Masturbation is Healthy and Natural

I grew up thinking masturbating was a sin. I did it anyway.

There has been a strange condemnation of masturbation for as long as I can remember. It was something everyone pretended they didn’t do. It was a sin, it was for losers, it was gross, it was the ultimate insult. Yet 60% of men and 37% of women have masturbated in the last month and 37% of men and 9% of women have masturbated every week for the last year. (These numbers are from this excellent research on masturbation.) For comparison, 40% of people have partnered sex once per week.

We masturbate. We do it for all sorts of reasons. We do it even when we are in a sexual relationship. The fact that we do it means we’ve always done it. Our sexual behaviors co-evolved with us. All the sexual things human beings do, we’ve always been doing. Oral sex, anal sex, bisexual sex, masturbation — it’s all natural. Masturbation in particular is a solo activity which guarantees its ubiquity through the ages. We’ve always masturbated.

Far from being a vile or pathetic activity, masturbation is good for you. There are no known health risks from masturbating. It’s good for your brain and your heart. It can relieve stress and sexual tension. It’s good for your sexual systems, especially as you age. Use it or lose it! It’s a wonderful act of self-love — being alive, having a body, enjoying ourselves in an intimate and private way. It’s a gift.

So, um, masturbate! It’s fun! Also, let other people masturbate! Give them space for it, don’t shame them for it. It’s OK if your partner masturbates. They are not cheating on you. Join them! And find some time for yourself, too. You won’t go to hell.