Master Your Focus Wisely. It will make you Happy and Attractive

Find out about the many benefits that mastering your focus has

Where focus goes, energy flows. — Tony Robbins

Are not you tired of multitasking? I’ve noticed that the more I try to multitask, the more my life becomes a blur.

For a long time it was my firm conviction; being able to multitask properly belongs to a powerful, successful woman. And this skill was also very important to me. Combine it with perfectionism, and it is a good recipe to get completely exhausted and above all not to achieve what you really would want to achieve in your life.

I once had a beautiful, somewhat ‘blurred’ vision. You know, that picture of a woman lovingly cradling a baby on one arm while she holds a smartphone against her ear simultaneously stirring in a pan of bolognese sauce. Rehearsing the speech she has to deliver the next morning in her head. Effortless and dressed in the latest stylish smart casual wear for businesswomen, navy skirt, white blouse.

It didn’t work out… Specifically, those tomato juice spots on that white shirt never really came out…

It was, therefore, quite a relief when I read the book The Myth of Multi-tasking by Dave Crenshaw, in which he explains why doing everything at once is neither efficient nor even possible. Multitasking is a myth. It just plain doesn’t exist.

Multitasking. A polite way of telling someone you haven’t heard a word they’ve said. — Dave Crenshaw

You know, multitasking is a myth

Does that come as a surprise to you? Multitasking has become something of a heroic word in our vocabulary. You find it as a desired and required quality in many job descriptions, and many people pride themselves on their ability to ‘multitask’. But in fact, multitasking hurts us every time we try to engage in it. It is deceptively counter-productive and tremendously costly.

By multitasking, I mean simultaneously performing two or more things that require mental effort and attention. For clarity’s sake, I am not referring to doing something completely mindless and mundane in the background such as doing fitness while listening to a Spotify Playlist, eating dinner in front of the TV watching the news, or having that noisy machine copying while you answer emails. That is called ‘background tasking’.

By multitasking I mean those — often very unpolite — habits like trying to have a meaningful conversation with a family member while checking on your stock portfolio or your smartphone, reading the latest post on Medium about blockchain technology while attempting to listen to a podcast, pretending to listen to a colleague while working on a budgeting spreadsheet and answering emails at the same time…

Of course, you can read while eating your sandwich. But your thinking brain can not process multiple tasks at the same time.

Now you might say ‘Yes, but we all know that women are so good at multitasking. Better than men’.

No, they’re not.

It’s a myth.

Women cannot multitask better than men.

What women can generally do better is planning and combining routine tasks. A dinner that you’ve already cooked multiple times, you can more or less do on your autopilot. But if you have to prepare a menu from a recipe from scratch, you need to focus on what you’re doing. Writing a post-it to remind you that you have to buy detergent, you can almost do mindlessly, writing a blog, on the other hand, you’ll have to do with all your attention.

Don’t get me wrong. It is not that multitasking doesn’t work. The point is that multitasking isn’t possible. The truth is we really cannot do two things at the same time. We are only one person with only one brain. Neurologically speaking, it has been proven to be impossible.

As Crenshaw explains, what we’re actually doing when trying to handle multiple tasks at once is switching between them. We switch back and forth between two tasks rapidly, paying attention here, typing there, checking something here, answering voicemail…. We just do it so fast that it seems like we’re working on several to-dos simultaneously.

In our brain, the prefrontal cortex is active when we perform conscious actions. Both brain halves are engaged and needed when we focus on one task. Add to this a second task, and the brain literally splits in half. The right half deals with one task, the left one takes care of the other task, working independently from each other towards their own goal.

It is impossible to keep the same attention up for both tasks. It is inevitable that you’ll have to devote more attention to one of the tasks. One of the brain halves that deals with one task will be dominant until you switch your attention to another task.

You can actively switch your focus, for example when you decide to read a part of the recipe you’re cooking while talking on the phone to your husband. Or a switch can be triggered by your environment, forcing you to redirect your attention. For instance, you’re writing on your next Medium post and one of your family members starts talking to you. This is called passive switching.

The more often you switch, the more you send your efficiency down the drain; by directing less brain power for shorter periods of time at the tasks at hand.

A task consists out of a logical sequence of follow-up actions, for instance, finishing typing a message. So if you want to perform a task properly, the minimum requirement is that you focus your attention at least for the amount of time needed to finish the next logical action that is part of the task. Otherwise, you will never completely and correctly finish a sentence of the message that you’re writing.

So far, we’ve only talked about two tasks and we only have two brain halves. Imagine what happens if you throw in the third task…

Yep. Chaos.

Every time you switch, no matter how quickly that switch takes place in your brain, it comes with a price, a so-called ‘switching cost’. The longer you keep the switch-tasking up over a long period of time, the higher the cost.

Eventually, it’ll lead to deeply ingrained habits that cause stress and anxiety, concentration problems, a decrease in productivity and dropped responsibilities.

