SATIRE

McDonald’s Announces Plans To Raise Prices Due To Inflation

Say goodbye to cheap soda and fries

In a bid to combat inflation, McDonald’s has suddenly raised the price of every item on their menu by $100. For example, a Cheeseburger will cost $101, effective immediately.

“We only take hundred dollar bills now,” said Justin Case, a restaurant manager who has been accused of being overly cautious about inflation. “While I’m empathetic to people’s concerns, supply chain bottlenecks are wreaking havoc on our profits. I only got a $50k bonus last year. The economy is making life difficult for all of us.”

White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki addressed the country this morning to discuss inflation. “We are aware that McDonald’s is raising prices,” she said. “The President is concerned about not getting his daily McFlurry and is actively working to find a solution to this problem.”

Psaki continued to say that Joe Biden empathizes with the American people as he remembers when it was possible to buy a hamburger for 15 cents in 1955. “As you might expect, the President is devoting all of his time and energy to ensuring that we get prices back down to where they were in the good ol’ days.”

At the time of writing, US inflation is at a 40-year high, per The Guardian.“The rise in the consumer price index (CPI) survey — which measures the costs of a wide variety of goods — was the largest since February 1982.”

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Disclaimer: This article is satire and for entertainment purposes only. It’s a joke, so please don’t take it seriously. Statements and/or quotes are fictional and should be treated as such.