Is This Why You Are Feeling So Empty?

This is what I have found

Do you also have this idea in your head, forever with you, that your future should look a certain way? I have. In fact, for about as long I can remember I have had an image in mind about becoming successful, making it big, and reaching countless huge goals. Now I came up with the idea that this might be the sole reason for the emptiness I am feeling, and just maybe it is also the reason for you.

Awareness

Just recently I have become a little more aware of these ideas, and that they have become part of who I am, my identity. These ideas are even so much part of my identity that for the longest time I haven’t been able to distinguish them from myself. Are you aware of the things you are telling yourself, or are they part of your identity as well?

Conditions for happiness

These ‘things’ that are holding you back from being happy, I will call them conditions for happiness, are not always chosen by yourself. Often these conditions are being forced onto you by society and your upbringing. For most of this, you did not have much choice, if any choice at all. There is probably not much you could have done about this, so there is no point complaining about it.

The big problem, however, arises when you get older. You become the only person that is responsible for who you are, and what your conditions are. All of a sudden you become a bit more conscious of yourself, and you are now the one that is behind the steering wheel. From now on, you are the one that is in charge of the conditions for your happiness, but most people never take this responsibility. Do you?

Chasing your own tail

If you do not make the conscious choice to take charge of your conditions for happiness, you will forever be chasing the things that will supposedly make you happy. All of this happens while you are the one that is in control of the conditions for your happiness. This is like chasing your own tail for your whole life, without ever realising that it is your own tail that you are after.

The way out

The only way out of this endless loop, this never-ending chase of trying to fill the emptiness inside, is to stop making your current situation insufficient. Because of these conditions for your happiness, and not having fulfilled these conditions, you explicitly state that you then must be unhappy now. By taking away these conditions you enable yourself to be happy at all times, no matter the circumstances. This is the only true way to gain power over your own happiness.

Of course, this is easier said than done, but the first step is to become aware of this all. There is no right or wrong way to do this, although there are a few ways that have worked well for a lot of people, including me. My personal favorites are:

• Meditation
• Journalling
• Asking yourself questions

Often when it gets uncomfortable when you are using one of these methods, it means that you are about to find out something that isn’t quite right yet. Don’t give up and keep questioning and listening to yourself when the going gets tough. Write down what you have realised and reflected on this until you fully understand how what you have found out has had power over you, and how you can let it go now.

If you feel the need to boost your feelings in the short term, this article helps a lot of people to do just that.

Thanks for reading my article. If you have any feedback or want to share your thoughts, please leave a comment and I will get back to you!

If you would also like to receive my best insights, then click here to subscribe to my newsletter.