In summary, multitasking doesn't really help a thing, for:

• You’ll only perform at 60% of your ability
• You need more time and energy for the same amount of work
• You make more mistakes
• It gives stress

It is a fact that in our current society due to the technological possibilities, we try to attract each other’s attention continuously and in multiple ways. Before you know it you are available online 24/7. No wonder so many people nowadays complain of increasingly short attention spans and becoming more and more short-fused.

Until it depletes your energy so much, that you come to the point that you cannot do anything anymore. Instead of multitasking, you’re zero-tasking.

Multitasking leads to zero-tasking

Basically, my assumption would be that our attempts to ‘multitask’ might be at the basis of or at least one of the root causes of the increase in mental illnesses we are currently experiencing, such as attention deficit disorder, anxiety disorders, burn-outs, depression…

So, multitasking doesn’t really help anything or even leads to zero-tasking….

And then just this … (sexy detail).

There is another good reason not to multitask! And that’s about loving what you do!

Choosing one task is like having a date with this task. It is you and this piece of work and nothing else. You focus all your attention and energy on this. No distraction from other people, your smartphone, social media or mail.

Imagine yourself having a dinner with a partner or fresh love. I’m quite sure your focus is gonna be all eyes and ears to that gorgeous person in front of you!

It won’t be easy to turn and stick to unitasking, in fact, it can be rather difficult, for you will have to give NO for an answer to people and things.

But think of the advantages…… you’ll experience more peace, less stress and anxiety, you’ll sleep better, you’ll feel better, you’ll have more overview and you’ll get way more done. While it is also better for your self-confidence. So so worth it!

Dare to make powerful choices when it comes to directing your attention. After all, you determine what will get your attention. The more attention you give, the better the result.

The time that leads to mastery is dependent on the intensity of our focus. — Robert Greene

If you want to achieve something, having one-pointed attention (focus) is very important. Nevertheless, many people struggle to remain focused over a longer period.

Here are 7 tips to directly improve your focus and to start with unitasking:

• Envision your goals, count your blessings. what is it you want to achieve with unitasking? More overview, more self-confidence, more productivity… And then, if you do achieve something on your path towards a goal, count your blessings, for it will motivate you to keep your attention on the envisioned goal.
• Prioritize your tasks. If you have several important tasks to do in one day, determine the order in which you will execute them. So first complete a task before you start the next one.
• Block time frames in your calendar for unitasking. Of course, you can also decide that unitasking is your new way of living…
• Customize your environment. It may sound very logical, but your environment is decisive for the quality of your focus. Provide an environment with little distraction. Put everything aside that you do not need to perform your unitasking. Close unnecessary open tabs on your computer, empty your desk…
• Switch of all distracting devices. If there is something that shatters your attention throughout the day, then that is your smartphone. So if you have to focus for a longer period of time, then it is best to put your smartphone away or at least switch off all your notifications.
• Work with deadlines. At the moment you work under time pressure, hormonal processes take place in your brain that are conducive to your focus. Also, meeting a deadline means more motivation because your reward center in your brain delivers happiness hormones when you are done on time with your activity.
• Set a timer, so you don’t have to pay attention to the time. There are great App’s for that, for instance, Sinem Günel recommends a great App in one of her posts: the Forest App

If you are still not convinced you should focus all your attention on unitasking, here are some convincing advantages of focusing:

Advantages of Focussing

Focus makes you happy

Where Attention Goes, Energy Flows and Results Show — T harv Ecker

That is what having the right focus is all about. A yoga expert once wrote:

‘Fixing your gaze … not only concentrates your mind but at the same time brings our energy to that.’

Here are some reasons why clear focus gives our well-being and happiness a boost:

A clear focus improves concentration and prevents distraction

It helps to determine which matters are most important to be able to grow at this moment and also makes it possible to prioritize them. Which will help you to achieve your goals? Which adds to your happiness?

Clear focus contributes to balance and reduces stress

A clear focus gives our brain a rest. There is a strong relationship between our brain and our eyes. For example, ‘locking’ our eyes will send signals to our parasympathetic nervous system — the part of the involuntary nervous system that serves to slow the heart rate, increase intestinal and glandular activity, and relax the sphincter muscles — that everything is okay.

The result is that we feel calm. If, on the other hand, we move our eyes back and forth quickly, we give our brain signals that our situation is not right. Then we feel nervous and stressed.

Focus on a mental image leads to a calm mind

A good visualization also helps us to get a calm mind. To focus our thoughts on a clear mental image where you want to be — a goal — and to focus on envisioning the right path towards it. Which is pleasurable, because — even though we do not see those images in reality — they’ll help is to feel calm and happier.

For when in our brain too many different images continually fight for priority, which happens when you’re switch-tasking all the time, our parasympathetic system experiences the same as when we really would be constantly moving our eyes in circles, up-down, left-right, up-down, left-right …namely more and more stress … Try it for a minute, I think you’ll get the point very quickly.

