly Stamp’s essay about embracing her true identity. — Lucinda Munro Cook’s essay about riding bicycles through Canada. — Chevie Hanssler wonders why everyone in the family keeps asking her to write obituaries.
And who could possibly forgot Ellen Eastwood’s stunning essay ‘Please Remove Your laptop from the coffee shop?’
These are all brilliant personal essays.
Memoir, as a genre, is different. Memoir is a form in which the writer chooses a specific time in his or her life, or a theme that seems to recur, and explores it thoroughly in a narrative — a story or a book with a narrative arc.
The important part of memoir is that the writer explores learning and feelings throughout the events of the story. Memoir is second-guessing and explaining made explicit.
It’s the work of your brain ‘now’ sorting out a memory of an event so compelling, joyful, or upsetting that you’re trying to make sense of it. It’s metacognition — considering how you dealt with an event, and perhaps even having an epiphany as you write. Do you remember that old phrase from school, ‘Show your work?” In memoir, you show your thinking. You show how you’ve come to terms with part of your life.
I have a friend who says he loves it when people wait a long time after an event to write a memoir.
Well, that’s basically a given. Remember — memoir is based on a memory, and it should be something long in the past. The learning and the emotions will be the important part. You’ll have sifted and mined the gold out. Only then will you have the material for your memoir.
Click here to view our Medium Day Presentation.
Summer Love Winners
Now we’d like to announce the winners of our Summer Love writing competition. Every few months, we have a themed competition. The first price is fifty dollars, second is thirty dollars, third price is twenty dollars, and we have honorable mentions.
I’m pleased to announce our honorable mentions. Our contest had many writers, including our editorial team, who write passionate, interesting essays. All of the writing on The Narrative Arc is true, so that makes our love stories especially diverse.
While every story could have placed, we finally had to choose winners. As a team, we all chose our favorites, and many overlapped. Therefore, rather than three honorable mentions, We’ve chosen five. Our honorable mentions are these writers.
Lee J. Bentch — Can You Fall in Love Without Saying I Love you
Nathan Chen — The Love that Lingers Long After Goodbye
Annie Forbes Cooper— How a Devastating Love Affair Made Me Leave the Country
Doro Volkova — Love in the Georgian Sun
Jojo Teckina — Her Blind Date With Destiny
Starting with third place, we have…
Arpad Nagy — The Girl With the Summer Name That Had Everything but Love
Our second place winner…
Elizabeth Dawber — The Four Seasons of Love
Last, our First place winner for the Medium Day Summer Love Writing Competition is…
Chaotically Lottie — It’s Always Been You
Congratulations to our winners and honorable mentions! I will be sending your award money within the week.
Thanks as well to our team here at Parasol Publications for working so hard to support Medium Day.
Debra G. Harman, MEd. | Christine Schoenwald | Darren Weir
Chevie Hanssler| Conni Walkup Hull | Ellen Eastwood | Erie Astin | Kim Kelly Stamp | Kit Desjacques | Lucinda Munro Cook | Mike Butler
