MasterClass Now Offers Courses Taught by Famous Dead Writers

Authors of classic literature have secrets to teach you for a price

Leo Tolstoy’s “Make Your Partner Do Half the Work and Give Them No Credit”

The master of Russian literature has a lot to teach you about crafting a story that will last through the ages. Primarily by having someone else do the bulk of it. Your wife or whatever life partner you procure will suffice. You’re the idea-person, the genius. They are the lowly being who will transform your words into a manuscript. Once you find someone else to verbally abuse as they get your words (which are more important than their mental health) onto the page, you’re golden.

Jane Austen’s “Write What You Know But Avoid Talk Any Mention of Unpleasantness”

Austen uses her knowledge to help new writers capture their world, no matter how small and mundane it appears to be. In fact, she prefers to keep it small. There might be things happening, like wars with Napoleon, but readers aren’t here for that. They want to escape uncertainty and dive into the familiar. If you have ever looked around your home and thought, “I bet I could write a novel that all takes place here,” then this is the class for you.

William Shakespeare “Put a Bear in it: Dealing with Writer’s Block”

The playwright is here to tell students that he too struggled with creative obstacles. Like the plague, for example. Still, he didn’t allow that to stop him from becoming one of the most well-known writers in his industry. His tips will enable you to power through when you have no idea how to move the plot forward. Giving someone a twin, putting a bear in a scene, or making someone talk while drunk are only a few of the secrets you’ll discover in this course.

Mary Elizabeth Brandon’s “Ignore the critics and give readers what they want”

Forget the snobs who will look down on you for creating sensational books full of steamy affairs, clichés, and other audience favorites. Here’s a secret for you, they’re actually read your novels, but never admit it. Sale numbers don’t lie. This is why Brandon’s tips for success are all about being true to your love of the cheap thrill. Make them laugh, make them cry, make them gasp, and before you know it you’ll be making money.

Ernest Hemingway’s “Drink Your Way to a Novel”

Here you will learn the basics of drinking the alcohol of your choice while writing the next great classic. Take a shot after finishing a chapter. Sip sophisticated cocktails as you search your brain for the right words. Drink another shot every time you cut out words you didn’t need. Drink however much is required to explain what impotence feels like. Then learn how to wake up the next morning and edit through the hangover.

Charles Dickens’ “Figure Out Who Your Audience Is So You Can Guilt Them Into Buying Your Books”

He wrote about orphans and found fans who habitually ignored the lower class. Dickens is a master of marketing. He understands human psychology and the need to feel like a good person. Which is how he will explain that most readers want to read novels about people doing good deeds. Write a novel which they can quote from to seem like a better person than they are.