Choose your focus wisely

One of the most important lessons from psychology is that what we perceive, what we see in our environment, is really a matter of focus. We miss out on seeing (the right) things way more easy than we realize when we focus our attention on the wrong things. We perceive much more selectively than we realize.

Seeing is a matter of focus. In fact, you notice what you focus on. The opposite is also true: you often fail to notice what your attention is not focused on. When your vision is ‘blurred’ by not focusing and therefore having your eyes rapidly moving to anything that catches your attention, leading to unguided action, you’ll miss out on the things that are important to you and your life.

You yourself have an enormous influence on how you perceive and experience the world around you. Our brain can only process a relatively small part of the information that comes to us at any time, namely, our brain can only extract 60 bits of information from the 11.2 million bits that are sent to us every second.

A good focus will help you to make an ‘abundance of information’ tolerable. In this era of endless streams of information and incentives, focus will help you to decide what you want to see and what you want to avoid…

So by choosing your focus wisely, by vividly imagining where you want to go and how that will be, you can adjust and sharpen your information filter. We can more or less choose what we focus our attention on. This is by definition already happening, but with a certain amount of conscious attention, we can influence this choice better.

Which will help you to have more control over your life and therefore increase your happiness?

Focus is attractive!

If you are focused, you show more involvement, commitment, genuine attention, care, enthusiasm, and energy. These positive qualities will make others feel attracted to you. Keep in mind that people that lack focus are hard to get connected to and it is really difficult to tune into their energy.

Focus leads to positive flow

The art of focusing — choosing what you want to do and what not to — gives your creative ability a boost and allows you to move forward. Focusing on what you would want to achieve — a goal — makes you suddenly see a road, a feasible way to achieve your goal.

This will make you feel committed, inspire you to action and it allows you to move forward. And when you move forward, experiencing this personal progress will bring you in a positive flow.

When you start a project, keep in mind that — to be able to stay in this positive flow — it is important to stay focused on the ultimate goal and not just on the accomplishment goals.

To keep your attention during the journey on the ultimate goal that you are strongly committed to — what has yet to be accomplished rather than on what you have already accomplished (the accomplishment goals). This will motivate and inspire you to go on.

Otherwise, you will never finish that book, but maybe only the first three chapters!

By the way, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t count your blessings, be happy with what you’ve already achieved! Just do that at a later moment, for instance before you go to sleep :-)

Focus saves you time

Being focused is important but staying on a task is becoming harder and harder in our current world where symphonies of notifications can draw you out of whatever you’re doing in a split second.

Every time your mind wanders from what you’re doing, you’ll waste time and energy to get back on track. A recent study, No Task Left Behind: Examining the Nature of Fragmented Work, from the University of California calculated that it takes people an average of 25 minutes and 26 seconds to get back to work after being interrupted.

Interruptions are bound to happen, but when they happen several times per day, you’ll waste lots of time and energy. For every time you switch-task from your work, you’ll lose nearly half an hour of your precious time.

Of course, you would love to meet everyone’s wishes. But realize that that is both time-consuming and tiring. By focusing on the most important things, it allows you to let many things go and to say no. Otherwise, you’ll never think clearly, make the right decisions, solve your problems, finish something or even remember things.

Focus increases your productivity!

It is curious that when we realize that our personal productivity is not as good as we would like, the first thing we do is look for apps and methods to help us to get better organized or to get things done. But by using all the tools in the world that you love, there will always be times when you will not be particularly productive.

Personal productivity is a matter of habits and that means that, in this story, the main character is you. In these cases where you experience a lack of productivity, the problem usually lies with your focus.

You need to have discipline in the first place to focus. If you then maintain your focus and allow it to grow, this will strengthen your discipline and you will become increasingly productive. Because, for clarity’s sake, keeping your focus on the task you are performing is essential to cross it off your to-do list!

Focus creates wealth

With the right focus, you can focus your attention, creativity, and energy on perfectly, or at least adequately performing your work and on identifying and meeting the needs of your clients. This is the basis for personal wealth.

When you’re able to focus on the matter, people will perceive you as a reliable expert. A clear and powerful vision on ‘why’ you exist and about what you stand for, as an individual or as an organization, will have an enormous attraction and creates a magnetic effect on those clients who feel attracted to your expertise and added value.

Lack of direction, not lack of time, is the problem. We all have twenty-four-hour days. — Zig Ziglar

We all have the same amount of time in a day, in a week, in a month and in a year. How we allocate and dedicate our time to achieve our goal is what matters. We must know what we want and how we want to achieve it, we have to define our goal and focus on that goal.

So….. FOCUS!

Take a moment to imagine what it would be like when you start your day with complete FOCUS and then complete the following sentence in your head: ‘When I am totally focused, I reach …..’

Super good luck with focusing and unitasking! Surprise yourself with the amount of work you can do if you focus all your attention on one thing. And let me know how it went. Feel free to leave a comment below …..