Make Use of Your Suffering
How to Turn Suffering into a Valuable Teacher
“In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.” Benjamin Franklin
That quote is missing a third: Suffering.
We all suffer; it’s a part of life.
We all experience things that leave us emotionally distraught, burned, and displeased.
However, what separates the bitter from the happy is what they do with their suffering.
They bitter curse life, calling it names and saying it’s unfair. They roll around in their suffering, playing the victim as they make life their culprit.
“It is what it is.”
We’ve all been there, stuck in our own tracks as our anger and resentment boil within. It’s one of the worst states to be in. A state of discontent and anger that creates this nasty film over life, making even the sweetest of fruits taste rotten and corrupt.
To fully understand suffering, one must first remove its negative connotation. To quote the great Tao of Pooh,
“Life is not a setter of traps, but a teacher of valuable lessons.”
The pain and suffering we hold within are not there to hold us back but to point us in a different direction of wisdom and contentment. They are not good or bad, but what we make them to be. If we believe them to be bad, then we do not use them fully. However, when we seek their value, we unlock life’s true potential.
The Illusion of Pain
Dan Pedersen makes great light of suffering in his article, A Reflection On The Purpose Of Suffering and The Nature Of Reality:
“All we know is that the true nature of reality isn’t what we experience through our natural senses. Our nervous system is interpreting reality in a particular way that makes sense to us and that is useful to us.”
Physical pain is an illusion. Our pain receptors react to something and send the message of pain to our brain.
Sound, too, is an illusion. It’s vibrations our ears interpret as noise and send to our brain.
Everything to us is an illusion. Our mind dictates how we react to these illusions. But we’re lucky enough to be human beings, capable of shifting our minds to respond how we see fit.
When you fully understand that, you become in control of your suffering. You’re better able to react to the illusion of suffering and make value of it. You gain clarity of suffering and develop a healthy relationship with it. One that allows you to see the value and wisdom of suffering.
The more I digest that pain is an illusion and our brains are what decipher it, the more I view our mindset as a file of codes that we have the power to change. With willpower, knowledge, and understanding, we can recode our brains to react to suffering constructively and productively. Much like removing a bug in a piece of code, we can fix our brains to respond to suffering more effectively.
Suffering can be an Honest Friend
Our minds are so powerful that they can deceive us into thinking suffering is just a fact of life, and there’s nothing we can do about it. Think of this as an overly supportive friend. While it can feel good to be pampered and complimented, too much gets you nowhere.
Treat suffering as an honest and blunt friend. The person who gives you their honest opinion, no matter how harsh it may be. And while it may sting to hear, it’s the most potent and growth-filled feedback you’ll ever get.
Growth doesn’t happen by hearing all the great things you’re doing. Actual growth happens by listening to all the blunderous stuff you’re doing and correcting them. But you’ll never be able to fix them if you 1. don’t know they’re there or 2. outright ignore them.
Suffering gives you an idea of your direction; it’s up to you to listen and change course. When you harness that feedback loop, life becomes exponentially better.
Don’t be Afraid to Sit with Your Suffering
Suffering is valuable; it can teach us many lessons about life and ourselves.
Don’t be afraid to sit with it.
Seek to better understand its meaning to you. Ask it questions:
- Why are you here?
- What about you is making me suffer?
- What message are you trying to tell me?
- What potential value are you offering?
- How can I learn from you so you’re no longer there?
When we better understand our suffering, we better understand what we want from life and what suits us. When viewed in this light, suffering becomes a road to happiness. One in which we lay the foundation of a fulfilling life.
Embrace Your Suffering for Endless Growth and Happiness
Suffering is inevitable; it’s a part of life. However, it’s not something that we should fear or avoid. Instead, we should embrace our suffering and use it for endless growth and happiness.
By changing our mindset and viewing suffering as a valuable teacher, we can develop a healthy relationship with it. We can listen to the lessons it offers and use them to move forward toward our goals. So don’t be afraid to sit with your suffering, seek to understand it, and use it to unlock life’s true potential.
A special thanks to Dan Pedersen for inspiring me to write this. His article on suffering is an excellent read, and I highly recommend it:
