Male ‘Karen’ Plays Swimsuit Police on Behalf of Jesus
Why I’m so mad about the ‘Christian’ man who confronted some young women in bikinis on a public beach
Despite the giant strides that we have made as a society towards radical inclusiveness and acceptance, I still live with this overwhelming feeling that the world is not ready to see me in a speedo-style bathing suit.
I know, I know.
It’s irrational and silly. I go to the beach all the time, and in my culture, there are always men — usually really old men — who are quite comfortable walking around in a teeny tiny speedo. Secretly I admire their confidence while simultaneously promising myself that when I become an old man, I will still wear more clothes to the beach than that.
Did you know, for all the scantily clad men that I have observed on the beach, I have never, ever seen anyone take exception to them? I mean, if they want to wear a pair of stretchy, skin-hugging underpants in the cold water at the beach, then good for them! I have never seen, nor could I imagine, a scenario where someone would go up to them and abuse them for their choice of swimsuit.
If you’re a young woman, on the other hand, that’s another matter.
Yes, imagine that you’re a young, carefree woman, and one day, you decide to hit the beach with a group of your young and carefree friends. You don your swimsuit — a tasteful two-piece — grab your sunglasses, beach towel, and tanning lotion, and cruise on down to your local shorefront for an afternoon of fun and relaxation.
You find the perfect spot.
You make yourself at home.
And then it happens.
A man who you’ve never seen before in your life confronts you and your group of friends.
Forcefully.
Uninvited.
It turns out that this man is a born-again Christian, and he has taken exception to your choice of swimsuit. In fact, he is so offended at the amount of female human flesh on display that he has taken it upon himself to tell you that Jesus is unimpressed by your wardrobe. And, he encourages you and your friends — berates is probably a better word for it — to show some modesty and cover up.
Imagine no longer.
I was sent this video by a friend this week. It’s doing the rounds on YouTube at the moment, so it would be remiss of me not to comment on it given that the man in the video purports to represent Jesus and well… I write about such men. So, before I go on, here is the incident for your viewing pleasure:
Now, in case you are wondering if these girls were actually showing too much flesh, they have helpfully posted a response video on TikTok, which included a photograph of what they were wearing at the time. Here it is:
Now, I must be missing something because these pretty much look like normal bathing suits to me. There is nothing particularly risque about them, and, to be honest, I wouldn’t be uncomfortable with one of my own daughters choosing to wear one of these. I would, however, be uncomfortable with an older man coming up to her and telling her that she is showing too much flesh and ordering her to cover up her body.
So, on behalf of Christ, I’d like to apologize to all of you — especially if you are a young woman — for these comments by my well-meaning but over-zealous and ultimately unhelpful ‘Christian’ brother. I’ll be praying that later on, he comes to a full realization of the polarizing nature of the poorly-worded barrage that these young women had to endure, and the damage that it does to the credibility of Christians in general.
You’re probably picking up my vibe. I’m not impressed. In fact, I’m angry.
Why?
Well, you see, I think that in just a few short minutes, this religious zealot unwittingly managed to unveil some of the really toxic thinking that you’ll typically find in evangelical Christianity. Let me explain exactly what I mean:
I’m here representing God
Let’s start with this guy’s approach because the way this conversation unfolds displays a kind of arrogance that I personally find repulsive in some Evangelical Christians.
Firstly, this guy sees something he dislikes about another group of people — something he thinks is immoral even. So, he takes it upon himself to approach that group, even though they are strangers, and tell them all how sinful they are — as if he were the one qualified to judge the sinfulness of their actions.
Unsurprisingly, the young women are not particularly receptive to his message and ask him to go away. But, he insists, “If men of God don’t stand up, then society is going to go down the drain.”
This is akin to saying: “Ladies, listen to me, I am qualified to say this because I am speaking on behalf of God, here. Your opinion really doesn’t matter or count. I’m not here for dialogue. I’m here to tell you the truth that I have, which also happens to be the truth that you need.” In fact, at one point, he says the words: “I’m just giving you the truth.”
