Making Feedback Your Superpower as a Writer

How to get more gentle rinses and fewer teeth pulled

An old friend asks for honest input on their visibly horrible resume. You’re afraid this could ruin your friendship. Coworker offers unsolicited edits without context. You act like you never saw the email come in.

We’ve all been there before. If giving feedback is like pulling teeth, receiving it is like having your teeth pulled. How does one strike the balance between discomfort and dishonesty? Hopefully, this can help.

Try to solicit (early) and prepare

One shot, one opportunity.

It was the first press release I had ever written for a public company, let alone an audience of over 50,000 readers. Eminem blared in the background as a draft flew from my apartment, into the inboxes of eagerly awaiting critics on the team. Round one, begin.

I booked time with Saul immediately afterward. He was the “new guy”, but getting his feedback was crucial. Aside from being the smartest on the subject, I knew a thumbs up from him would go a long way with the rest of the group.

When you knock on the door of Opportunity, do not be surprised when it is Work who will answer. — Brendon Burchard

We both chatted for a bit. I explained why his assessment was so important and asked for an honest, detailed review. He offered pointers on the structure and made some smart callouts throughout. It threw off the entire flow of my predetermined narrative. But every single comment was worth it. Why?

Lessons were learned as I swept through the aftermath, stacking up crates filled with disparate bullet points to later arrange as ammunition. Replacing what seemed like perfectly fine words — a painstaking activity — gave me an appreciation for what it would take to tailor each paragraph to a wider audience. The key was being proactive and specific with what I wanted.

Ultimately the universe boils down into two types of people. Those who want to give input and those who don’t. It’s easy to get it from those who want to give input. It’s important to tease it out of those who don’t.

Writing is research and rewriting.

By being prepared, clear, and specific, I leveraged Saul’s expertise to elevate my perspective and resonate at a higher frequency. Merging someone else’s knowledge adds more credibility and clarity to your voice and work. You build a chorus instead of a cage, with logic fortified by someone else’s experience.

Preventive sleuthing pays off down the road when you get the order of operations right. Getting the facts down early equips you with a better view and paves the way to a quick and painless final review.

Giving more advice to get more

If you’re gonna take it, you gotta be able to dish it out.

The perfectionist in me had forgotten the power of feedback until I met Lauren. Every Thursday night, I would solicit edits for a draft of the weekly blog that was published on our website. Here or there some commentary would find its way into my inbox, but most of the time it was radio silence.

Ever since Lauren joined, I could always expect a few comments on Friday mornings. Not only did it keep us in sync at work, but it kept me honest and made me feel appreciated. I reciprocated by prioritizing my critiques of her work that came across my desk.

Borrowing a page out of the healthcare playbook, much of a doctor or dentist’s time is spent giving advice to patients. Good bedside manner is about preparation, precision, and passion. Similarly, great feedback is timely, actionable, and well-thought-out.

The way you give feedback is your sigil.

Lauren reviewed all work from different vantage points, offering specific edits and substitutions that were fact-based and mostly objective. There was no beating around the bush. It became part of her brand over time, a distinction that accelerated our careers and helped us make friends along the way.

Tapping into the tandem effect

There’s no greater feeling. It feels like Inception.

You know what I’m talking about. When you get excited about an idea, explain it to someone else, and they repeat it back or iterate off of it. It’s like a lightbulb clicks for everyone at the same time.

One plus one equals three, like riding a tandem bike.

By establishing a continuous loop of feedback and momentum, you scale learning curves faster. The trick here is to vet the right person for the job. Find a partner with a growth mindset, passion for their craft, and desire to see you improve. Look for that someone you’re willing to be seen in public with riding on a tandem bike. Just kidding.

Drowning up to my eyeballs in work, I had just volunteered myself to write a white paper due within the month. Only to see that another topic on the calendar had mysteriously appeared with my name next to it. Slated for two weeks after.

As the deadlines kept piling up, it was not looking good. So I decided to enlist help. Logan came to mind. Within less than three days, we crushed our way through two well-cited white papers in the healthcare, insurance, and technology space.

Build a flywheel of practice.

All it took was a few accountability touch bases, pings back and forth, and deep work. A quick, convenient form of mental sparring to unpack incredibly confusing concepts and make us both sound smarter. Results to be determined, but we had fun. This brings me to the next point.

Reframe to gain

I feel bad for this guy.

No one wanted to touch the smelly heap of busywork and complexity that was Project XCA. Even the initials had a spooky ring to them. Someone had signed Logan up, and a few days later he came knocking on my virtual Slack door for help.

Instead of adding more confusion, I decided to sprinkle in some fun. We turned the experience into a situation-based game, surveying each other questions designed for old people and making jokes. He took notes along the way. All of a sudden, an arduous lecture transformed into an interactive learning journey.

No one wants to hear why their work wasn’t good enough, especially when it’s subjective. Substitute negative feedback sandwiched between inauthentic posturing for co-creation and honest praise.

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain — and most fools do. But it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving.— Dale Carnegie

Learning is teaching and teaching is learning. The purpose isn’t to check a box, belittle, or appease anyone else. It’s about spending time to sharpen the pen, practice your craft, and benefit from the wisdom of others.

I could have given a cursory glance and made a few vague comments on Logan’s project. However, I realized this was an opportunity to lead, learn, and grow. For both of us.

Make an impact

The future of collaboration demands a world in which feedback is more efficient and effective. Especially when we’re forced to work with fewer in-person discussions or context. Now more than before, feedback is our way of making a mark on the world and each others’ lives.