Medical Gaslighting
How to Recognize It and What You Should Do
One of the hardest parts about suffering from an invisible illness is how incredibly isolating, and alone it can make you feel. This is due in part to the symptoms of most autoimmune and chronic illnesses seeming insignificant to the medical world compared to the more evident issues they deal with. This truth is proven by the shocking fact that it takes 4 ½ years for a person suffering from a chronic illness to be diagnosed on average.
As these symptoms progress overtime without being treated, the sufferer’s chronic illness will begin creeping up slowly enough that it doesn’t cause alarm to anyone around them but just enough that their life will slowly start to fall apart, both physically and mentally.
The first doctor I saw told me my initial symptoms were due to being too fat. She explained that my body hurt all over, I was exhausted, nor could I breathe properly because my naturally small frame couldn’t handle all the extra weight I had gained recently.
I went home and cried that day. Little did I know I had just had my first experience with medical gaslighting. That doctor made me question my own symptoms and sanity. Had she ordered the correct bloodwork that corresponded with my symptoms or had referred me to a specialist, then perhaps my health today wouldn’t be as detrimental. Unfortunately, instead, she decided to prescribe me an appetite suppressant… mind you, I am almost six years in recovery for an eating disorder (at the time only two years), and she knew this as we had begun this appointment talking about my mental health history and how much I had struggled over the years with it. But to her, my weight gain was the more significant issue.
Medical gaslighting isn’t new, but the term has become popularized recently due to society’s recognition of gaslighting being a form of abuse.
How Can You Recognize it in a Medical Setting?
· Minimizing or dismissing your symptoms
· Refusing to do imaging or diagnosis test
· Not following up when test come back clear but symptoms are still there
· Blaming symptoms on mental health or weight issues
These are just a few examples of medical gaslighting, but anyone can fall victim if you are in the position of being sick and not being heard.
What Can You Do?
If you feel you are being gaslighted by a medical professional, then it is crucial that you continue to fight for your health to get the proper care. That being said it is also essential to have respect for the doctor you are seeing.
In the moment
Take a deep breath! It is important not to raise your voice. Unfortunately, this will give the medical professional you are talking to more reason to suspect that your symptoms may be psychological or to have doubt in what you are telling them.
I have found it best in this situation to say, “I don’t think you understand what I’m trying to communicate to you during this appointment. I’m suffering.” This is a simple way of sense if they are gaslighting you on purpose or if communication was the issue.
If They Continue to Dismiss You
If it is possible, ask to speak to a different nurse or doctor during that appointment. Don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself in a calm, demanding way. If this doesn’t help, then go home. Regroup.
What To Do Next
If you have health insurance, then first call your health insurance company (that little customer service number on the back of your card) and file a complaint. This will help in multiple ways, including if you need to see a different doctor in the future for the same issue, it is vital to have some kind of documentation of why the first doctor couldn’t help you. In most cases, I’ve found that insurance companies don’t like you jumping around from doctor to doctor, so it can be important to keep them in the loop.
Next, I suggest calling the practice to file a complaint. Why? Because if you are experiencing these issues with a health care professional, you are most likely not the only one. This is also an excellent time to see if you can be matched with a different doctor at the practice if that is what you wish to do. Even if the practice isn’t accepting new patients, if you can tell them your extraordinary circumstances, most of the time, switching doctors isn’t an issue.
See a new doctor
During your next meeting, it is crucial to establish a relationship with them before jumping into your symptoms as much as you may be on the edge of your seat by the time you finally see a doctor who you feel will listen to you.
Spend the first few minutes of your appointment asking them some questions- even though doctors are often rushed and have limited time, I find that taking the time creating a relationship with your healthcare professional increases the chances they’ll listen to you going forward.
Medical gaslighting is a real thing. It is terrifying to be dismissed or told you are fine when you feel like your body and mind are falling apart. But it is important to continue to fight for your health until you get the answers you deserve.