Whose truth?
One of the most repugnant attitudes among Christians is the one that says, “I have the truth. You don’t have the truth. You need what I have. You are lost. I am saved. You are walking around in the dark. I am enlightened. You need to learn from me. You have nothing of value to say to me, but what I have to say to you is of infinite value.”
Whether he realizes it or not, this guy draws a line in the sand (no pun intended) and says, I am on God’s side, and you are not. And he chooses to draw that line over what? Injustice? Racism? Exploitation?
No… he chooses to draw that line over bikinis.
Give me a break.
Women are the cause of mens’ sexual sin
So, the conversation is not off to a great start. But things go from bad to worse when the guy confronts the young woman with: “You need to take the young guys into consideration. They don’t need to see pornography on the beach.”
Excuse me?
Did this guy make an association between these girls wearing bikinis on the beach and the potential for other young men on the beach to fall into sin — presumably of the sexual kind? Did this man just make a causal link between these young girls and pornography addiction in men?
You bet he did.
Don’t believe me? Well, later on in the conversation, he starts to quote from Matthew 18:6, which says:
“If anyone causes one of these little ones — those who believe in me — to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.”
He is most definitely accusing these women of leading people — particularly young men — to sin through what they are wearing.
Believe it or not, this kind of thinking is exceedingly common in evangelical church culture. Women are expected to cover up because they might cause a man to sin — as if men were somehow incapable of basic impulse control. This has unreasonably and inappropriately burdened women with a responsibility to not “lead men into temptation.” Not to mention the body-shaming that comes part and parcel with this kind of thinking.
What is more, this is exactly the kind of infantile thinking that characterized Adam in the Garden of Eden. When confronted with his own poor choices, he turns and points at Eve and says, “The woman made me do it!”
No, you moron!
You chose to do it yourself.
Own it.
Modesty is for women, not men
Now, it turns out that on this particular beach, there is a man just out of the picture who is wearing a speedo bathing suit —just like the one I’m too scared to wear.
The girls being harassed rightly challenge their harasser: “Are you going to go and bother that man now?” referring to the man in the speedo.
The answer is telling.
“That’s a lot different.” says the harasser.
But is it, really?
Of course, it’s not.
It is completely ridiculous to suggest that a woman in a bikini might somehow lead a man into sexual sin, any more than a man in a speedo might lead a woman into sexual sin.
Do as I say, not as I do
I’m not even going to mention how this guy comes up with his tastefully tattooed bare arms exposed. I guess when this guy was reading the Bible, he skipped over Leviticus.
I don’t blame him.
Leviticus is boring as.
However, since he is so keen on the Bible, he should probably have a look at Leviticus 19:28, which says: “Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves.”
Anyway… back to this man’s bare arms. Man, they are some big ‘guns’ he is sporting right there. A big, strong, fit, muscular guy like that, just wow! I mean, who would blame anyone for feeling a stirring in their loins just looking at this gorgeous hunk of flesh!
I sure hope someone tells this man to cover up. Someone might become addicted to pornography, or worse — because of this guy’s impropriety.
Let me tell you what your problem is
Seeing that he is getting nowhere in his personal crusade to get these young girls to realize the error of their ways, he tries a different tack.
He sets about telling them exactly why they are wearing bikinis in the first place. You see, these girls mistakenly believed that they were wearing bikinis because that’s what many girls wear to the beach and find comfortable to swim in.
But no.
The man has a different theory. He says, “There’s a longing in each of your hearts to actually be seen. If you want to know why you’re showing your body, it’s because you’re wondering, “Am I pretty enough?”
Somehow this man has fashioned this into an evangelism opportunity. You can imagine him saying, “Now if you’ll just accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, then you’ll realize how pretty you are, and you won’t have to wear a bikini anymore.”
Cos, you know… Jesus is a man, and he will notice you.
Christians really have a terrible habit of telling people they don’t even know exactly what their problem is and then providing the solution as well. It’s Jesus, of course! Duh!
The Bible compels me to say this!
There is plenty of scripture being thrown about by this guy — both paraphrased and directly quoted. But his angle of attack is clear: “The Bible says so…!”
However, the people in this conversation who use Scripture most appropriately are the young women.
When the man says to the girls, “You’re flaunting your stuff,” One of the girls who is being harassed tells the man, “I’m not flaunting anything. Don’t look at me.”
Now, there’s a good point.
She’s telling the man to take some responsibility for himself. But she takes it to another level when she quotes some scripture of her own. “Doesn’t the Bible say, if your eye causes you to sin, then gouge it out?”
Well, yes… yes, it does!
In fact, that’s what Jesus said about dealing with your own sin. One this is for sure, the Bible doesn’t say, if your eye causes you to sin, then turn around the blame someone else for it.
Then, the scripture that Christians most hate in these situations is whipped out by one of the young women: “Do not judge!”
“I’m not judging you!” implores the man.
Yes, you are, sir! And it ain’t Biblical!
You ought to comply with my standard of morality
As the man continues with his Christian arguments, one of the young women finally says, “But I’m an atheist.”
The man responds by saying, “Just because you’re an atheist doesn’t mean you have to show your body off. You can still put clothes on.”
It’s hard to pick the most stupid moment in the video, but this is certainly up there. He is basically saying, “Just because you’re not a Christian like me, doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t live by my Christian standards as I impose them on you.”
Christians need to understand something: They have no right to moralize anyone who isn’t first Christianized. If someone chooses not to be a Christian, they are under no obligation to live under “Christian rules,” save for where those rules overlap with civil laws. If Christians want to make rules about wearing bikinis — however Biblically unsupported — that is their prerogative. However, they have no right to impose those rules on others.
Period.
Freedom of speech, man!
When the man is asked to leave them alone, he says, “It’s free-world America! There’s freedom of speech!”
Ah, that old chestnut.
Don’t you just love when Christians confuse and mix their civil liberties with their Christian belief as if the two were inextricably linked somehow? “This is God’s country, and I have the right to say whatever the heck I like, even if it is completely untrue, unloving, and unable to be supported Biblically.”
Of course, by the same law that grants this man freedom of speech, these young women are granted the freedom to wear a bikini to the beach.
But of course, when Christians play the “freedom of speech” card, what they are really advocating for is freedom of speech for Christians just like them — certainly not Muslims, gays, or bikini-clad women.
The man himself responds
Some four days after the event, the man himself created his own explainer video on TikTok, where you might have expected him to perhaps apologize for his approach, if not his message.
But no.
He doubles down.
In fact, he says, “I’m not going to apologize, but I’m going to continue to stand on the word of God.” Could someone please point me to the part of the Bible that speaks about women wearing bikinis on the beach?
Didn’t think so.
Anyway, ‘Bikini-Man’ speaks of his desire to protect his young sons. He puts his actions down to a “righteous anger” and a “boldness by the Holy Spirit” to confront these ladies and “Speak truth.”
It turns out that this guy stumbled into porn addiction at a young age and wants to protect his own sons. I give him credit for that. But to somehow suggest that young women wearing bikinis at a beach are some kind of gateway for his six-year-old to stumble into porn addiction represents to me the kind of body shaming, “Eve-blaming” nonsense that started in the Garden of Eden and continues to this day amongst men who refuse to grow up.
He finishes his video with a swipe at transgenderism and bemoans the downcline of society. You read that correctly.
Society is on a downcline… apparently.
Is this what Christianity has come to?
Dear man who wants to protect his sons from bikini-wearing women,
Do you really think that Jesus went to all the trouble of dying for humanity so that two thousand years later, you could lecture a group of girls on a beach about what they are wearing?
Do you really think that of all the things you could take a stand on, out of all the injustices in the world, that this is the thing that Christ wants you to speak up about?
Is this the hill you will choose to die on?
So be it.
But I doubt a single person will come to faith in Jesus through your stand, but many will be driven further away.
Now, if you’ll excuse me — I’m off to the beach to try out my new speedo.
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