Maybe It’s Not You, Maybe It’s Them

Maybe it’s their insecurities, doubts and fears.

We’re often told we’re too “this” and too “that” by those closest to us, sometimes even by our parents, which is heartbreaking and damaging to repetitively hear as a child. As adults, it is our responsibility to detach ourselves from these labels that have been placed on us without our consent. As adults, it is our duty to take up the observer’s role and consider the possibility that those labels are, perhaps, merely projections of other’s people insecurities, doubts or fears.

Sometimes, one person’s “You’re too opiniated” is another person’s “I love that you have all sorts of ideas”. One person’s “You’re a loner” is another person’s “I love that you like alone time”. Someone may call us selfish, whilst another may admire us for standing up for ourselves and setting boundaries. Expressing our nuances doesn’t make us difficult, it means we value our fullness, even though a lot of people are inclined to disagree with this fullness.

There’s a time for self reflection and improvement and a time for “I am good enough as I am”. We’re not going to be for everyone and everyone is not going to be for us. We ought to remember that sometimes what others say it’s about them and them alone and has nothing to do with us.

We are not responsible for living out the version of ourselves others have created in their head. Everyday we get to decide what we should take onboard and what isn’t for us to waste energy on.

Remember, maybe sometimes it’s not us. Maybe it’s them and their insecurities, doubts and fears.

Thank you for your time!

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