Mars Went Direct in Aries and My Friendship Burnt Like Paper

About the mysterious connection of astrology with real life

July — the month of Cancer hit me hard since the start. Yes, I am one of those folks that know a little bit about astrology and follow the moon and planetary cycles somewhat regularly. I also feel the energy shifts caused by them quite sincerely. And the energy occurring over the past few weeks was — well, more overwhelming than usual. Somewhat easier to notice, sense, touch, yet too dense and intense for a person like me.

Here’s why.

If you didn’t know, at the beginning of July, we were in the peaks of what’s a quite famous planetary motion called Mercury retrograde.

Mercury retrograde in Cancer

Mercury is known as the planet that rules all communication. This means that when Mercury appears retrograde, people may experience communication issues, problems with technology, or even things like lost mail.’’ Astrologist Georgia Nicols

I’d add that it’s a bit more than that. One may also experience a sudden change or disruption of longterm plans, an issue with the travel of any kind, a surprising change or issue with the contracts (business or personal) signed during the retrograde, personal items getting lost without a track and technology not working properly or as usual. Things feel somewhat blurry and there’s generally a lot of confusion and uncertainty that causes communication issues and quarrels. It’s as if we only had partial information about what’s happening and the rest was concealed.

So, it’s advised not to make big decisions during this time — not to start new jobs, sign contracts or take on new projects, not to get in relationships or marry. As well as, avoid discussing heavy topics as there will likely be misunderstanding and confrontation. And rather than actioning — doing the opposite — silent reflections. As we don’t see the situations we’re facing in fulness and there is more to the story which comes to the surface once the curtain of the retrograde is lifted.

When planets retrograde, they slow down and this makes reviewing, reflecting, and reassessing situations in your life a whole lot easier. Valerie Mesa

I know you’ll say what a superstition. A hoax. However,

I faced well enough such retrogrades up to this point to know that not only they mean something but they actually correspond with what happens in our lives.

For instance, this year I planned a big friend’s gathering during the Mercury retrograde — five girls to meet as a women circle — only that we planned so far ahead that we didn’t even notice it’d be retrograde at the time. And what did happen? Two days prior to meeting up, one friend had to cancel as she was unexpectedly made to work on the day. I thought, fine. That’s life, there’s still 4 of us still meeting so it’ll happen! Then, the evening before, another friend called up to say she won’t be able to attend as her plans changed and she had to travel with the family. Three of us left. And the day of meeting up

I had to cancel. I got my period that actually came surprisingly the night before our date and I was in so much pain on our outing day that there was no way for me to attend. However much I wanted. And the remaining two girls? They eventually cancelled the plan to meet in the previously agreed location and setting and made their own plans. Travelling together to a completely new place — none of them would have expected to plan a few hours before.

Well, that’s how Mercury retrograde tastes.

Out of other, more conventional experiences of mine, with this occurrence, I once accepted a job — signed the contract and started working during the retrograde.

Even that my astrologist at the time warned me that post this period, things about that role may not be as I was told or expected, I still went ahead to prove Mercury wrong!

Only to realize a few weeks after (once the retrograde was lifted) that my astrologist was right. The job was nowhere close to what I expected and what I was introduced to. It resembled the previous one I left as I couldn’t manage it anymore too closely. On top of it, the person who hired me and who I was enjoying working with left, my role changed subsequently (from what I wanted to do to what I didn’t) and there was so much instability that I couldn’t stay there more than 6 months.

Travel plans changing during these retrogrades, the fights that come out of nowhere as we lack understanding and clear perspective during these times are all quite usual. And losing stuff — not just simple items but even a sense of a direction in a place which we normally know well — also usual.

Two times it happened that my friends lost their house keys without a track, I broke my phone screen, my wallet got lost (or stolen — don’t know till this day), I missed flights, got lost on usual route home with my boyfriend and his bike was getting repeatedly broken without any obvious reason — every new tyre would last for about a day. I guess that’s enough examples for now.

But as I already suggested, retrogrades are also good. Especially as they ‘’can be incredibly revealing so if Mercury retrograde brings an important conversation to the surface, pay attention to what it’s trying to teach you.’’ Valerie Mesa

So, we had this retrograde which eventually ended on 12th July. However, July started with a new moon — in Cancer. And Cancer astrologically is a very deep watery — emotional sign. The one that often creates drama and cries. Even without an obvious reason. And man, this year’s cancer (that’s still on by the way) made almost everyone I know cry over the last 3 weeks.

