Medium Cooled

After the love has gone…

This post has been percolating in my brain for some time. Some of you will not be thrilled with the following, some of you will not care, but I hope most of you will at least be able to appreciate this trickle of words for what I hope they express.

I will probably be departing Medium in the next few weeks or so. I’m leaving that “probably” possibility in there for now just in case I get a second (third? fourth?) wind, but in my heart, at this moment, the adverb is leaning toward “definitely”.

Not immediately, though. I have a few more posts that I’d like to push out there, partly for sentimental reasons and partly because I’ve promised certain people that I would excavate a few older stories, for various reasons, based on comment discussions. I most likely don’t remember all those promises, but I’ll try.

I decided to share this “exit” post now for one main reason: I don’t want to surprise everyone with an “I’m so over this!” announcement and then just vanish. To be fair, I fully understand why some of my favorite Medium writers have followed that path, reaching a fulcrum of frustration and suddenly moving on to other options. I am certainly in no position to disparage anyone’s choices. And continuing with said fairness, I know that many of those writers mulled leaving for quite some time. It wasn’t a “spur of the moment” kind of thing. They finally hit a breaking point where it was just too much, and they were done.

I’m at that breaking point, as well. I’m just taking things a bit more slowly.

Herewith, The Reasons Why.

Part the First: The Functionality. (The Lesser Issues.)

1. The Algorithms.

My stories are not being shared with the folks who might appreciate them, and the stories I would like to see are not being presented to me. Instead, I get all these “suggestions” that don’t appeal to me in any way, whatsoever. Sure, it’s always fun to run across something new, but shouldn’t those suggestions have at least a minimal relationship to the tags I use every day? To the stories I write?

2. The now useless daily “Medium Digest”.

When I first joined this platform, said Digest would at least involve folks that I was following. Now? I’ve never heard of some of these people, and I’m certainly not following them. How is this a digest of my feed? It’s not. It’s a random aggregation apparently generated by those damn algorithms. There’s obviously a ghost in the machine when it comes to the functioning of this platform.

3. The inability to find the latest shares from the folks you are following.

Some of you may remember the days, not all that long ago, when there used to be a constantly updated banner at the top of your home page which let you know if someone you follow had posted anything fresh. Sure, you had to do a bit of scrolling if you wanted to see everything, but it at least gave you the option of zeroing in on the folks you like to read the most.

Well, that option got ripped away. Now, the only way to somewhat guarantee that you are aware of fresh posts is to email-subscribe to everyone you follow. That’s ludicrous. I currently follow a somewhat eye-opening number of writers. I don’t want to hear from all of them, all the time, just being real. I want to regulate my reading flow because there’s only so much time in the day and, sometimes, we must winnow the choices, harsh as that may be.

And don’t even get me started on how many times I’ve visited one of my favorite writers’ pages, wondering why I haven’t seen anything new from them, only to find that I’ve missed some posts, even though I’m email-following them. Something is not right, here.

Part the Second: The Fickle Followers. (The moderate issues.)

4. The Crap with the Claps

I’ve never been a fan of this “variable-range” method of showing your appreciation (or lack thereof) for the stories one reads on Medium. Perhaps I’m jaded, writing as I did on WordPress for many years. Over there, you either liked it or you didn’t. One click, or non-click, end of story. Here? As a writer, you’re left wondering why “Sally” gave you 50 claps but “Buford” only gave you one.

I’m one of those people who will give you 50 claps if I like your story. I’m not interested in rating my fellow writers. When you set aside all those vapid souls who are clearly in it for the potential revenue of creating “articles” that are nothing but obvious examples of meaningless “click bait”, you are left with the folks here on Medium who are in it for the thrill of writing and sharing. Those are my people. And, with them, I’m not going to play coy with my appreciation. Either I liked your submission, or I didn’t. Full 50 or nothing.

And yes, I understand that some folks are fully invested in using the sliding-scale range of clapping to pinpoint their degree of satisfaction with a piece. If that angle works for you, go for it. You do you and I’ll do me.

5. The Love Em and Leave Em Contingent

Likewise, I’m not a fan of the manipulators who go full throttle with the claps and the comments until the very second that you follow them back, and then they disappear, never to be heard from again. I guess some of us are still playing high-school games. If I follow you, it’s because I’ve enjoyed what I’ve read, however limited that reading might be, and I’d like to know more. Sure, I may eventually find out that I’m not really a fan of yours, especially after you shared that one post concerning a deeply psychotic desire to have Trump’s baby, but that’s part of the learning curve called Life. I didn’t follow you for reciprocal clicking. I followed because I got a whiff of connection and possibility.

Flashback to where I mentioned email following, several paragraphs ago. I feel compelled to let loose with this vent: If I email follow you, I read everything that you share. Everything. And I clap, 97% of the time. Yet some of you don’t register this dedication. You see me clapping, but this clearly is not inspiring you to return the favor.

And yes, I realize that I should just disengage with these non-responsive folks, and I’m slowly doing so. But it irks me that some people are so disrespectful when it comes to someone doing them a solid. Is it just me? Perhaps. Perhaps I adhere to a code of conduct that no longer applies in modern society, where everything, apparently, is all about “I got what I needed from you in this moment and I’m moving on” instead of “we’re all in this together, let’s do what we can to hoist each other high”.

6. The Overwhelmingly Generic Comments

I don’t think I have to go into the details here, as those of you who truly care about supporting other writers know exactly what I mean. If some drive-by commenter leaves words that are so vague they could apply to any piece of writing on the entire planet, I know that you didn’t read the story. (Okay, maybe you read the title, I’ll give you that.) Don’t blow smoke up my ass, if you’ll pardon the French. I’ve been around the writing planet enough times to know the difference between smoke and substance.

Part the Third: Wherein My Own Faux Pas Become Evident. (Looking in the mirror.)

7. My Failure to Communicate

I’m at the front of the line when it comes to admitting that I don’t leave comments as often as I should on the works of my fellow writers, especially those who consistently comment on my own works. I know that I don’t. But it’s not for a lack of desire to do so. It’s just that I’m not a fan of saying something just to say something. I want my comments to have some weight to them, some honesty, coupled with that fact that I don’t want to parrot what has already been shared in the comment thread.

If my thoughts have already been expressed by others, or I can’t think of anything original to say (and we’ve all been there), then I simply clap (Full Fifty!) and I move on. I’m not prone to superfluous words, in any situation, wrong as that might be. (And yes, I’m that person at social events who stands in a corner and doesn’t say anything until I feel I have something to contribute. It’s just me. Introvert, personified.)

8. The lowlighting of the highlighting.

I’ve never been quite comfortable with this functionality on Medium, wherein you can accent your favorite bits in a piece that you are reading. I get the reasoning behind this option, of course, in that it allows you to show your appreciation for a well-turned phrase. On the flip side, it seems intrusive and speed-bumpy. If I’m happily perusing along and I run into someone else’s “this line is really good!” interruption, it breaks the flow, for me. Good writing is all about that flow, the journey of carefully aligned words. And I want to make that journey on my own, without a tour guide.

Sure, I’ve somewhat embraced this concept and I’ve done my fair share of highlighting. (Some of you have experienced the fallout of my rare moments of exuberant showcasing.) But it still doesn’t feel right, so most of the time I don’t leave any footprints on your words. And some people take that as a sign of disrespect, a dismissal of their efforts. Well, those 50 claps I give you at the end? That’s my respect. Some of the values here on Medium are out of whack. Those highlights don’t gain you anything. The claps and the read times do. That’s where I choose to leave my mark.

9. My refusal to play the game.

I have grown my following honestly. I don’t fake follow in the hopes of a fake follow-back. I don’t pretend to like someone’s scribblings when I really don’t. (Although I will say that I have made some mistakes with my choices, following someone that I initially thought was interesting, only to find out that they are conservative assholes not worth the time of day. Yes, I know I’ve already covered this angle above, but it’s worth repeating. Too many people exude a fake persona and then get caught in the spotlight of their deceit. You reap what you sow, deservedly so.) And I certainly don’t automatically follow everyone who interacts on my page. I research, I study their back catalogue, and I contemplate. Then I make a decision.

Sadly, not playing the game is almost certain doom on this platform.

Apparently, the only way to truly succeed on Medium is to follow this strategy:

A. Write fluff pieces about how to succeed on Medium. Be sure to mention, repeatedly, how much money you are making writing that fluff. And include graphs that show the showers of money raining down on your fluff parade, because those of us making 2 cents a day really need to see that. (Not.) There’s an art to being truly supportive instead of just bragging. Show us what you’ve learned, not what you earned.

B. Be sure to follow everyone who has joined Medium, ever, regardless of their merit or ability. Follow, follow, follow and hope that the sheer ramrod of your efforts will result in a tiny fraction of them actually clicking on your work. After all, if you follow anything with a detectable pulse, that small fraction of return reads can result in a considerable income. As opposed to those of us who choose the respectable path and organically grow our readership, resulting in minimal blips on our honest stats.

C. Hope that you somehow get selected by the mysterious Star Chamber of Medium “Experts” who designate which pieces to boost and promote. Perhaps I missed it, but I’ve never seen any documentation from Medium sharing the procedural details of this special committee. (Who are they? How do they select? Is it really a group or is it one person randomly picking out whatever he or she finds in her feed whilst waiting for the coffee to brew? No clue.) What I do know, and I’m going out on a vanity limb here, is that I’ve never been promoted or boosted despite churning out respectable (as opposed to click-bait) pieces for a very long time. Something wicked that way smells.

