Mania
The visit of an old frenemy
note: This poetic prose piece tries to represent symbolically the onset of ‘mania’, which is the high or ‘euphoric’ state of bipolar disorder. It was inspired by none other than my own ‘M’ and ‘D’ mental states. I wrote it while mildly depressed, not manic, by the way.
After quite a while M appears to be back “Miss me?” I can hear her whisper at me “Not at all; please piss the frack off” I implore
She laughs manically, yet keeps her claws in me firmly gripping my mind She won’t let go before she has her fun not until I am an exhausted, bankrupt husk
She is weaker now than she used to be but she can still do a number on me
She is the creative force inside me when I allow to get out of control when I get sick of her sullen sister D of her seriousness and melancholy
“You will be lonely when I’m gone this might be my last visit after all!” M says
“I do not care; take my cards, take my savings just leave me alone please; I’ve had enough mental high in my life” I feel resigned
M stops laughing; she wears her sister D’s face “Fine! I’ll go! But do not beg for me to come back! Stay with my sis D and get even sadder and more sullen! I just wanted you to have some fun, but I don’t care anymore!”
“Do not worry dear M, I’ll be good; you will always be a part of me, both you and D; I know that full well now”
M starts dissolving away… she turns into a mist and she… re-enters my body; she no longer has power over me; I’ve reabsorbed her but I’m the one in control
Well, at least until I give it back to her…
