Making Love in the Astral Plane

What are we really capable of?

I was lying in bed one night and I had the strangest sensation that someone was there with me. I’m not clairvoyant and so do not normally sense spirits or anything else. So, this was something else.

I relaxed my eyes and suddenly my friend Tom appeared. He was just lying there on the bed staring at me with a big smile on his face. I could feel us sharing breath like two lovers would do as their noses gently nuzzled each other. We continued just lying there smiling at each other — silently curious as to what was happening.

Without speaking, we asked, “What do we do now?”

Together, we said, “Let’s make love”.

And so, we did… and it was just so wonderful.

I had actually only met him once before. He began as a tantra student taking one of my online courses. Then, he realized that he wanted to teach in his home community but didn’t know how to get started. Intuitively, I responded, “Just let me live with you for a week. You will learn all you need to know.”

This was the beginning of my “travelling the world with a backpack” time. So, staying with friends and students was pretty normal.

Our time together wasn’t sexual at all. Tantra is so much more than that. But there was this one moment when I walked by him lying in savasana in his yoga room… I stood at the door and had a vision of me walking over, lying on top of him fully clothed and sharing a full-body orgasm together. I was completely torn inside — he was in a vulnerable and open position in savasana — was I overstepping my bounds as his teacher? — was this “appropriate” in any way? Needless to say, I talked myself out of it and just walked up the stairs.

What’s interesting about tantra is that it isn’t really something that we can teach. Tantra is simply our most expansive and whole experience as a human. It is the full integration of the divine and physical aspects of who we are taken into every aspect of our lives — our solitude, our children, our jobs, and definitely our intimate relationships.

As a “teacher”, all I really do is give names and context to experiences that people are having outside of the mundane norm. So, when someone takes one of my courses, I instantly know whether this person is just wanting to become a great lover or whether they are in the process of remembering who they truly are.

Tom was definitely in the second category. Early in the course, he would be doing one of the meditations given to him and later, in his homework, he would ask me if it was normal for energy to be flowing up his spine or that he had tingles “here” or that he was just so damn happy.

This is when I knew that he was more than just a student for me — not in a sexual, relationship way. More, that a tantric existence was natural for him. That his soul was calling for it. That something deep inside was awakening for him. I actually would not “teach” him anything. I was just a friend who would walk along with him while he realized how amazing he was.

He and I had been talking about how to integrate God into our lives — not in an intellectual way — but in a real cellular way — something we couldn’t question.

So, I gave him a meditation to do.

Many years ago, I read the book Aphrodite’s Daughters by Jalaja Bonheim, a book of stories of the divine feminine. Within it was a story of a nun who would go to her cot each night and lie perfectly still so that God could come and make love to her.

The moment I read this, I knew that this was true. I didn’t understand why and I didn’t try it for many years because I just had no context to understand why I knew this so intimately.

Much later, I began studying and practising tantra. As I lay in my bed one night, the memory of this little nun came back to me. So, I lay perfectly still — not a single bit of me moving — breathed deeply and waited for God.

After a few breaths, something started to happen. My body filled with shivers. Chills ran up my spine. My body started vibrating in the most complete and wonderful way. I actually had to catch myself because I had stopped breathing many times. My whole body simply went into the most cosmic, orgasmic state which would continue for as long as my mind would stay in a state of surrender.

I began teaching this meditation to women that I was working with through my Radiant Woman course. It was wonderful to chat about everyone’s experiences — when it worked, when it didn’t, the blocks to surrender, the blocks to pleasure. It was just amazing.

But I didn’t have many men working with me. So, I didn’t know what it would be like for them. I assumed it was similar. But I wasn’t sure.

So, I thought I would share it with Tom and see what his experience was.

The morning after our “astral lovemaking” session, Tom sent me a text message: “So, Katrina… Last night I did that meditation you told me about. Here’s what happened… I was lying on my bed perfectly still. I steadied my breath and silently said, “God, I’m ready. I want to make love with you.”… And then you know what happened? YOU SHOWED UP!!!”

Not wanting to put any ideas in his head and wanting to know personally if I had just imagined the whole experience, I texted back: “Really? So, what did you do?”

“We made love!”

Now, I’m under no delusions that I am God any more than every one of us is truly the divine incarnate. I could say that I appeared in the form of the divine feminine… I could make up all kinds of really lovely stories and maybe some aspect of them are true.

But the truth is that I don’t really understand what happened.

It had happened to me with another man before — completely unplanned — maybe eight years ago. I was lying in bed and suddenly I could smell his breath (it’s interesting how you just know the smell of a lover’s breath). I couldn’t fathom why I would be able to smell his breath… but it was like he was lying right in front of me facing me.

I assumed it was my imagination so I just went with it and kissed him. I realized that it wasn’t my imagination when he kissed me back. I knew it wasn’t my imagination when he touched my shoulder. I knew it wasn’t my imagination when we were able to make love and it wasn’t my mind calling the plays at all.

He was not a spiritual person in the least, so when he texted me in the morning, he wasn’t quite so calm as Tom was. His comment was, “Katrina, what the f**k was that? I was heading to bed and there you were lying there!! How is that possible?”.

Again, not wanting to put ideas in his mind, I asked, “So, what did you do?”

“Well… we made love.”

I called this article “Making Love in the Astral Plane” because after googling this the first time, these were the English words that closest described our experience.

Is this accurate? I have no idea. I don’t really know what the astral plane is. My imagination can come up with something. But they are just words.

What I do know is that we are so much more interesting than we think. As long as we are alive, I feel that there are corners and aspects of all of who we are that we can spend this entire lifetime exploring.

What I do know is that love is something much more than we think. It spans time, space, and all the logic in the world.

Thank you to Marcus who inspired my memory of these wonderful experiences in your article about your soul connection with Sitara.

And thank you to Jean Carfantan for creating a space for us soul journeyers to meet, share, and help us to remember just how amazing and expansive we truly are.

I am thankful to be one of the teachers on the meditation app — Insight Timer. On there, I created two guided meditations based on the one I mentioned here in this story. Here are the links, if you would like to give it a try: