12,134 alternate versions of you are reading this, the other is having a poo

Man Pleased His Parallel Universe Selves Are Also Failures

And one of them is a literal strawberry

In a multiverse where people are finding all the wonderful lives their alternate selves are having, one man is just glad his other selves are just as much of a failure as himself.

“Yeah, I mean I was overjoyed at the end of the journey when the brilliant truth was revealed. I’d be horrified if my sad, pathetic life could have been worth something if I just tried a bit harder.”

— Multiversal man

On his journey, he found a version of himself failing his job as a postman in a universe where emails were invented before letters, a children's party magician in a world where everyone is basically at Gandalf's level of wizardry, and his failing position as the manager of a chocolate kettle gift shop located in the core of a volcano.

“When we were his age, all our other parallel versions were far more successful.”

— Multiversal man’s parents