New Moon in Cancer

“In addition to marking the beginning of a brand-new lunar cycle, new moons are symbolic of spiritual renewal. This moon phase happens once every month, when the moon sits between the Earth and the sun. The moon’s invisibility is a representation of the incubation period, where the seeds you plant and intentions you set will eventually come to life.” Valerie Mesa

Cancer’s season started with its eclipse on Sunday 21st June (exactly a month back) and for the reference — it’s considered to be the most important eclipse of the year. Continuing with the Cancerian new moon from 22 June lasting until today — 21st July.

‘’Joy as well as anger and sadness can reach elevated levels. Staying in control of our emotions this month, more than any other assists us in discovering the right course of actions for ourselves and the world.’’ Ruth Nahmias

Eclipse and new moon in Cancer brought out some of the very intense feelings and extreme emotions which we got to feel suddenly — as out of nowhere, without a warning. Ruth suggests that we should not fall into those emotions and rather reflect upon what triggers them and what areas within our lives carry something unresolved which we can address now. Connecting to the roots of our emotions, understanding their causes and releasing that what no longer serves us enables us to bring balance and harmony to our being.

My experience with this month’s cancer was exactly this. I felt as if suddenly, a big chunk of my past pain — which I thought was already resolved and healed wound, resurfaced again with minimum triggers and maximum impact.

This time much stronger than at any before. I was made to face it to give myself another look back at what can I possibly still be carrying from there and what I have to understand better, further heal and let go.

“You are now able to see past the illusions that have been holding you back. This retrograde will give us a second chance to reconnect with the truth.” Ruth Nahmias

I cried actually — at the beginning of this season as it felt uncomfortably overwhelming. And that helped me to deal with the shockingly strong emotions — leaving me feeling purified. Eventually, I was put into situations which made me understand what past baggage I still carried with me subconsiously, unnecessarily. And that there’s no need to invest more feelings into it, to cry more or contemplate it as that past is nowhere near my today’s present. And how all of those stories, situations, pain, people and mostly me — have already changed considerably for it to be relatable anymore.

Mars going direct in Aries

Soon after Mercury went retrograde in Cancer, Mars entered the sign of Aries in June 27th where it will stay through a 6 month long transit until Jan 2021. That’s Mars — the dynamic planet of war and conflict in Aries — the passionate, stubborn and fiery sign. This means that we’re more prone to conflict and misunderstanding with others.

Since Mars controls action, aggression and desire, and Aries, in particular, is prone to throwing temper tantrums, conflicts may arise more than they’d normally do.

“This {influence} will usher in quite a significant change in our energy levels, as we go from feeling vague and confused, almost like we’re running through water, to heightened physical energy, as well as energy that is clear, direct, and at times confrontative or aggressive. There will be a huge emphasis on the self as well as our independence, and how we embody our identity in the way we assert ourselves.”

“If you don’t direct this huge amount of energy into a physical outlet, it could make you feel extremely restless and fidgety, and may find its way out through sudden bursts of anger and flare-ups of temper.

In addition to being active, Mars in Aries is asking you to be direct when it comes to asserting your boundaries, and confident in speaking your truth and standing up for what you believe in. Keep in mind that disagreements can easily escalate into aggressive or even violent situations because of this heightened masculine energy, so practise how to state your arguments and maintain your boundaries in a non-confrontational way. {…} Be careful of saying things you may come to regret while in the heat of the moment.” Astromatrix

It’s suggested that this time, we connect with our emotions — even all the grief and sadness that comes with it.

As Ruth Nahmias suggests, and at the same time try directing our ideas and desires in a non-confrontional way.

What happened with my friendship?

Sunday 5th July was a Full Moon or Lunar Eclipse in Capricorn — the final eclipse in a set of four. Ruth Nahmias, my favourite astrologist, suggests:

‘’Be careful of rush thinking, and hurtful words as Mercury is still retrograde. We can face emotional and communication backlash. This eclipse gives us an excellent opportunity to learn how to control what we think and what we say. It’s a good time to leave the old habits behind.’’

Only that we did not. Neither my friend nor did I.

I got contacted on Wednesday 8th July morning by this good friend of mine who lives in my home country. She politely asked how was I and then told me that she’s feeling anxious. I was involved in numerous critical tasks since morning but as I found her text, I responded that I hear her and that I am also feeling more overwhelmed than usual. I asked whether she knows why she feels that way. To which she responded back saying ‘’can we talk?’’

