May Sarton, the Meaning of Life and Compliance with Your True Self

A memoirist’s journey through life and observations on the challenge of abiding by your true self

May Sarton was the pen name of Eleonore Marie Sarton (May 3, 1912 — July 16, 1995), a Belgian-American poet, novelist, and memoirist. Her best work is her strongly personalized memoir writing.

I read her for inspiration in my days of recovering from early career mistakes. In this essay, I will explore her ideas on life’s meaning and compliance with your true self.

Man’s Purpose

“The purpose of a man’s life is to give to others what is in him…we only have what are, and we only have what we give.” This quote from Florida Scott Maxwell, The Measure of my Days conveys a common answer to the meaning of life question.

The ‘helping others’ label is one I hear most often. In casting about for other views, I found several that intrigued me.

It is in answer to the following kind of questions that answers can be found. Such questions as “why are we here” or “What is life about” or “What is the purpose of existence.?”

Researchers in positive psychology propose a meaning of life that focuses on life satisfaction. In addition, they favor that life’s purpose pertains to full engagement in activities that utilize one’s personal strengths. These are the so-called ‘flow’ activities popularized by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.

Flow Experiences

Large studies of flow experiences have suggested that humans experience meaning and fulfillment when mastering challenging tasks and not from the results of those tasks.

A classic example is two workers on a boring production line in a factory. One treats the work as a tedious chore, while the other turns it into a game to see how fast she can make each unit and achieves flow in the process.

This is meaning-making by framing and interpretation rather than producing a result that provides some satisfaction.

The Sociological View

Sociology examines the meaning question by suggesting that meaning is derived from a fundamental fear of death; it proposes that values are selected when they allow us to escape the mental reminder of death. (I have always been charmed by the sociological definition of death as an ‘unscheduled status passage.’)

Benefits of A Meaningful Purpose

Some new research shows that meaning in life predicts better physical health outcomes. Greater meaning has been associated with a reduced risk of Alzheimer’s disease,[26] reduced risk of heart attack among individuals with coronary heart disease,[27] reduced risk of stroke,[28] and increased longevity.

Hence the suggestion that having a firm purpose in life helps ensure a healthy life and fulfilling one as well.

Staying True to Your Self

May Sarton was also known for reflecting on staying loyal to your true self and abiding by your goals and ideals.

She was interested in staying true to your word. In her words, it was:

“The ordeal of being true to your own inner way; this must stand high in the list of ordeals. It is like being in the power of someone you cannot reach, know, or move but who never lets you go. It is not easy to be sure that being yourself is worth the trouble, but we know it is our sacred duty, and that is to trust one’s own self whatever the world may say or believe. “

I find this to be a provocative idea. It highlights the importance of being loyal to your inner guide or whatever you choose to call the originator of your ideals.

Fighting Through Failure

Conflicts inevitably arise in whatever you are trying to achieve. I am most familiar with the challenges of personal changes, like smoking cessation and weight control.

The conflicts are typically around relapse. You set a series of rules to follow to help attain an objective. But temptations arise, and try as you might, you fall by the wayside.

The conflict with smoking cessation is the presence of other smokers with their own supplies, so easy to approach and ask for a handout. Or you find your cravings spiking after a meal, or with coffee.

Only repeated acts of restraint will eventually add up to success. However, this must be learned and acted upon. And the ‘want to’ must be strong enough to help you succeed. Only repeated failures responded to by renewed efforts saved the day.

In weight loss, the same pattern occurs of excessive temptations that ensure short-term failure over and over. Again, you must repeat the cycle until the lesson is learned that no means no, now and in the near term.

So, my experience taught me that compliance with your own admonitions was, at first, a failure game. You had to fight through many failures before success could be achieved.

Conclusion

May Sarton was a Belgian-American poet, novelist, and memoirist. Her best work is her strongly personalized memoir writing. Sarton’s essay “Man’s Purpose” discusses the meaning of life and the purpose of existence. She suggests that the purpose of a man’s life is to give to others what is in him. Other views are explored, such as the idea that life’s purpose pertains to full engagement in activities that utilize one’s personal strengths. The sociological view is also mentioned along with other alternative views.

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