Martin Lets Us Know He Will No Longer Be Taking Any Nonsense From Slackers Like Martin
A lesson in teacher training

I trained as a teacher at the turn of the century… I can only hope it has got a little better since then.
Martin wants us to know that the system is no longer going to stand people like him.
Martin wants us to know that people like him have been getting away with it for far too many years.
Martin wants us to know that this will no longer be tolerated.
Which is why we newbies, the new generation, the new breed of teachers, will be made to work harder, longer, and under more scrutiny than Martin did back when he was boozing away his Uni grant at the pub most evenings before rolling up to work the next morning — when he bothered to roll up to work the next morning — to teach through the frontal lobe clenches of his latest hangover.
When he would teach from the textbook, when he could focus on the textbook, sliding his way through another day before sloping off to the pub again at the end of it.
Martin tells us this, of course. This isn’t me putting the words in his mouth.
He recounts the bad old days for us.
When there was no National Curriculum, and the teachers could do what they liked without reference to the direct orders of the Secretary of State for Education (and the dark money paying his wages).
We, of course, will need to adhere strictly to the National Curriculum.
When there were no Literacy and Numeracy Strategies to instruct teachers on how exactly to spend their time.
We, of course, will have our English and Maths lessons entirely controlled by these august documents. And we will be appraised against them, too. Woe betide us if we go one minute under or over the prescribed ten minutes for the plenary. And, yes, our headteachers will be sitting in the corner with a clipboard and a stopwatch, because that’s what the friendly Ofsted inspectors will be doing to us, too.
We have to be prepared for such scrutiny.
Martin was never scrutinised to such a degree and look what it did to the children.
I work out his age. I consider my age. I’m 22. He’s in his early 50s. Look at what it did to the children, he says. They turned out to be people like me sitting here right now listening to him. He doesn’t say that, of course, but I’m thinking it. How can I not be thinking it?
Martin doesn’t say anything about what it did to the teachers of that generation, either.
But then, we can see it right in front of us, can’t we?
Martin is the man from the Local Authority. He has become a subject specialist and trainer by virtue of his years, his decades of teaching and his expertise. And the very nice jumpers he wears because, cynical though this might be, I am sure that the fact his appearance is so very congruent with the appearance of every one of the other Local Authority people I have ever met didn’t hurt him when it came to the promotion.
Or, indeed, his ability to pour scorn on everything he did when he was but a lowly class teacher himself.
Before promising to make us pay for it.
170+ Medium pieces in now (and over 500 since beginning my writing again after the worst happened nearly a decade ago…), I think I am getting the hang of this. If you would like more of the same, here’s a piece about the therapeutic value of behind-the-scenes DVD extras and a personal favourite about the time my father and I encountered Superman.






