Making choices fans the 🔥 of Life.
How do you make choices? 4 Tips to assist.
Is there a more powerful force than Choice? Have you ever received training on making Choices? And, what about for some, the choice to die?
A simple trip to the cereal aisle at the supermarket can instigate a feeling of being overwhelmed. Any time we are trying to make a single choice, but have more than ten options — we can get flooded.
Added to this, ‘Choice’ is a hot topic in various media circles and nations. Frequently, ‘choice’ and ‘freedom’ can be dance partners.
“Choice” is a 🔥 issue in recent years.
Think: vaccinations, public health restrictions in relation to COVID. Plus a re-ignited debate around a woman’s right to choose (in the U.S. and other countries).
Similarly, in Canada where I live, there has been 🔥 debate about the right to choose death. Medical-assistance in Dying (MAiD).
In March of the coming year (2023), legislation shifts to expand eligibility, permitting some folks with mental illness to choose and apply for MAiD.
Choice is a powerful force. (And, there are no shortage of opinions about it. Social media ablaze with them…)
For myself — living in Canada — I’ve navigated MAiD twice. Once for my sister who passed from brain cancer in 2017, then my mother this past year 2021 — also from cancer.
The option to choose MAiD, within our family, was one of the most dignifying, brave, and difficult. The first was sometimes overwhelming, but my sister’s demise from Ph.D. student, fitness and yoga instructor in her 40s, to someone prone to frequent seizures and radical personality changes.
MAiD was a blessing of a choice. I signed the papers for her to be approved. She went with a smile and family around her.
Similar for my mom. On her terms. In her 70s, she knew her time was up. She refused to go through any treatment and spend weeks in hospitals. That was her choice. She knew her body, she knew her choices.
The Art of Choosing
Dr. Sheena Iyengar (not affiliate) wrote a wonderful book in 2010: The Art of Choosing. It won awards.
Iyengar is a Professor of Business. She is also blind. A degenerative eye condition in her youth led to full blindness by 13. She is Indian American, the daughter of immigrants from India.
Her doctoral dissertation is called “Choice and its Discontents”. The book draws upon her continued research. She has a new book coming out soon.
Choice, she says, is about possibility. It gives us permission and vision for a better Self.
“Our choices construct our relationships, careers, world-views, and identities. We are the sum of our choices.”
This is the quote on the home page of her website.
Choice is powerful, but also paradoxical.
The challenge of many choices can actually be quite debilitating, frustrating, and dispiriting.
The absence of choice can be the same.
The choice to pass on their terms were so immensely powerful for my sister and my mom.
Oftentimes, when faced with too many choices, people delay or simply shut down.
Or, go the route of just saying f**k it and close their eyes “eenie, meenie, minie, MOE!”.
I know I’ve done it.
I read Iyengar’s book not long after it was published in 2010. I’ve kept it on our bookshelves through several moves. I pulled it out again recently.
Eight months ago, I made a difficult choice. I left six-figure salaried employment after more than a decade in public administraton. We have three kids, in a complicated blended family.
I was simply not wired to work in an office, a cubicle, or a boxed-in 9–5 existence. I love to be outside. I love to research, synthesize and write.
I love to write — have for years.
It was time to cut the box and enter a world of digital creation. I’ve been writing feverishly for months upon months. I post stories regularly here on Medium. Started a Substack newsletter. Post daily on LinkedIn and Twitter.
My mom’s passing has been a huge part of the choice. A switch turned on.
I realized that as my fourth decade begins to close. I could not, would not, should not fritter that away in an office. Thankfully, I’ve engaged quite meaningful work, but spent over 50 percent of that time in meetings. Many of them largely useless.
A choice was made. Time to write.
4 Tips for making choices
In her book Iyengar provides four tips for choosing when flooded with options:
1/ Cut:
Boil options down to a manageable number. The ideal is about 7, plus or minus two. And, often times we need even fewer options.
If you can’t tell the difference between a couple of options, then that means group them. Treat them as one.
2/ Cultivate Confidence:
Take advantage of expert advice and personalized recommendations. Rely on people and systems that know better, or have experience. This will assist in processing options.
The InterWeb is a powerful resource for this. I use it frequently. But beware of bullshit.
3/ Categorize: Group similar options to better understand relevant qualities and components of each choice. Or, look to others that have done this.
4/ Condition: Start with easy, simple choices first and work your way up. Don’t throw yourself into the deep end. Build your confidence in choosing. Bit by bit.
Make Choices that matter.
It is critical to focus on choices that matter. Try not to waste time and energy on mindless choices. Sifting through options to eventually make a choice takes energy and willpower.
We only have so much energy and will power to go around. This often means, try not to make choices when you’re tired, hungry, stressed, or in any other comprised state of mind.
How do you feel about the power of Choice?
Do you think about it much? Or, simply blast away at choices?