Marry out of your league

Summary

The article discusses the benefits and challenges of marrying someone perceived to be "out of your league," emphasizing the personal growth and advantages for children that can result from such a union.

Abstract

The author shares a personal account of marrying someone they considered far superior in many aspects, including looks, work ethic, and self-discipline. Despite initial self-doubt and fear of rejection, the author took a chance and found happiness in a long-term relationship. The article argues that marrying out of one's league can lead to a balanced partnership where each person complements the other's weaknesses, much like a well-matched business contract. The author believes that this kind of marriage not only brings personal fulfillment but also results in exceptional children who inherit the best traits from both parents.

Opinions

The author believes that taking the risk to pursue a relationship with someone out of one's league can lead to significant personal rewards.
They suggest that a successful marriage often involves partners with complementary qualities and skills, creating a synergistic relationship.
The author expresses that their spouse's strengths in areas where they are lacking have contributed to a harmonious and effective partnership.
They assert that the true beneficiaries of marrying out of one's league are the children, who are likely to inherit a blend of the best traits from both parents.
The author acknowledges that while there may be some negative traits passed on, the overall outcome is positive, with children being the ultimate prize and legacy.

I did, and so did my wife

Everybody wants to be with Mr. or Mrs. Perfect. The most beautiful girl, the most desirable guy. When you find your idea of perfect, the feeling is overwhelming. Sometimes the self-doubt is overwhelming too, but you shouldn’t let that put you off. Life is hard and it’s going to knock you down, but don’t let that stop you from taking shots. In the area of my life where I took my shots, it paid off big time. I fell for a girl who I thought was way out of my league, and in many ways she was. Twenty-five years later we’re still together and things are great.

This article is about why it pays to marry out of your league.

The day you face your fears

If you’re going to marry out of your league, you’d better have some guts. I’d been absolutely infatuated by the girl I ended up marrying for months on end before I even asked her out on a date. I was convinced there was no way she was going to be attracted to me, and later I was convinced her family would disapprove of me. I figured my chances were about zero. But in the end, I had to know, and objectively I had nothing to lose. Things went well, and I felt like I’d absolutely hit the jackpot. It was one of the happiest moments of my teenage life.

It’s not easy doing something that carries the risk of devastating rejection. But that’s where things begin. If you’re going to marry out of your league, you’d better grow some balls.

Marriage is a contract

Relationships take work, and marriage is a contract. As with a business, if you want to be successful in marriage, you’ll do well to make sure your partner is somebody who has qualities and skills that you don’t have.

My wife has a ton of qualities that I lack. She’s beautiful, my looks are average or below average. She works incredibly hard at whatever she does, I can only do that when I find something interesting. She has amazing self-discipline and can do whatever is necessary, even if it has her in tears, I can’t. She is sensible and risk-averse, I’m an incorrigible risk-taker.

Clearly, my wife is out of my league in a lot of ways. But I have a lot of qualities she doesn’t have. We’re like different ingredients of a perfect recipe, different parts of a puzzle.

My wife is the messiest person I have ever met. She never knows where anything is, her keys, wallet, phone, shoes, or anything else. Her culinary skills go about as far as making a cup of coffee, and she’ll definitely make a mess when she’s doing that. If I was not the opposite, my household would probably be on one of those television shows about hoarders, and would likely require a monthly budget of £1000 for locksmiths.

I bring a lot more than cooking, cleaning and tidying to the table. That’s why the marriage works so well. In a lot of respects, just not the obvious ones, I must have been out of her league as well.

Who gets the prize?

In the end, it’s not you who really benefits by marrying out of your league, it’s your children. Your children are the biggest reason you should marry out of your league. The apple does not fall far from the tree.

I can unreservedly say my children are absolutely amazing. They’re both outstanding. If I’d married someone else, they wouldn’t be who they are.

My children are stunningly beautiful, they get their looks from their mother. They’re both incredibly intelligent, easily at the top of their respective classes. I won’t take the credit for that, they get their brains from their paternal grandfather, via me. The youngest, in particular, is several years ahead of her peers. They both work extremely hard, that comes from their mother as well. They’re both musically and artistically talented, with great social skills. They get that from me.

There are a few downsides as well, like the fiery temper my youngest daughter inherited from me, but nobody’s perfect. Overall it’s a winning combination.

Marry out of your league, and in all likelihood, you’ll have great kids. That’s the best reason to do it. Once you’re dead, your children carry the torch.

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