Make No Mistake, Forcing You Back to Work is About Controlling You

8 real reasons why they want you in IRL

Suddenly the pandemic comes to an end and it’s: Back To Work People! Back to your cubicles! WHIP CRACK!

But we’ve been killing it from the comfort of our homes all this time. Pushing our employers’ revenue and market-cap to historic highs, doing more work and living more happily than we ever have.

So, why the hell do we have to suddenly uproot everything and get back into the office?

Their reasons: greater focus, increase production, and better collaboration.

Do you buy that? Given they are crushing their revenue, I certainly don’t. And neither should you.

Here are 8 real reasons why they want you back into the office.

1. Managers haven’t adapted

Poor managers haven’t adapted to managing people remotely— they just don’t know how to do it. The skill-sets they built up over the years only apply to IRL. So they want you back in, so they can get you under their thumbs and work their magic.

Isn’t that evil? It’s all about them, not you. They can’t adapt like you have, so they want to go back to what works for them. And they have the power to do that, the power to flip those levers to put you back into that chair.

2. Cognitive bias stupidity

Managers/Execs/etc don’t see you working…so you aren’t. No see — No work!

And they don’t want to look through all your output, that would take too long and be too boring. What they want is to lazily glance over at you at your cubical and see that you’re struggling at the computer because: A.) that makes them smile, and B.) makes them feel like they are doing their job by watching you.

So back into the office you go, because in their world no trees ever fall in the forest and employees do nothing unless they see it actually happen.

3. The 1% make the decisions

The wealthy 1% make the decisions. And they live in walled gardens, special doctors, special hospitals, and so on. They do not take the bus to work. They don’t even take the same elevator as you. Their world isn’t your world. Their world is protected already.

So they don’t see the danger in going back to the office cause there isn’t any for them. And, honestly, in a lot of cases, they aren’t even going to come back to the office themselves. They’re just making you do it. They’ll still be in their million-dollar mansions in their million-dollar home offices, while you’re packed into a COVID-coffin office.

But they make the calls and who are you to argue with them?

4. Middle managers fear losing their jobs

Middle managers are scared about losing their jobs because you’re working away, managing your own priorities now, handling it all, and they’ve nothing to do.

But with you back in the office and under their thumb, then suddenly they are busy again. Suddenly their high salaries are justified. Suddenly they feel more secure. And that’s what it’s about, them feeling secure, not you. Your security is nothing, their job security is everything. So they pressure the company to get your bum back in the seat.

5. Execs can’t take credit for your work now

A lot of managers, execs, and so on, live like vampires off your work. Without you, they wither.

And by that I mean, quite a lot of them don’t actually do anything, they just report on what your doing, take credit for your work, and steal your ideas and pass them off to their bosses like they thought them up.

And those people are suffering massively now. They need the water-cooler chats, the after-work drinks, the little impromptu parties, and so on to eavesdrop on what you and others are doing so they can feed.

Stealing like this, living like a vampire, is almost impossible in a remote world. So they will work their influence to end that world and get you back in the door.

6. Employees taking control of their working lives is threatening

Remote employees deciding when and how they work scares the hell out of micromanagers. They need to direct your each and every move in person, and then watch you complete those tasks. And now they can’t do that. And, worse, you’re getting your job done without them anyway.

That terrifies them. Puts the purpose of their job in question. It’s better for them you’re back in the office so they can keep an eye on you, so pressure, pressure, pressure the company to get you back.

7. Greedy idiots run the show

You can bet your bottom dollar there are a whole bunch of higher-ups who are rolling in surprise pandemic revenue and thinking: we made this much when people are working from home, imagine how much more we’ll make when we get people to come back to work!! We’ll triple their production and our bank accounts.

Again, notice the logic. It’s all about them and their profits over you and your mental health and safety.

So back you go, to stuff their coffers.

8. They need to keep their real-estate investments safe

During the pandemic, tech companies have bought more real-estate than ever: https://edition.cnn.com/2021/03/18/tech/google-office-space-expansion/index.html

The key here is, they’ve spent billions and billions of dollars and they’ll want to keep those investments secure. If nobody comes back to work and those offices stay empty, then the value of those buildings will plummet.

Suddenly, those genius real-estate investments are all underwater. But, praise be 🙏, they can just send out an email that says sets a return-to-work and that investment is instantly secured and appreciated again. It’s just that easy.

Final Thoughts

However they dress it up, better IRL collaboration, water-cooler insights, increase performance, improving the company’s bottom line, and so on, it’s all window-dressings for the truth.

The truth is, it’s about controlling you. It’s about monitoring you. And it’s all about what’s best for them, not you.

Some companies realize that work flexibility and work-life-balance are part of the reasons their revenue increased, so they’re letting people work from home forever. Sadly, they are the exception and not the norm.

But time will tell.

Little companies will offer remote work to attract talent from FAANGs. And if the talent starts to flow away from them, they’ll have to offer the same to staunch it. We shall see.