Part the Fourth: The Final Meltdown. (The Big Issues.)

10.1 I’m neglecting my books-in-progress.

I’ve whined about this before, so I’ll try to keep this section short and (bitterly?) sweet. As with many of you, I love the instant gratification that one can get from sharing stories in real time. That immediate feedback helps us grow and keeps us motivated. Trouble is, such an opportunity can be a bit addictive, to the point that our bigger works (novels, screenplays, the next Pulitzer Prize winner) suffer and wither. There has to be a balance between immediate and eventual productivity, and, for me, the scales are way out of whack toward the immediate. Some of my budding literary offspring have been essentially orphaned.

I have multiple projects in stasis, including a short-story collection that is this close to final draft, with very minor tweaks left to perform. But I haven’t touched that collection in months. I sign into Medium, get to cracking, and suddenly it’s six hours later and I haven’t edited a single word in that collection or even bothered to open the draft.

Balance. It’s important, and I’ve been forgetting that lately.

10.2 I’m tired of chasing the boomerang.

I spend a lot of time on Medium, many hours, every day. I read and I read and I read and I clap and I clap and I clap. (And I throw out comments, here and there, sparingly. Review plot point #7, above, for reasons concerning the sparing.) Hell, even after I’ve read a piece, I will then click on the “Listen” option and let that thing play, because I want to make sure the author gets full reading time credit for my perusal. (And, when appropriate, I share those articles on Twitter.) That’s the school I come from, wherein you do whatever you can to support the writers that you appreciate.

Sadly, this process doesn’t seem to gain me much traction in Medium World. I can read 50-plus stories from “new to me” writers in a given day, clapping away, doing my bit as cheerleader and supporter. And what do I get in return? Maybe two of those 50 will even bother to visit my page. That’s a lot of investment for little dividend. What is wrong with the social etiquette on this site, with so many people not respecting the respect they are being given?

Now, I do have to say this: I have a small but faithful contingent of followers who will happily read and clap and comment on everything I share. I heart them greatly, I really do, and I hope none of them are offended by this piece. It’s not about you. This is about the countless people on Medium who are so self-absorbed that they cannot fathom the concept of do unto others as you would hope they do unto you.

The relentless grind of the rinse-and-repeat futility has worn me down.

It’s not about the money. As I’ve mentioned in several pieces throughout my time on Medium, it’s never been about the money. It’s about finding an audience for my stories. I write because I want to share things that people will enjoy. Granted, there’s a definite style to my writing that is not going to appeal to everyone. I get that. (I’m not fond of every writer that I encounter, either.) But I’m just not understanding why gaining traction on Medium is such a huge and often fruitless endeavor.

With my efforts on other writing platforms (Blogger for 5 years, followed by 10 years on WordPress, random experiments here and there with other sites), the experience was completely different. Sure, there were some dry months in the beginning with each platform, with tumbleweeds blowing and nothing significant happening. But I always managed to gain a respectable and (more importantly) consistent following. And the audiences and interactions kept growing.

That’s not happening here on Medium.

In fact, based on this month’s stats so far, I’m headed toward the most least-read and least-clapped month I’ve had in over a year. (And this is not a blip. My stats have been in slow-motion free-fall since last December, which was apparently the pinnacle of my Medium journey.) There’s no satisfaction in that. More importantly, it highlights the fact that I’m either doing something wrong (very possible, fully admit, re-read the above plot points) or that Medium is simply not the place for me and my writing style, my choice of subjects, my perhaps ill-fated belief that if you align the words just so, fellow writers will appreciate the effort and approve of the alignment.

And yes, I fully realize that all of this sounds a bit whiny and self-centered. Perhaps it is. (Don’t all writers have a bit of vanity in them, based on the mere fact that they think their words are important enough to share?) But at the end of the day (cliché alert!), life is too short to keep doing things that don’t make you happy. I’m nearly 60 years old, and there are only so many words I will be able to share before I exit, stage left. I want to find a place where sharing my stories is gratifying, not a challenge. I want an audience, not the fallout of an algorithm. And, most importantly, once more on the vanity limb, I want a playing field that is fair, where those who work hard and consistently craft quality stories are eventually rewarded for their efforts.

For me, right now, that place does not seem to be Medium.

Still, I have faint traces of hope. I just need to make a decision.

I’ll keep you posted.

Cheers.

Yes, the title of this piece is a movie reference. And the subtitle is a song reference. Those of you who get me should not be surprised…

And it’s worth repeating: To those of you who have been wonderfully supportive friends during my sojourn on Medium, it hurts my heart to contemplate the possibility of saying goodbye. But I do hope you understand that sometimes personal salvation involves closing doorways, however cherished those doorways might be…