I told her I could only talk later but then remembered that I am actually busy that evening (had to do food shopping and cooking), and so that I could peacefully talk a day after.

With my awareness that our phone calls rarely last 15 minutes, I wanted to give it proper attention.

I was told immediately that she thinks I’ll cancel the call. (Which happened once before during COVID when I had to replan my activities and postpone the call for the next day.) I got back to her explaining that I am suggesting the next day to make sure that there’s no cancellation and no postponing. And asked whether it works for her.

It was still in the mid of that morning when she responded saying that she doesn’t want to do arranging calls with me as she finds it very unequal and imbalanced as we’re not alien to each other. And again mentioned that I often postpone or cancel her. And that it doesn’t make her feel good. And that it doesn’t work for her. Period.

So that meant — no further conversations, she was upset. And I was sadden by her reaction.

Because it’s not regular that I’d postpone our calls — it barely happened once. I felt completely misunderstood as neither my situation nor availability was respected. I thought that she must have expected me to talk to her straight away as she doesn’t have a job now (chose to take a career break), so her availability is different from mine and either can’t relate or must have forgotten that my situation is different- I am actually busy working on projects, making sure my business survives the crises. She didn‘t bother to ask.

There was a growing gap.

Eventually, I told her that I am sorry about how she sees this but this is my situation now and the space I can give her. If she’s not OK with it, I am sorry but I can’t do more. She told me to take care of myself. And that was it. Finished. Because I wasn’t available as expected. My mood for the day as well as focus and productivity went down.

Later on, I remembered that there was a time recently when she was in a similar situation like me. I wanted to connect with her but she was constantly busy (and unavailable for over a week) and told me she will connect later then saying sorry. I tried sharing this with her hoping this changes her perspective in case she has forgotten. I shared that I could have reacted as she did now but that I respected her time and situation back then. To which she responded shockingly — being ironic and rude to me, telling me what a selfish person I am who’s not even her friend. And that I should work, grow and enjoy (that was ironic). She concluded it ridiculing me and some of the most recent things that I shared with her.

That was it. I had enough. I realized there’s no way ahead with her. And this revelation broke everything. All my efforts at least. I was hurt and devastated to hear that was how my friend has seen me. I could have left it there in silence, but yet in anger ended up telling her to ‘’Fuck off’’. Which is not my way to communicate with anyone — never have been.

The next day I told her that I am sorry about my communication. But nothing changed — she still misunderstood me and disregarded my side of the story.

And so the conflict triggered for such a silly thing as when we talk had all the power to reveal imbalance of this friendship (where mutual understanding, appreciation, acceptance and respect were missing) and break it. Nothing changed weeks after (although I hoped it would) and there’s still no effort to communicate and understand each other.

Now, it’d be juvenile to blame my friendship failure under the retrograde on the planetary conjunctions. However, these influences contributed to the way both I and my ex-friend handled our communication. She behaved out of ordinary — approaching me and voicing things out in a rough and hurtful way — without considering my position — to which I reacted similarly.

The person I used to know as compassionate, empathetic and understanding, acted completely different under this Mars in Aries and Mercury retrograde coupled with the overwhelming emotional power of Cancer. And I (as an Aries) also did act differently — I didn’t handle my anger and frustration well. I can imagine that she was going through a similar emotional ordeal as everyone else did this month. However, that doesn’t give any person the right to treat another like shit.

What have I learned from this?

First, as I realized that when we argued was actually when some of these strong planetary shifts peaked, I smiled. It explained why both my friend and I were acting so strange suddenly. And reminded me of how powerful these planetary shifts are and their impact on our realities and behaviours.

I also received how they impact me and that I have to be more careful next time about the way I take myself ahead and communicate in similar situations — when challenged, blamed or accused — to avoid saying anything hurtful that I may later regret and taking it back would be difficult.

Ultimately, I trust these astrological events are not there to destroy us but to shape us, enable us to learn, grow and become better people. It’s always our choice — not a destiny but our free will whether we chose to fall into the planetary trap and manifest the worst in us or maintain our cool to see a different perspective for the better.

And maybe this can help you too as a guide of what all can happen next time Mercury goes retrograde and Mars direct in Aries coupled with Cancerian energy — so watch out and beware.

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