Marriage — Is it love, or is it a contract?

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Abstract

uild a future with someone, someone whom I love with all my heart and trust entirely, I first have to make sure that it’s written on a piece of paper. Then only we become partners OFFICIALLY. With marriage comes huge responsibilities, which can be very overwhelming. Do you say marriage is simple? Well here is the biggest complication which a couple walks into with the stamp of “Happily Married”.<blockquote id="4943">Why can’t we just keep marriage as a part of our relationship and not construct the relationship itself on the base of marriage? This is one of the reasons why people lose interest in the concept of love after being “Happily Married” for more than 5 years.</blockquote>I have seen so many couples, or rather so many married people, where one half is nicely cheating on the other half and the other half is completely and pleasantly oblivious about it. Tell me what the use of such a relationship is? And then bring some children in between, and it becomes twice as complicated.We have all heard of divorces, in which people used to live together before their marriages still didn’t get along afterwards and got divorced. Do you know why? Because before marriage, the responsibilities and the complications were very less for that couple.After marriage, we have to keep everyone happy and do everything according to the society. And in the middle of that, we seldom realize, that we lost our happiness. We have normalized the compromises in marriages so much, that now you cannot even complain if your dreams are crushed because you are bound to your other half.<p

Options

id="ea30">Tell me something. If I am ready to have a kid with someone, which means bringing a new life into this world, do I need the trust of that stamped marriage contract or do I just need love and trust in that person?“I am okay to have a baby with you, but first I need a reassurance that you are going to back me up financially and pretend that you love me, and then I am going to post an Instagram story based on that on how great a father you are.” Wow! Impeccable. We are mocking ourselves in every literal sense.All we need in life is to find our soulmate. A person who resonates with you. A person who will stand by you no matter what storms you encounter. A person who can maintain even a long-distance relationship because you both are ready to make an effort. Instead, we get caught up in the nitty-gritty of our society and when we get married and start settling in, by that time we start losing a little bit of that love for each other due to which we got married in the first place. We start losing it, bit by bit until there comes a time when you cannot escape it because of that contract, and the collateral damage that comes with it.<blockquote id="9621">I want you to think about the reasons for which you want to step into a marriage or have stepped into it already, and whether you trust your partner enough that — given a chance — you are ready to continue the relationship for a lifetime without getting married! If you are, then you are with the right person. And if you are not, then please start building on it right away.</blockquote></article></body>

A different perspective on the reasons for getting married

from unsplash.com

To be in love or to be loved is a very beautiful feeling. But do you think it’s enough for us? Do you think you can trust someone to stay with you forever without getting married?

Ever since I learnt that my mother and father didn’t grow up together(which was a huge misconception for me for the first 5 years of my life), I realized that the concept of marriage is very complicated.

Why is it complicated? Because of all the money, you spend to just make your relationship official and move on in your life? No. It is complicated because the base of marriage itself speaks “Lack of trust”. Let me take our Indian society for example.

We have no belief in live-in relationships but we are pretty comfortable to spend the rest of our lives with someone, with whom we haven’t even spent one night. We believe that when two people fall in love or not fall in love then for them to live together for the rest of their lives is only through marriage. Mind here, that our generation is probably okay with not getting married and just moving in with their partners for the future, but then we all face the “parental pressure”.

Why am I talking against marriages? I am not. I am talking about the wrong reasons which we are doing it for. If I want to build a future with someone, someone whom I love with all my heart and trust entirely, I first have to make sure that it’s written on a piece of paper. Then only we become partners OFFICIALLY. With marriage comes huge responsibilities, which can be very overwhelming. Do you say marriage is simple? Well here is the biggest complication which a couple walks into with the stamp of “Happily Married”.

Why can’t we just keep marriage as a part of our relationship and not construct the relationship itself on the base of marriage? This is one of the reasons why people lose interest in the concept of love after being “Happily Married” for more than 5 years.

I have seen so many couples, or rather so many married people, where one half is nicely cheating on the other half and the other half is completely and pleasantly oblivious about it. Tell me what the use of such a relationship is? And then bring some children in between, and it becomes twice as complicated.

We have all heard of divorces, in which people used to live together before their marriages still didn’t get along afterwards and got divorced. Do you know why? Because before marriage, the responsibilities and the complications were very less for that couple.

After marriage, we have to keep everyone happy and do everything according to the society. And in the middle of that, we seldom realize, that we lost our happiness. We have normalized the compromises in marriages so much, that now you cannot even complain if your dreams are crushed because you are bound to your other half.

Tell me something. If I am ready to have a kid with someone, which means bringing a new life into this world, do I need the trust of that stamped marriage contract or do I just need love and trust in that person?

“I am okay to have a baby with you, but first I need a reassurance that you are going to back me up financially and pretend that you love me, and then I am going to post an Instagram story based on that on how great a father you are.” Wow! Impeccable. We are mocking ourselves in every literal sense.

All we need in life is to find our soulmate. A person who resonates with you. A person who will stand by you no matter what storms you encounter. A person who can maintain even a long-distance relationship because you both are ready to make an effort. Instead, we get caught up in the nitty-gritty of our society and when we get married and start settling in, by that time we start losing a little bit of that love for each other due to which we got married in the first place. We start losing it, bit by bit until there comes a time when you cannot escape it because of that contract, and the collateral damage that comes with it.

I want you to think about the reasons for which you want to step into a marriage or have stepped into it already, and whether you trust your partner enough that — given a chance — you are ready to continue the relationship for a lifetime without getting married! If you are, then you are with the right person. And if you are not, then please start building on it right away.