May both the Los Angeles Rams and the Cincinnati Bengals Lose Today’s Super Bowl LVI

I no longer care about football, the NFL, or the Super Bowl, and I despise both teams.

Throughout the 1980’s and the 1990’s, I was keenly aware of which teams were playing in the Super Bowl.

I would, at a minimum, know which teams made it there, where it was being played, what time the game started, the quarterbacks for each team, and which team was favored to win.

Flash-forward to 2022, and I just found out yesterday that the Big Game is today. I made a point of finding out which teams were playing a couple of hours ago. Although I read two articles about today’s upcoming game, I don’t recall the names of either quarterback. I think one might be Matt.

Since the decline of the three big TV networks , ABC, CBS, and NBC, football has been relegated to the back burner of the Sunday BBQ in my mind.

Other things took priority, like work or grocery shopping.

Then came the Michael Vick controversy, when the all-star quarterback was caught betting on dog fighting. That was followed by the controversial kneeling episode for Black Lives Matter and the politicization of football.

This happened after the three networks lost the firm grip they had held on exclusive broadcasting rights to all NFL games to the emerging cable stations Fox and ESPN.

Following Fox and ESPN came the NFL network, and then likely more TV stations beyond that, but I wouldn’t’ know. It was about then that my last lifeline tying my Sundays to watching NFL football snapped.

I started to drift away from the reason I had a big screen TV in the first place.Watching NFL football became an activity that I used to participate in when I was a kid.

Three years ago, I tried to watch the Super Bowl.

I did as I would have done normally in the 80’s or 90’s, I turned on the TV expecting to see it on one of the stations as I flipped through the channels. The first problem I encountered is that one no longer “flips through the channels.”

My Roku TV is subdivided very differently than TVs I watched in the past. Finding the Super Bowl and watching it on my TV was a process that required putting in some time and effort.

I had to call Hulu, or Sling TV, or whatever non-cable company provided me with my TV channels. I barely change the TV channel away from YouTube anymore.

After searching the internet and spending 10 minutes on hold with one of those companies, I was finally able to pay $5 to be granted access to watch the Super Bowl. That was the last NFL game I watched.

Three years more have passed since then. It’s been over a decade since I automatically turn on the TV on Sundays to keep up with the NFL games.

This year is Super Bowl LVI, or Super Bowl 56 for us non-Romans.

It is being played in Inglewood, California at a stadium called SoFi. SoFi is short for Social Finance, Inc., the company which, apparently, financially backed the $5.5 billion cost of constructing “an unprecedented and unparalleled sports and entertainment destination.”

I looked to see where SoFi Stadium is on the map. Wait a minute, isn’t that where Hollywood Park Racetrack is located? Isn’t that where I spent the springs of 1981 through 1984 watching John Henry, Desert Wine, and other world-class thoroughbreds gallop towards the finish line of million dollar Grade III races?

Yes, the location is one and the same. I remember reading about the closure of Hollywood Park in passing a few years ago. The popularity of thoroughbred horse racing has certainly plummeted since the days when John Henry was on his way to becoming the most financially successful horse in thoroughbred racing history.

John Henry retired at the ripe old age of 9, a venerable age unheard of for thoroughbreds even in the 1980s. He won over $6.5 million far surpassing then record holder Spectacular Bid’s $2.8 million in winnings. Now, in 2022, John Henry’s measly $6.5 million has him listed at #38 of the most financially successful racehorses of all-time.

John Henry died at the age of 32 in 2007. A horse called Arrogate is now the #1 money winner of all-time. His 11 starts pale in comparison to John Henry’s 89. But I digress, this post if about Super Bowl LVI.

The advertising cost for a 30-second spot this year averages $6.5 million.

The same amount John Henry won over 7 years of racing.

This year’s Super Bowl in Inglewood, California being played on the former Hollywood Park Racecourse will be between the Los Angeles Rams and the Cincinnati Bengals.

The Los Angeles Rams hail from that most hateful city to the north of San Diego, Los Angeles.

Los Angeles is a cesspool of superficiality, crime and pollution. At least, being a San Diegan, that’s what I was raised to believe.

San Diego, more than a 2 hour drive south, was once erroneously believed to be a suburb of Los Angeles back in the 1970s. That’s probably why San Diego at the time developed a culture of hatred towards our neighbor to the north.

Besides, San Diego had a football team, the Chargers. Los Angeles didn’t have any. Now L.A. has two and San Diego doesn’t have one. This is one of several reasons I cannot bring myself to cheer for the Rams in today's Super Bowl.

Their opponent, is the underhanded, cheating Cincinnati Bengals.

On January 10, 1982, the notoriously most penalized team in the league, the Cincinnati Bengals, beat the Chargers, the team that was from perpetually sunny San Diego in what has come to be known as the Freezer Bowl.

This game from 1982 is still on record as being the coldest game in NFL football history.

The week before, the Chargers beat the Miami Dolphins at a cozy temperate 84 degrees. The Bengals, of course, must have called upon the powers of the Devil to provide them with the ice-cold chill needed to defeat the Chargers the next Sunday.

The Bengals have a long history of cheating against the Chargers. It was either the year before 1982 or the year after when the Bengals once again resorted to cheating, defeating the Chargers in a game 3–0. The entire game was played on the snow without either team being able to move the football very far.

Neither team managed many first-downs, never mind getting close enough to score. It was then, in the final seconds of the fourth quarter, that the Bengals decided to plow the field for their home team kicker, providing him with the stability needed to kick the game winning field goal, breaking the 0–0 tie.

These are the main reasons I cannot cheer for the Bengals. I still remember their duplicitous ways from 40 years ago.

Promises of big money from L.A. steals the soul of the San Diego Chargers.

The Chargers have since moved on from the anemic market of San Diego jumping on a puddle jumper taking them 2 ½ hours to the north, rebranding themselves as the Los Angeles Chargers. May the greedy traitors never again know a postseason berth.

The Rams, I suppose, are also traitorous according to the citizens of St. Louis, sneaking away under cover of night attracted to the promises of wealth and luxury offered by glitzy Los Angeles.

There you have it. Two traitorous, cheating, greedy teams vying for the title of Super Bowl LVI.

Apparently, you can watch the game on NBC. I’d be hard-pressed to tell you where to find NBC on my TV these days.

I haven’t decided yet whether or not I will make an effort to find and watch the game. I certainly won’t be paying $5 for the game. I might pay $5 to boo both teams.

I hope they both lose.

As Michael Vick likely said many times, “I don’t have a dog in this fight.”

As we all know though, the Super Bowl isn’t really about football, it’s about the entertaining and witty commercials that companies spend the whole year and millions of dollars to produce, premiering them on Super Bowl Sunday.

That’s gotta be worth at least $5 in my playbook.